Monday, May 8, 2017

Monday Mantra: Complementary Contradictions

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: "Everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but every good there is a little evil...nothing in the universe is simple." - The meaning of Yin Yang
Splashy Art
In the last couple of months a lot of wonderful things have happened in my life, along with plenty of irritating and not so great things as well. For instance, I got married, I went on a great honeymoon, I got to spend quality time with the people I love. Additionally, I got the crazy dizzies (read all about it here), my former tenants moved out of my rental house and left it a gross mess, and I got in a car accident. Good and bad. Love and hate. Yin and yang.

I've been trying to be positive about the negative, but it's been hard. The thing I struggle with the most is the people aspect. Specifically, the people who lack common decency to take responsibility for their actions.

With my former tenants, we had a great relationship until the end, when they were moving out and I saw the state they were leaving my house in, a state they thought was acceptable. There was trash all over the back yard. The carpet had bright pink and red stains in almost every single room. There was food and candle wax and who knows what on the walls. The bathrooms...the toilets...heaven help us all.

So, of course, when I told them this was a problem and I would need to use the deposit to take care of this and hey, the deposit might not even cover what I needed to do for the house, they got upset. They got upset, after I let them break our lease agreement and leave 30 days early because they'd just bought their dream home that they'd been working towards for years and I didn't want to hold them back. I wanted to do right by them. They couldn't be bothered to do the same, apparently.

Then, to top off that awesomeness, someone hit my car in the parking lot while I was grocery shopping and broke part of my bumper that I JUST got fixed from my car accident. No note, nothing.

Needless to say, I've been a little ticked off at (some of) the human race. These two items, in particular, were getting to me far more than they should, so I had to do something about it.

I had to find empathy for these people in these situations. Not for them, but for me.

Maybe the person who hit my car got scared. Maybe they couldn't afford insurance and didn't know what to do. Maybe they didn't even realize what they'd done.

Maybe my former tenants were embarrassed and didn't know how to handle the situation. Maybe they truly believed it was clean.

Maybe all of these people are assholes.

Sorry, sorry. I'm still working on this empathy thing.

When I get to this point, where my thoughts deviate back to the negative, I think of Judie, my car accident buddy.

Typically, in a car accident, things get heated. You never know who you're dealing with or how they'll act, so it can be a awful scenario on top of an already horrible situation. Somehow, though, I hit the jackpot in the Good Human Being category when Judie hit my car.

The first thing we both did was make sure the other person was OK. (Tip: This should ALWAYS be the first thing you do in an accident, my friends.) We asked each other over and over again, "Are you okay? Are you sure? Does anything hurt? Are you sure?" and then we hugged each other like we were long lost friends. Judie apologized at least seventeen more times and then we hugged some more.

Two hours later, her insurance company called me. They took full responsibility for everything, set me up with a rental car, and told me everything would be 100% covered. Judie sent me texts here and there checking on me to make sure I was fine and I checked on her too. It was the best car accident I've ever gotten in, and that's not something you can typically say. No one got hurt, we all genuinely wanted the other people to be OK, and each person took proper responsibility for what happened.

Judie, though she doesn't know it, gives me faith in humanity, in all kinds of ways.

She is the light to the dark, the good to the bad, the yin to the yang. She is the reason I still believe there are good people who won't let you down. Good people who will choose to do the right thing.

Thank you, Judie, wherever you are. The world needs people like you.

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