Monday Mantra: The Magic of Being an Adult

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Adulting is hard

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Anna Dorfman

Being an adult is weird.

You get to do whatever you want, like stay up late and eat ice cream for breakfast and watch an entire TV show on Netflix in one night just because you can. But being an adult means having this thing called "responsibility," which basically means paying bills and mowing the lawn and doing laundry that never, ever ends, so you don't actually get to do whatever you want like five-year-old you thought you would.

And when it comes to age, you don't necessarily feel old. You're still silly and you goof off with your friends and you really don't feel all that different from twenty-year-old you. Somehow, though, at the exact same time you feel like a dinosaur in need of a nap. Like, every damn day. You also start wondering what's up with kids these days and the awful music they listen to, because the music of your time was way, waaaaaay better. You find yourself saying this out loud to your friends, who agree with you, and suddenly you realize you've become your mom/dad- just like that.

You talk about the weather with your friends on the regular. Rain and snow and temperature become very, very, very important to you.

You read magazines like Better Homes and Gardens and Redbook and you actually enjoy them.

Your retirement could not get here soon enough because you feel like you've been working for a fazillion years. At the same time, you want your 401k to be worth a fazillion dollars, so you keep chugging along, trying to figure out what the hell a stable market fund is and why it doesn't look very stable.

You most definitely decide the value of doing things based on how much effort it will take. "I should go buy groceries, but then I'd have to get dressed and I don't really feel like putting on pants, so I think I'll pass."

At the same time that you're feeling all of these weird adult-y things, you're also enjoying life like you never have before.

You don't care about what other people think of you or how you look to them because you're finally comfortable in your own skin.

You've achieved at least some of your goals and you are immensely proud of yourself for that.

You have solid, strong, decades long friendships that bring you joy in life in ways nothing else does.

You do get to do whatever you want, to a degree, and you know it's better than living at home with your mom and dad.

Being an adult is weird, but it's also pretty damn awesome.

The Reflection of Shadows: We Will Not Fall

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

We Will Not Fall

It hurts sometimes-
The truth and lies,
Of hope,
Of doubt,
When life screams out.
But you
And me,
We know we'll see-
The truth,
The way,
To brighter days.
We're strong,
We're brave,
We'll find our way.
We stand here tall-
We will not fall.

Monday Mantra: Breaking the Law

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta

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I've been a little diabolic lately, gang. I've been breaking rules, questioning authority, getting tattoos.

It feels so damn good.

As the wedding continues to inch closer and closer, I've felt the need to tackle some "me" things, like getting several tattoos that have been on my to-do list for far too long. That probably seems weird - inking up before the wedding. Tattoos have always been like missing pieces of the Puzzle of Me. Once realized (or found, so to speak) I always feel a little more whole. A little more complete.

Outside of that, The Fiance and I have been breaking some wedding rules. We're so gangsta, you guys. So gangsta. There will not be a garter toss or a flower bouquet toss. One of my best friends is marrying us, which is a huge rule we're breaking according to my mother who believes we should and must be married by a man of the cloth. One of The Fiance's best friends, a girl (his cousin), is on his side with the guys. Oh, and my dress came in and It. Is. Beautiful. But it's not done. I'm adding some extra special surprise touches to it.

Oh, and The Fiance has seen my dress. In fact, he saw all the dresses when I was in Dress Deciding Hell.

He's my person, my best friend. He's the one I go to with everything. Of course I'd talk to him about the dress decision that was driving me crazy. He knows my mind. He knows how to help me decide when I'm stuck. He's knows me.

Let's see, what other rules are we breaking?

We're going to see each other before the wedding, and not just because of wedding pictures. We will wake up together that morning, eat breakfast together. We are our best selves together and no old and outdated wedding myths will change that.

Absolutely everything about the wedding is what feels right to us. That is the beginning and the end. While things may not be traditional, they will be awesome, fun, and very, very delicious.

The Reflection of Shadows: Lost

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

Lost 

Lost and found- again, again.
You lose your way when thoughts rush in,
You let them take you, smother action,
Overpower sense with passion.

I've lost you in a million ways:
In thoughts, in logic, on darker days.
You're not quite there, then there you are,
It's hide and seek; it breaks my heart.

You can't see past what's in your head,
You'll repeat motions 'till you're dead.
You won't get help; you're lost in noise-
You've trapped yourself without a choice.

In the World of Wellness: Skincare Love

In the World of Wellness: Pamper your skin

You know I'm all about a good skincare process, so I had to share my two new favorites: Kypris and Jurlique. I use these in conjunction with my Hylunia products and they all work together so well, you'd think they were a set.

Kypris Antioxidant Dew

This gorgeous blue bottle (of what looks like milk on the inside) is miraculous. You know how your skin can get in the winter, all dry and just blah? Nope. Not when you use this product. Since I started the antioxidant dew back in late summer, my skin has been healthy and hydrated. I might even say dewy.  It has a whopping 26 natural active ingredients in it, such as sea algae and tamanu; two ingredients that work miracles, yet are rarely seen or used in many skin care products. I use a few drops of this baby at night before my moisturizer. It's like a treat for my face every evening and I seriously look forward to putting it on. It feels...luxurious. Kind of like what the evil queen in Snow White and the Huntsman probably felt when she bathed in that milk bath, but less evil.

Photo Credit: kyprisbeauty.com

Jurlique Activating Water Essence

My other new favorite is this GIANT bottle of super hydrating water essence. What is water essence, you may ask? I don't know the clinical term, but I'm pretty sure it's water blessed by fairies or high elves or wizards. I user this each morning before my daytime moisturizer. As weird as this sounds, I feel like it kind of plumps the skin once you add the moisturizer in. It's allllll about the moisture, my friends. The activating water essence also has a bevy of plant extracts in it, including nettle, which is a rather impressive plant that doesn't get enough credit or use these days. Again, let's not forget about the giganticness of the bottle. This stuff is going to last me a year, minimum. You can't say that about any other skin care product, so this fact alone is a huge selling point.

Photo Credit: Jurlique.com

The Reflection of Shadows: I Will Unlove You

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

I Will Unlove You

Once upon a time, they told us,
Time we had, we thought, we squandered,
Time that came too swift, too startling-
Time stole you away, my darling.

Once upon a midnight dreary,
Memories I can't see clearly,
Death came knowing, knocking, stalking-
Death destroyed our love, my darling.

Once upon a nevermore,
I bared my soul, I broke my core,
I tore my ribcage open wide-
I tried to get my heart to die.
_

I'll be seeking, I'll be searching
For a way to stop the hurting,
For a way to end the wanting-
I will unlove you, my darling.

Monday Mantra: ...'Cause I Don't Think That They'd Understand (pt. 2)

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: "Somebody once told me the definition of hell: On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become." - Anonymous

Lostfog Co.
Society6

It's funny how it feels like the universe listens to your thoughts sometimes.

The other day on a walk with The Fiance, he brought up the topic of thoughts. He wanted to know what I'd learned from my psychology days. Specifically, he wanted to know how I felt about the power of thoughts. As my mind scrolled through all of the founding fathers of psychology, I landed on someone unexpected. I landed on Jon Kabat-Zinn, my very favorite mindfulness expert.

I explained that Kabat-Zinn's outlook on thoughts - that we get to pick and choose what thoughts we pay attention to, what thoughts we make "real" - was the most forward thinking, insightfully powerful, and life changing thing I'd ever learned. That it quite literally changed how I think.

The Fiance gave me the funniest look and then proceeded to hit play on a podcast episode by Invisibilia: The Secret History of Thoughts.

The timing of this couldn't have been better. Not only was the entire episode about essentially what I had just said (without, sadly, the mention of Jon Kabat-Zinn), it also reflected a movement with psychologists and therapists using this approach with patients. In particular, patients who are in some ways similar to my mom. People with overwhelming thoughts.

I won't ruin the episode for you, as I do hope you listen to is since it is so very, very good, but I will say this: it gave me hope. While I don't think I could ever convince my mom to seek the kind of therapy they discussed (simply because she refuses any help at all) it gave me hope for everyone else. It gave me hope that one day mental illness as a whole, and those who suffer with thoughts like this, will no longer be ashamed or embarrassed to seek out help. Rather, that they will feel empowered.

Empowered to know that they hold the key within themselves. That we all do.

Sometimes we just can't find it. Sometimes it's too dark. But there are people in the world that can help us find the key, unlock the door, step through to a better place. There are good people in this world who want to, and are, helping. They're helping the rest of us good people who simply can't see our way out.

The Reflection of Shadows: Caution

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

Caution

He was cautious because he knew the value of his heart.

I wasn't because I knew the value of love.