Root and Branch

Photo credit: Spotebi

 

I've spent the last four years digging. 

I've been trying to understand Trump supporters, both the hard core ones and the every day folks. Not because of party affiliations or because I believe one side is better than the other, but because I don't understand their thought processes. How does one look past all the insurmountable flaws, lies, scams, and deceit and still see a leader of value? To my mind, this kind of thinking is illogical and dangerous, which is why I've been doing my homework.

I've been trying to understand the flaws in our political system, our media, how the two combined to create this current disaster, and the opportunities for improvement. I've spent an enormous amount of time learning and the most shocking thing I've unearthed is how many people gave up or never even attempted to educate themselves, understand, or get the facts.

But, I also understand. Growing is painful. Learning truths that go against what you thought you knew is confusing. Realizing you were wrong is extremely uncomfortable. 

It's also what good humans do, regardless. 

Avoiding all of the above only leads to terrible outcomes, like with the rise of Nazis or with the Milgram Experiment on obedience and authority figures.

I recently saw an excerpt that summed up the difference between Trump and Biden supporters in terms of how their various leadership styles and ideologies make people feel. If I could find the original, I'd repost it here, but it went something like this:

Trump supporters see a leader who embodies the notion of freedom; a freedom to be whoever you want and do whatever you want without care or consequences. His model tells people, literally, that you can do bad things without being caught or held accountable. He is the epitome of easy freedom.

Biden, on the other hand, says bend the knee. He says we have problems in our country and we need to solve them, put in the hard work. He says we need to apologize for our past mistakes and work harder to be better. He says we've been wrong. His model tells people we are not perfect, we have a long way to go, and that we need to acknowledge our faults. This is a stance that makes people uncomfortable. Being challenged and told you're wrong isn't pleasant or welcomed.

Here's the thing: America isn't perfect; it never was.

One thing humans are terrible at is attaching ourselves to notions and ideas. Those notions and ideas have roots that go deep. Even after we learn that some of our ideas are wrong, we struggle to accept those facts. It challenges us in ways we don't want to be challenged. It requires apologies and hard work and a jab at our egos to do the root removal - so we don't. 

Instead, we try to bury them. We shovel mound after mound of dirt over the roots in an effort to conceal their existence. In an effort to move on and not have to think about them, not have to do the hard work. We take the easy way out every opportunity we can.

But things with roots grow. 

They don't stay hidden. They don't die out. They find their way to the surface; they persevere in the face of our denial of their existence.

The only way to change and truly move forward is to roll up our sleeves and pull those old/bad/wrong ideas and notions out, root and branch. 

We cannot bypass the hard work. 

Willful negligence and denial will get all of us nowhere dangerously fast.

Fear is the enemy of freedom. Don't contribute to it; remove it.

_

Here's what I bluntly want to leave you with as we close out this insane chapter in America in hopes that we all, collectively, work together for the better:

 - Party loyalty is dangerous; loyalty to humankind is better.

Each side wants you to be loyal so they can do whatever the hell they want without you truly paying attention. Don't be a willing pawn in their game; do your homework. 

I voted for Biden. That doesn't mean I think he's perfect, nor that I think all his previous decisions were perfect. It also, and most importantly, doesn't mean I will trust every single thing he says or be pleased with his actions at all times.

I am not loyal to him; I am loyal to humanity. I want what is best for all of us, not some of us. I will always vote in favor of humanity, not in favor of a particular party.

I will not run around with a flag on my car or a hat with his logo on it because, honestly, that's weird. He's not a rock star or a brand; he's the leader of our country. He will make mistakes. I will not overlook them and deny them. I will search out facts and I will trust the experts.

In four more years, I will vote accordingly and I will put a hell of a lot of effort into that vote. I hope you do, too.

 - Don't use your religion (or personal preferences) as a weapon against others.

I say this as someone who grew up in an extremely religious family, who loved going to church every week, and who was super close to her pastor's family. I understand, better than most, the bible. My grandfather was a minister. I have studied a variety of religions to better understand them and here's what I know: each group thinks they're right and everyone else is wrong, which is impossible if you know anything about the God everyone preaches about.

Everyone thinking they're right applies to personal preferences and perspectives, too. 

Just because you don't believe in abortion doesn't mean it's not the right answer for the woman who was raped. Just because you don't agree with homosexuality doesn't mean LGBTQ+ people should have to live in fear of their basic human rights being taken away. Just because you don't understand the Black Lives Matter movement doesn't mean there aren't Black people who deal with racism daily and deserve to feel safe in their neighborhoods, cars, and in general living their lives.

Listen to your friends, but also listen to people you don't know to widen your perspective. All of us live narrow lives. It's our responsibility to expand who and what we know so that we better understand this thing called life - and not just our own lives, but everyone's.

 - Hold yourself accountable.

Listen to a variety of media outlets. Don't fall prey to just one source of information because it's easy. Compare news stories, check for recurring themes, and always look for the facts.

Read news article from other places in the world so you can understand how the world views us. 

Understand that we are 1 country out of nearly 200. Our views are not the world's views. Understand that our first world country peers typically lean toward what we consider far left, but that's because many of their democracies are human centric: paid maternity leaves, some form of universal healthcare, better education systems, better prison reform, etc. We're like the youngster who can't keep up and has been embarrassing ourselves by throwing a fit when we get tired. We have work to do; it will not be easy.

Many people vote based on one major thing: taxes. However, most people don't confirm what really goes on after promises are made. Pay attention to how we get taxed, why, and who really benefits.

Republicans have long been considered the better party when it comes to taxes, but those tides have been changing for a while now. George W. Bush gave a tax cut that helped the wealthy, whereas Obama gave a tax cut that benefited the middle class. As for our current president, Trump's tax cut amounted to only .9% of GDP, where as Obama's was 1.5% in his first term alone. Trump's TCJA plan, which by all means sounded good, ended up favoring billionaires and corporations. 

Do. Your. Homework. Always ask yourself what the current president and party have actually done. 

This is a fantastic Business Insider article that sums up Trump's accomplishments and failures. For instance, it notes the TCJA plan as an accomplishment for being signed into legislature and cutting corp. taxes from 35% to 21%. However, it also notes the negative side to that action and how most of the promises made haven't been achieved and may never come to fruition. (For fun, you can also check your own tax bracket to see how much more or less you pay than major corporations. A lot of people now pay MORE than the companies that make fortunes off of us.) I appreciate that it also calls out how the booming economy he came into was from Obama, although he took credit. This is something most of us need to learn, which is that each president inherits the economy, either good or bad, from their predecessor and depending on how bad, has to work extremely hard to right side things again. Biden has a large task ahead of him; should he pull it off it will be remarkable.

The Reflection of Shadows: The Creator Who Doesn't Create

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

The Creator Who Doesn't Create

The creator who doesn't create-  

Like death by a thousand paper cuts,

Death by a thousand silences,

Death by all the missed chances.

The singer who doesn't sing-

A song lodged in her throat.

A whisper of defeat before

Success had a chance to grow.

The lover who lost the fight-

The lover who didn't try.

The lover who loved deeply

Without ever letting it show.

The chef that doesn't cook.

The teacher that doesn't teach.

The gardner, the artist, the leader

Giving up before they succeed-

Doubting what they're meant to be.

Re-post: The Things We Know, the Things We Don't

One more re-post because this, too, still seems so vital. Questions to ask yourself, today and every day:

 - Why do we think we know better than the experts who have spent years studying their fields? 

 - Why do we give more weight to someone's words than their actions, especially when those actions prove the opposite of what they're saying? 

 - Why does the way we "care" about some things cost other people their lives, happiness, security, etc?

 - Why do we stand behind decades - centuries, even - old information when the world is a completely different place? Why do we do that in our government, our religion, in any way that can hurt another person?

 - Why is it hard to accept the truth when presented with solid facts? And what does that say about us?

_

Monday Mantra: Pay attention

Society6
Mikio Murakami

Have you ever considered the weight of knowledge? Of what knowing or not knowing something really means in the big picture?

Once upon a time, Japan released upon us the deadliest hot air balloons known to man. In an attempt to terrify and kill us, they created Fu-Go weapons that would float, thousands of miles in the air, from their country to ours. Silent weapons of death sent by the gods in the sky.

You probably don't know this story because it was a secret for many, many years. At the time, and for decades after, the government kept it a secret on purpose. This was done intentionally and strategically. Almost no one knew what had happened, that is, except for a small group of very unfortunate people. There was no hysteria in the United States, no fear, and Japan thought they had failed. That same lack of knowledge, however, is what killed a pregnant woman and several innocent children. Had they known these weapons were out there they never would have gone to investigate the strange thing in the woods that they spotted.

The knowledge we possess, or the lack thereof, comes with a price. It is powerful. It is what tips the scale one way or another. Very often, it's the deciding vote in life or death, good or bad, dangerous or safe situations.

Consider a time before fossil fuels. An era before we had electricity and power as we know it today. For most of us, it's unimaginable. Now, consider what it was like for the people that realized they could literally power the world with fossil fuels. I am certain their intentions were primarily good. I am certain it never even occurred to them what that would mean to the world decades into the future, the price we're all paying right now- the rush to find a renewable means of energy. What we didn't know then, we know more about now.

The key to this Puzzle of Knowing lies in what comes after our frame of knowledge changes.

We decide who we are by the actions we take. Do we acknowledge the errors we made along the way and move forward toward better things? Or do we pretend we don't know any better, still, when the evidence is so clear?

This is where you need to pay attention; to how you see things, to how other people react, to what comes next. This is why you need to pay attention; right now, immediately, always.

We can't know everything, it's impossible. That isn't an excuse for us to throw our hands up in the air like we just don't care.

Instead, we must remain open minded and we must look at every angle possible. We must be willing to change our minds when new facts and data surface. We can't get stuck in the old, in the past, in what worked once upon a time. We must hold ourselves accountable to find the facts, not rely on social media as our history lesson in life. When we are shown that we are wrong, that there is a better way, regardless of the effort, we must work towards that new and better way. And when we see something that we know is wrong, we must stand together until it is made right.

I mention that last piece because it feels vitally important in this very moment.

I can't tell you how many times I've recently seen or heard "Give our new president a chance. Whether you like him or not, he's our president and we need to support him."

Normally, I would agree. Normally, it's not that big of a deal. Really, it's not.*

However, nothing about our new president is normal.

To all those people who are telling everyone to give him a chance, to see what happens over the next four years:

 - Think of Rosa Parks. Would you have told her to calm down, that everything would be just fine, to give it a few years and see what happens?

 - Would you have stood behind Hitler when he promised to return his country to its former greatness?

I hope your answer for both of those is no.

Knowledge is power.

What we know about our new president is: He's a blatant liar, he doesn't conduct himself as a leader, he's using Nazi terminology in a modern way (Read this and this), and that he has ill will towards a variety of people - to name just a few of the many terrible things he does.

We know the White House website changed its page in less than 24 hours of him becoming president, with a QVC ad for his wife and the removal of certain info related to LGBT and climate change. We know people around the world, in numerous countries, have expressed concerns about his presidency and, just over the weekend, showed a tremendous amount of support for women's rights, among other things. That single point alone should speak volumes.

What we don't know is what he's capable of or what the future holds.

Here's to knowledge. Let's see where it gets us next.

-

For everyone around the world who has been standing by our side, supporting the people of America, using your voices and fighting with us- thank you. Those two words don't adequately sum up how appreciative we are. Thank you for helping us fight, not just for a better America, but for a better collective world.

-

*By which I mean voting is a big deal and getting the right people in office is a big deal, but typically the opponents are on a more fair playing field, which is to say: There's normally a lot less crazy in our candidates. In most instances, we're going to be fine either way.

Re-post: Nothing Satisfies Hate

What's happening in America right now - again - reminded me of this post I wrote three short years ago. Of how hatred halts all progress, refuses growth, refuses to learn, refuses to change. 

How it is never, not ever, satisfied. 

Enough isn't in its vocabulary; it can't be. Hate is all consuming, all demanding, unyielding in its pursuit of whatever it deems necessary to be destroyed...

...or conquered.

Remaining silent and complacent only gives it more strength. 

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." - Desmond Tutu

This applies to everything.

_

Monday Mantra: Nothing in the world will satisfy hate. It is designed to want more, more, more...

Society6
Mehersgoel

The unbelievable acts that took place recently in Charlottesville, VA got me thinking: What is the purpose of hate?

We grow up learning that "hate" is a bad word. As children, we're taught not to use it because we don't fully understand the implications of what it means. However, as adults, it appears some of us have forgotten that lesson. Maybe some of us never learned it in the first place.

We direct hate freely, in any and all ways we see fit. We don't just say we hate this or we hate that, we feel it. We let it permeate our beings, make a home in our bones. We let it control, we let it devour. We let it be a weapon in the war against others because, for some of us, it feels good.

What happens is destruction of the soul caused by a single, powerful, all consuming emotion.

This is the purpose of hate.

It's only when we grow out of the feeling of hatred, when we grow with and into love, that we see how childish of a feeling hate really is. How foolish, how lacking. How it demands we worship it, follow it, do its bidding. How we become prisoners of what it wants, what it will always want: more.

Let's play the devil's advocate for a moment. Let's pretend that everyone involved in the acts in Charlottesville eventually get what they want- utopia. A perfect world of only white people who look like them, share the same views they do. Then what? Are we to assume this is their happily ever after? That by quenching their thirst for hate they will be satisfied once and for all?

Hitler orchestrated the murder of millions. Do you think he ever felt satisfied? Do you think he ever thought it was enough?

No.

The answer will always be no. There is no such thing as satisfaction when it comes to hate. If this utopia existed, if they got exactly what they wanted, they'd eventually find something new to hate. They'd bicker among themselves, they'd find imperfections, and a new kind of enemy would be formed. A new era of problems, of people that are unworthy, of things that are "wrong" and do not belong. No one that allows these kinds of feelings inside of them ever finds satisfaction. They spend their whole lives chasing the next thing that must be destroyed.

Hate is a drug.

It will always want more. More of your time, more of your life, more damage and destruction and you- more of you, until there's nothing left but a miserable shell of a person who wasted their life running after unreachable goals.

Love, on the other hand, will rebuild.

It will nourish, it will soothe, it will open spaces inside of you that you never knew existed. Love will not demand more from you, it will not take- it will give. It will give and give and give, and just when you think there is no room left inside of you, it will find a crack, a crevice, an opening- and then it will give you more.

Love is the only cure for the hate virus. Only with love do we find true satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Everything else will leave you empty, leave you wanting, leave you in need. Everything else is a decoy.

Let us build a world so full of love that hate has no place left to live.

Re-post: Civilization is Just the Slow Process of Learning to be Kind

I've been scrolling through old posts and have come upon a few that still resonate - maybe even more so - today. This is one of them that repeats in my brain lately...

Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind.

We're clearly still learning. 

_

Monday Mantra: If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.  - Horace Traubel

My grandmother-in-law (or just Gram, as we call her) gave me a book of poems for Christmas: Poems That Touch The Heart compiled by A. L. Alexander. It's a copy of a book her late husband, George, liked to read. George would often come across a poem that reminded him of how he felt about her. He'd then jot down the poem from the book and give it to her. Adorable, right guys?

As you may have already figured out, I'm a fan of all things poetry, but Gram sharing something with me like this that had a special meaning to her was really quite touching. I was excited to read it and even more excited when I realized this was no normal book of poems- no, no. This is a masterpiece of humanity at its finest.

At the beginning of the book there's a rather lengthy introduction. I don't always read the intro, but this one caught my attention immediately.

Mr. Alexander starts off by telling a story about a local university president that needed a quote for a new building that would, essentially, sum up humanity's quest to define morality. The president struggled, but eventually landed on this simple statement followed by a poem:

"Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind."

So many gods, so many creeds, 

So many paths that wind and wind, 

When just the art of being kind, 

Is all this sad world needs.

He then continues into a story about a piece of history I'd never heard of: The Good Will Court.

Back in the early 1900's, Mr. Alexander worked in broadcasting. This is when radios were the entertainment of all entertainment. Families would gather round their radios, anxiously anticipating their favorite radio show to start up. (Picture: The Christmas Story. Remember little Ralphie and his unyielding dedication to the Little Orphan Annie radio show? Better yet, consider the Orson Welles fiasco, where he terrified the nation by thinking aliens were invading. Radio was that important back then.)

In the 1930's, Mr. Alexander was noticing a theme in letters he'd receive from people all over the world. Letters about economic stress, family problems, a feeling of hopelessness overall. As someone who always had the listener in mind, he wanted to do something to help. He enlisted the help of over 60 judges from a variety of local courts and created a radio show where listeners could get real help for free. On March 31, 1935, he debuted the Good Will Court. It was, to say the least, revolutionary at the time.

Unfortunately, a group of lawyers got together and shut down the show based on, basically, not liking that legal advise was being given away, but for the two years it was on, it had unprecedented rankings in the radio world. Mr. Alexander went on to create more shows of similar nature, as his goal to help people was as strong as ever.

In all of the radio shows he hosted, he would always close each one out the same way- with a poem. Over the years, tens of thousands of listeners sent him poetry to be read. Each night, he'd pick a different one and read it over the airwaves. He found that poetry, "...teaches us there can be no inward peace or happiness without some elemental faith in life's essential goodness."

That, my friends, is how this book was created. Each poem within the book was sent in by some long ago listener, which was then selected to be read on the air, and finally, based on the warm reception it received from the audience, was then chosen for this book.

I don't know about you, but that entire story - from where these poems originated from, and why, to how they landed in this book - warms my heart. Candidly, I can see why the poems (and stories, some of them seem to be) that are in his book were chosen. So far, all of the ones I've read have truly resonated with me. That doesn't always happen with poetry. Sometimes you have to be in the same headspace as the author, but the poems are all so vast and diverse that they tug at your heartstrings every which way.

Below are some of my favorites that I've come across so far. I highly suggest picking up this unique book of poems so you, too, can read and experience a little piece of history that remains true today: People need people, people need hope, and we should all build fires to keep one another warm in cold times.

Around The Corner

Around the corner I have a friend, 

In this great city that has no end;

Yet days go by, and weeks rush on, 

And before I know it a year is gone, 

And I never see my old friend's face, 

For Life is a swift and terrible race.

He knows I like him just as well

As in the days when I rang his bell

And he rang mine. We were younger then, 

And now we are busy, tired men:

Tired with playing a foolish game, 

Tired with trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow, " I say, "I will call on Jim, 

Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes - and tomorrow goes, 

And the distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner! - yet miles away...

"Here's a telegram, sir..."

                                      "Jim died today."

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end:

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

- Charles Hanson Towne

Unsubdued

I have hoped, I have planned, I have striven, 

To the will I have added the deed;

The best that was in me I've given, 

I have prayed, but the gods would not heed.

I have dared and reached only disaster, 

I have battled and broken my lance;

I am bruised by a pitiless master

That the weak and the timid call chance.

I am old, I am bent, I am cheated

Of all that Youth urged me to win;

But name me not with the defeated, 

Tomorrow again, I begin.

 - S. E. Kiser

We Need To Talk: Seeking out facts and creating tangible change

Origins of photo unknown

Friends, 

There are things we need to talk about. Things you and I need to do differently so that we become better people, raise better people, support in government offices better people. It's not about sides; it's about facts. Finding them, knowing them, putting them to use for the good of humankind.

Let's get started.

Seek Out the Truth

It's 2020 and we have cars that can drive themselves, yet our media outlets run unchecked. Stop watching Fox News. Stop watching CNN. These are entertainment shows. They are not accredited news outlets because they can't be; there is no regulatory body within the U.S. government that monitors what they say, not even the FCC. The Federal Communications Commission has said themselves they don't police the content of these stations. 

Research the data you are being given by fact checked, neutral, fair and balanced networks. 

That information exists thanks to MediaMatters as well as AllSides, which has outlined a handy-dandy media bias chart. USE IT. Stop watching and reading resources from any of the outlets that fall on the far Left or Right, which are designed to feed you data that support only those agendas. Stay in the middle when you're seeking the truth. 

I will say this, however, if you want to better understand people who differ in opinions, read/watch the complete opposite of what you normally would: if you watch Fox, watch CNN, and vice versa. It'll help you understand, even more so, why accurate, neutral reporting is what we all need.

Peoples lives and livelihoods are literally depending on you doing your research and not relying on mainstream media - including social media - to trick you. Don't even get me started on the nonsense Facebook lets run wild (AKA Plandemic). Hold yourself accountable to fact checked, reliable sources like BBC, a globally recognized source for fair and accurate news reporting.

Become a Better Voter 

I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat. I do care that you don't get washed away in the lies each groups extremists put out for your consumption. I do care that you pay attention to the actual facts. 

Before we get to the 2020 election, test your knowledge. Challenge yourself. Understand how the voting system actually works (i.e. plurality votes). Understand that our two party system is archaic and goes against what our founding fathers had in mind. Learn about ranked-choice voting and why that's a far better option.

Then, fact check everything you think you know. For some of you, this will be an uncomfortable awakening. That's OK. Once you know better, do better. It's that simple. It's that simple because separating fact from fiction is what makes you a good American. Again, it is not about parties. You'll come to understand that in time.

PolitiFact checks all the things politics related. Click on Donald Trump and you'll find a myriad of lies. He's telling the truth ~14% of the time. He's telling you fake information or flat out lying ~50% of the time. Everything in between that is a half truth. In comparison with his 2016 presidential competition, Hillary Clinton is telling you false information ~13% of the time.

Click on Joe Biden and you'll find he's sharing mostly true to entirely true info ~35% of the time. Bernie Sanders is the most honest of the bunch with literally 0% of incidences where he fits the "pants on fire" category. (Note: These stats are as of when I first wrote this and are subject to change based on updated fact checking.)

Another resource I highly recommend is FactCheck. You will be shocked and upset and sometimes happy, but you'll have the facts. 

For everyone who is currently a Trump supporter: if you want to talk about his accomplishments while in office, also know which ones rolled over from the Obama Administration (this happens all the time with every presidency - learn about it), which ones are truly his, and what he's failed at. This article from Business Insider will help. It's from December 2019, before COVID and the racial inequality protests began. It is from a neutral based media outlet (as shown on AllSides). It is not far Left or Right; it is exactly the type of material all of us should be seeking. 

Even if you land where you did originally after all of your fact checking in wanting to vote for him and/or supporting him, you'll have done the legwork to better understand others viewpoints.

On that note: don't delete your friends who have opposing political views. It's good to have a diverse friend group. Talk to them about their various opinions. Understand why they feel the way they feel. This is how we come together. This is how we bridge the divide.

Make Choices for Humankind Collectively

Here, I want to talk about something very specific and relevant to today: the issues surrounding inequality as they pertain to the Black community. This, again, is not about parties. This is about facts and taking care of one another. 

To my friends who are white and who are, in particular, struggling with this concept: I get how uncomfortable you are and how confusing white privilege is when you aren't wealthy, when you've wondered how to pay your bills, when taxes eat away at your paycheck. White privilege is older than any of us alive today. It goes back so far we don't even know how to contemplate it correctly in this day and age because it's been around that long.

All you have to do is simple: acknowledge that it exists. Then, do better as a human going forward.

The facts are these if you're white: You've never been pulled over by the police because of your skin color. You've never gone to the grocery store and found anything less than a gazillion hair care options.

That's it. Do you see? It's the simple, small, everyday ways we walk around in this world that Black people and people of color collectively do not have the privilege of doing carelessly like we do.

Also, for the gazillionth time: Black Lives Matter does not mean only Black lives matter. It doesn't mean the lives of any other person, including police officers, matter less. That is never what it meant. It never will. The entire purpose is to raise awareness around the unjust ways Black Americans are dealt with at the hands of the police (read: Princeton University's policing and incarceration statistics and data). You can also do your own research and hit up the FBI.gov website. The Hate Crimes section has helpful info pertaining to how much it really sucks to live in America if you're not white, such as:

Offenses by bias motivation within incidents (Based on Table 1.)

Of the 8,327 single-bias hate crime offenses reported in the above incidents:

• 59.5 percent stemmed from a race/ethnicity/ancestry bias.

Race/ethnicity/ancestry bias (Based on Table 1.)

In 2018, law enforcement agencies reported that 4,954 single-bias hate crime offenses were motivated by race/ethnicity/ancestry. Of these offenses:

• 46.9 percent were motivated by anti-Black or African American bias.

Supporting BLM doesn't make you anti-police. It simply means you are now awake to the fact that there are bad cops and they are, indeed, murdering Black Americans at alarming rates and getting away with it. It's also an awakening to the way police officers are trained and how they're protected by their unions. 

This is why defunding the police is a topic. If you don't get it, research your own city and how much money goes to the police department vs. how much goes to after school programs, social health and wellness programs, etc. Defunding the police means re-funding social services and taking items off of cops plates that they never should have had to deal with in the first place, like mental health situations. 

Also, being "not a racist" is entirely different than being anti-racist. Being anti-racist is the change our country needs. There are a myriad of excellent books, articles, documentaries, etc. on this topic by both Black and white leaders. The best thing you can do is support the Black leaders/voices/community, but I know for many of you that may not be where you are actually able to start your journey. Instead, start with the white leaders if you need to, like Jane Elliott. Then, go to Rachel Cargle or Austin Channing Brown (the list is long with excellent leaders and I encourage you to do your homework).

Last, but never least, check yourself. Harvard's Project Implicit bias tests help you understand your unconscious biases. We all have them, friends. They are deeply rooted in us. The first step to changing them is becoming aware of them.

Ultimately, we cannot just sit around and read books, watch documentaries, or post things on social media. We must make tangible differences. We need to donate to Black organizations, support Black businesses and leaders, promote our Black colleagues in the workplace, and protest injustices at every turn.

In the words of Glennon Doyle from her latest book, Untamed, she asks this question of herself and all of us white folks:

"I imagined myself to be the kind of white person who would have stood with Dr. King because I respect him now. Close to 90 percent of white Americans approve of Dr. King today. Yet, while he was alive and demanding change, only about 30 percent approved of him - the same rate of white Americans who approve of Colin Kaepernick today.

So if I want to know how I'd have felt about Dr. King back then, I can't ask myself how I feel about him now; instead, I have to ask myself: How do I feel about Kaepernick now? If I want to know how I'd have felt about the Freedom Riders back then, I can't ask myself how I feel about them now; instead, I have to ask myself: How do I feel about Black Lives Matter now?

If I want to know how I'd have shown up in the last civil rights era, I have to ask myself: How am I showing up today, in this civil rights era?"

_

The resources I note above are as close to neutral and fact checked data as you can get. All of them have the goal of providing unbiased data. Does that mean sometimes they make mistakes? Of course, they're run by humans and humans, by default, are mistake ridden. However, they do a great job of correcting mistakes when and if they find any.

The truth can be hard to uncover. In some cases, it will be obvious. In others, not at all. There will always be varying perspectives and it would serve you well to keep them all in mind, but...

...at the end of the day, if you are in the dark about the truth, it's because you've kept yourself there.

The Land Where Every Man is Free

I've been working on things I want to say. About Black Lives Matter. About holding ourselves accountable to finding the truth. About understanding that kindness isn't political, it's human. 

I'm still working on how I want to start that conversation, so in the meantime I want to share this poem by Langston Hughes. A poem that was written nearly 85 years ago and is still relevant today. 

If we'd been doing the work this whole time - the right kind of work - it wouldn't be.

Let America be America Again

Let America be America again.

Let it be the dream it used to be.

Let it be the pioneer on the plain

Seeking a home where he himself is free.

 

(America never was America to me.)

 

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed—

Let it be that great strong land of love

Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme

That any man be crushed by one above.

 

(It never was America to me.)

 

O, let my land be a land where Liberty

Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,

But opportunity is real, and life is free,

Equality is in the air we breathe.

 

(There's never been equality for me,

Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")

 

Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?

And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

 

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,

I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.

I am the red man driven from the land,

I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek—

And finding only the same old stupid plan

Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

 

I am the young man, full of strength and hope,

Tangled in that ancient endless chain

Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!

Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!

Of work the men! Of take the pay!

Of owning everything for one's own greed!

 

I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.

I am the worker sold to the machine.

I am the Negro, servant to you all.

I am the people, humble, hungry, mean—

Hungry yet today despite the dream.

Beaten yet today—O, Pioneers!

I am the man who never got ahead,

The poorest worker bartered through the years.

 

Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream

In the Old World while still a serf of kings,

Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,

That even yet its mighty daring sings

In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned

That's made America the land it has become.

O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas

In search of what I meant to be my home—

For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,

And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,

And torn from Black Africa's strand I came

To build a "homeland of the free."

 

The free?

 

Who said the free?  Not me?

Surely not me?  The millions on relief today?

The millions shot down when we strike?

The millions who have nothing for our pay?

For all the dreams we've dreamed

And all the songs we've sung

And all the hopes we've held

And all the flags we've hung,

The millions who have nothing for our pay—

Except the dream that's almost dead today.

 

O, let America be America again—

The land that never has been yet—

And yet must be—the land where every man is free.

The land that's mine—the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME—

Who made America,

Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,

Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,

Must bring back our mighty dream again.

 

Sure, call me any ugly name you choose—

The steel of freedom does not stain.

From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,

We must take back our land again,

America!

 

O, yes,

I say it plain,

America never was America to me,

And yet I swear this oath—

America will be!

 

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,

The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,

We, the people, must redeem

The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.

The mountains and the endless plain—

All, all the stretch of these great green states—

And make America again!

 - Langston Hughes

Originally published July1936

The Reflection of Shadows: Without You

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

Without You

In distance, we're light years apart,
But you - you're branded in my heart,
You're with me in my restless sleep
In cherished, haunted memories.

You're in the pieces left behind
Of this new puzzle of my life,
With missing pieces, missing peace -
Missing you here next to me.

When I break down, when I give up,
When tears come pouring flood by flood,
I'm drowning in this sea of blue;
When I lost you, I lost me, too.

I've prayed and pleaded Father Time
To pause, to stop, to hit rewind,
To let me have just one more day,
To let me try to change your fate.

Though life is short, these days are long,
And nothing numbs the endless raw,
Yet when I close my eyes to rest
Memories of you dance in my head.

Each memory a puzzle piece,
A precious moment I can keep,
A shard of hope / a dagger red -
Pieces of my heart in shreds.

And when the morn shall break anew,
I'll still be left here missing you -
I'll be here with a piece of you.
(A piece of me is in you, too.)

The Reflection of Shadows: Together Rising

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Elle Moss - Society6

Together Rising

The days are long,
The fears are great.
We've lost direction
But not the race.
This battle is long,
But victory can't wait -
Keep going, going -
Don't hesitate.

We've lost the prize,
The prize of time,
We've lost some hope,
But not the fight.
Our will is shaken
But not our might.
All together:
Together we rise.

8 Weeks Later: A Puppy Story

Hi Friends,

I know the world is a scary and uncertain place right now. Every day brings new information and new stories - both terrifying and uplifting. In an effort to help lift your spirits a little more, here's a happy little story about our newest family member, Bentley.
_

8 Weeks Later

Last March, we had to unexpectedly say goodbye to our sweet baby, Samson (also known as Bean to all of our friends and family). Losing my furry little man was one of the most painful experiences of my life; the grief was overwhelming. After all of the people I've lost, you'd think I'd be better at this, but no - this was a whole new type of pain.

After we lost Bean, something odd started happening. Anytime I needed to write the date numerically, I would accidentally turn my 3 into an 8. This happened over and over and over again. Pretty soon, all of my 3's were becoming 8's on everything, not just dates.

I, being the believer in "signs" that I am, tried to figure out what that meant. My assumption was something good was going to happen in August. A new puppy or three, perhaps?!? I had no idea what, but I was game for anything happy at that point.

To my surprise, almost 8 weeks later to the day, we found our new little man. Coincidence? Maybe. But for me, this was my sign.

Bentley, my little Tater Tot, is the complete opposite of Samson. It's exactly what our household needed, to be shaken up with a new personality.

Where Samson was all love, Bentley is all fight. He is fiery and destructive and yes, still a little lovable ball of cuddles. A little lovable destructor who, we're pretty sure, wants to rule (and possibly destroy) earth.

Samson hated being outside for long, he hated gravel, he hated nature for the most part. Bentley can't get enough of it. He loves everything about the outside and, if he could, would live in our backyard full time. He has made tunnels in our rose bushes, he scavenges for rocks, he leaps over things he's most definitely not supposed to leap over; he's the furry version of Bear Grylls.

Samson was loud and talkative his whole life. Bentley isn't much for barking or whining, but he loves to growl. He growls when he's happy, when he's hungry, when he's tired or scared or sleepy or playful or excited or... you get the idea. Growling is his language. He's also the handsy-est pup I've ever met. He loves putting his little paws on your face, all four if he can manage. He likes to tap you when he wants your attention and, mainly, he likes to gives kisses with one little paw on your cheek the whole time.

Samson's base setting was happy; he was all love, all day. He was easy to raise in almost all senses. Bentley has every emotion possible and is, therefore, more complex. One minute he is all joy and wiggles, the next he's resource guarding your lap because he doesn't want you to move. He is wicked smart, and that means he's also wicked stubborn. We've learned a lot this past year in puppy parenting.

Bentley has been a great addition to our family. While we now have three holes in random places in our carpet (thank goodness we held off on the new flooring!) we also have so much happiness in our home. He's my little Tater Tot. My Tiny Terror. My Baby Bojangles with his jingly jangly puppy legs, going all directions when he was first getting the grasp of running around.

We don't deserve animals. They're too good and pure and loving. But thank goodness we get to love them.

Maybe now that you're stuck at home for a while, you can get that pet you've always wanted. If you do, make sure you can give them a forever home. They deserve your love for their whole life, because you'll be their whole world for all of theirs.

4 weeks old - a tater tot!

Hanging with dad, my new BFF.

Mom teaching me about selfies.

This is how we eat. 

Sleepy.

The Nibbler! He started young.

My toys are too big for me.

My brother is a GIANT!

Hello!

Sleepy snuggles.

Where's Bentley?

More mom snuggles.

Being adorable.

Dreaming of toys.

And dreaming some more about toys.

This giant toy is my girlfriend, the caterpillar. I love her.

I (still) hate going for walks.

Wearing my Superman shirt.

Stealing socks.

Poser.

Mom is always taking pictures of me.

Visiting grandma, being adorable again. 

Tucked in for bed.

I love/hate bedtime.

Seeing if mom can come play.

Deciding I will make mom come play by hopping on her desk.

Watching my favorite TV show.

The Walking Dead is kinda scary!

And being adorable some more.