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| Society6 |
Hi Friends,
Since it's already January 4, I assume you've made or at least considered various resolutions/goals/things for 2021. If you're a Resolution Making Champion who meets every plan you set in place and never fails, this post isn't for you.
This is for those of us who fail.
Maybe you ended a bad relationship recently and you're struggling. Maybe you have an addiction that needs to be faced, but you keep lying to yourself that you're fine. Maybe you've already failed at one or more of your 2021 resolutions.
Maybe it feels like you're falling to pieces.
We've been trained to think that failing, falling short of our goals, or being unhappy is bad. Conversely, we've been taught that succeeding 100% of the time and always being happy is good.
Real life doesn't work that way.
Before my first marriage ended, I felt an unyielding sense of dread and despair. I knew it needed to end yet I couldn't bring myself to take that action. A fear of the unknown lurked around every corner. An overwhelming ache at the pain I would cause other people bore down on me so hard I couldn't, for a long time, take the necessary steps to my true and better life. I stayed married and I continued to fall apart, more and more every day until the universe - with all of its magical life altering ways - forced me to see the truth and take a leap of faith.
At first, it felt like I was free falling through air, not sure where or how or if I would land on my feet.
Eventually, the remaining shredded pieces of my life started to form into a new path, a new plan, a new future. A new foundation for me to rebuild my life on. While everything up to that point was painful and hard, I could never have learned all the very necessary life lessons I needed any other way, which were:
- Falling to pieces will, eventually, help you fall into the place you're meant to be.
- Failing will, eventually, teach you how to succeed.
- Being sad will, eventually, help you appreciate the lessons learned so that happiness can be more than an end-goal.
This pattern will repeat throughout your life because that's how life works. We learn best from struggle, not from ease - this is how we level up in life. Things falling to pieces eventually lead to things falling in place - as long as you keep trying; this is the only step you must always take.
One last thought before I leave you to your 2021 plans:
Two years ago I was in Japan during cherry blossom season. I was walking down The Philosopher's Path, taking in each and every glorious bloom. It was a cold, windy, rainy day. The cherry blossoms had started to fall from the trees and, in doing so, had created an incredible pink rain shower, covering the ground and river in petals galore. I can't imagine a more beautiful scene than the one that day where the trees were transitioning into their next season of life.
When cherry blossoms start to fall, we don't yell at them to fall a certain way. We don't tell them they're falling wrong. We don't try and super glue them back to the tree like psychopaths. We find the new beauty they've created, whether that be in the way they're strewn around us or in the achingly beautiful bare branches.
This is a grace we need to grant ourselves.
Fall when, how, and where you must. Fall into a new place, a new path, a new start. Fall out of what is no longer or never was meant for you. Fall into and out of whatever is necessary, over and over and over again.
I'll be right here, failing and falling along with you.
_
In other news...
My plan for 2021 is to shutter this site. I love writing, and I love you, but it's time for a fresh start. I've been (oh-so slowly) working on something new for all of us. Something fresh and still very familiar. This is why I've been (mostly) quiet on here. As soon as my plans come to fruition, I'll let you know where you can find me!
