Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.
Monday Mantra: Believe in what makes you happy
In those particular moments, I try and play off whatever awkward and clumsy thing I'm doing as if I had actually planned it out like that. Which just makes me look like even more of an idiot to the non-existent people who aren't actually paying attention. Mostly because then it makes me twice as paranoid that the audience is on to me trying to act cooler than I am, because I'm on to them. I'm sure this is what all healthy and sane adults think on their uncomfortable/awkward/bad hair days.
Outside of that - and with the hope that none of you will have me committed - I'll additionally admit this: Most of the time I like to think that I'm surrounded by a posse of guardian angels, all well equipped to handle whatever situation is at hand. Not just one guardian angel, but a whole crew for each and every weird situation I get myself into. I want each one to be specifically assigned as an expert on the dumb thing that's about to go down. I mean really, isn't your guardian angel supposed to be guarding you from everything? That's a lot of work for just one person, heavenly being or not. Therefore, with that amazing logic of mine, I need multiple ones that are Subject Matter Experts on the handout they all should have been given, aptly named "The Stupid and Awkward Things Melia Does on a Regular Basis." Like my incident yesterday.
I was walking out of Walgreens in the blistering 5000 degree Arizona heat and got into my car. As I'm about to buckle up, I look around and notice that something's off. There's a bag of fools gold in the cup holder and my rear view mirror now has a terrifying joker faced set of fuzzy dice staring at me. Most people would probably catch on immediately, but I like to think outside the box. I like to think outside of the bag, the envelope, and most other things, including common sense.
As I sit there, I decide that my car must've been at the hands of a carjacker just moments before I exited the store. I continue to assess the situation and can't grasp why someone would break into my car and then somewhat neatly arrange their junk in it before they were to flee the scene. I see one shoe on the passenger side and immediately assume they must have lost it when they spotted me and took off. Clearly me and all of my five feet and three inches in flip flops was a terrifying notion to have to brawl with. Several minutes later, in a rare moment of sanity, it dawns on me that I got into the wrong car.
I bolt from it and rush over to mine which, outside of the color, looks nothing like the one I was just in. Once it occurs to me that running makes me look even more like a criminal, I slow down. This is tragic, because the reason I slowed down was neither due to the heat nor the fact that I looked like a thief. More specifically, it was because I didn't want to look like a wimpy thief who just backed out of her first carjacking.
The good news is- I didn't get arrested. The bad news is- I need a new guardian angel to protect me from getting into the wrong car. I know for a fact that I have one designated to this specific task because this is not the first time I've done this. The first time it actually took me a lot longer to figure it out.
I'm going to pretend like this didn't happen, especially since that would be really embarrassing if all my viewers caught that episode yesterday. Hopefully the camera men take Sundays off.
Have you ever done anything embarrassing? Twice?
Twitter
Related PostsI'm going to pretend like this didn't happen, especially since that would be really embarrassing if all my viewers caught that episode yesterday. Hopefully the camera men take Sundays off.
Have you ever done anything embarrassing? Twice?
All is Forlorn for I've Lost My Mind
Falling Down Stairs and Kidnapping Friends
No comments:
Post a Comment