We Need To Talk: Seeking out facts and creating tangible change

Origins of photo unknown

Friends, 

There are things we need to talk about. Things you and I need to do differently so that we become better people, raise better people, support in government offices better people. It's not about sides; it's about facts. Finding them, knowing them, putting them to use for the good of humankind.

Let's get started.

Seek Out the Truth

It's 2020 and we have cars that can drive themselves, yet our media outlets run unchecked. Stop watching Fox News. Stop watching CNN. These are entertainment shows. They are not accredited news outlets because they can't be; there is no regulatory body within the U.S. government that monitors what they say, not even the FCC. The Federal Communications Commission has said themselves they don't police the content of these stations. 

Research the data you are being given by fact checked, neutral, fair and balanced networks. 

That information exists thanks to MediaMatters as well as AllSides, which has outlined a handy-dandy media bias chart. USE IT. Stop watching and reading resources from any of the outlets that fall on the far Left or Right, which are designed to feed you data that support only those agendas. Stay in the middle when you're seeking the truth. 

I will say this, however, if you want to better understand people who differ in opinions, read/watch the complete opposite of what you normally would: if you watch Fox, watch CNN, and vice versa. It'll help you understand, even more so, why accurate, neutral reporting is what we all need.

Peoples lives and livelihoods are literally depending on you doing your research and not relying on mainstream media - including social media - to trick you. Don't even get me started on the nonsense Facebook lets run wild (AKA Plandemic). Hold yourself accountable to fact checked, reliable sources like BBC, a globally recognized source for fair and accurate news reporting.

Become a Better Voter 

I don't care if you're a Republican or a Democrat. I do care that you don't get washed away in the lies each groups extremists put out for your consumption. I do care that you pay attention to the actual facts. 

Before we get to the 2020 election, test your knowledge. Challenge yourself. Understand how the voting system actually works (i.e. plurality votes). Understand that our two party system is archaic and goes against what our founding fathers had in mind. Learn about ranked-choice voting and why that's a far better option.

Then, fact check everything you think you know. For some of you, this will be an uncomfortable awakening. That's OK. Once you know better, do better. It's that simple. It's that simple because separating fact from fiction is what makes you a good American. Again, it is not about parties. You'll come to understand that in time.

PolitiFact checks all the things politics related. Click on Donald Trump and you'll find a myriad of lies. He's telling the truth ~14% of the time. He's telling you fake information or flat out lying ~50% of the time. Everything in between that is a half truth. In comparison with his 2016 presidential competition, Hillary Clinton is telling you false information ~13% of the time.

Click on Joe Biden and you'll find he's sharing mostly true to entirely true info ~35% of the time. Bernie Sanders is the most honest of the bunch with literally 0% of incidences where he fits the "pants on fire" category. (Note: These stats are as of when I first wrote this and are subject to change based on updated fact checking.)

Another resource I highly recommend is FactCheck. You will be shocked and upset and sometimes happy, but you'll have the facts. 

For everyone who is currently a Trump supporter: if you want to talk about his accomplishments while in office, also know which ones rolled over from the Obama Administration (this happens all the time with every presidency - learn about it), which ones are truly his, and what he's failed at. This article from Business Insider will help. It's from December 2019, before COVID and the racial inequality protests began. It is from a neutral based media outlet (as shown on AllSides). It is not far Left or Right; it is exactly the type of material all of us should be seeking. 

Even if you land where you did originally after all of your fact checking in wanting to vote for him and/or supporting him, you'll have done the legwork to better understand others viewpoints.

On that note: don't delete your friends who have opposing political views. It's good to have a diverse friend group. Talk to them about their various opinions. Understand why they feel the way they feel. This is how we come together. This is how we bridge the divide.

Make Choices for Humankind Collectively

Here, I want to talk about something very specific and relevant to today: the issues surrounding inequality as they pertain to the Black community. This, again, is not about parties. This is about facts and taking care of one another. 

To my friends who are white and who are, in particular, struggling with this concept: I get how uncomfortable you are and how confusing white privilege is when you aren't wealthy, when you've wondered how to pay your bills, when taxes eat away at your paycheck. White privilege is older than any of us alive today. It goes back so far we don't even know how to contemplate it correctly in this day and age because it's been around that long.

All you have to do is simple: acknowledge that it exists. Then, do better as a human going forward.

The facts are these if you're white: You've never been pulled over by the police because of your skin color. You've never gone to the grocery store and found anything less than a gazillion hair care options.

That's it. Do you see? It's the simple, small, everyday ways we walk around in this world that Black people and people of color collectively do not have the privilege of doing carelessly like we do.

Also, for the gazillionth time: Black Lives Matter does not mean only Black lives matter. It doesn't mean the lives of any other person, including police officers, matter less. That is never what it meant. It never will. The entire purpose is to raise awareness around the unjust ways Black Americans are dealt with at the hands of the police (read: Princeton University's policing and incarceration statistics and data). You can also do your own research and hit up the FBI.gov website. The Hate Crimes section has helpful info pertaining to how much it really sucks to live in America if you're not white, such as:

Offenses by bias motivation within incidents (Based on Table 1.)

Of the 8,327 single-bias hate crime offenses reported in the above incidents:

• 59.5 percent stemmed from a race/ethnicity/ancestry bias.

Race/ethnicity/ancestry bias (Based on Table 1.)

In 2018, law enforcement agencies reported that 4,954 single-bias hate crime offenses were motivated by race/ethnicity/ancestry. Of these offenses:

• 46.9 percent were motivated by anti-Black or African American bias.

Supporting BLM doesn't make you anti-police. It simply means you are now awake to the fact that there are bad cops and they are, indeed, murdering Black Americans at alarming rates and getting away with it. It's also an awakening to the way police officers are trained and how they're protected by their unions. 

This is why defunding the police is a topic. If you don't get it, research your own city and how much money goes to the police department vs. how much goes to after school programs, social health and wellness programs, etc. Defunding the police means re-funding social services and taking items off of cops plates that they never should have had to deal with in the first place, like mental health situations. 

Also, being "not a racist" is entirely different than being anti-racist. Being anti-racist is the change our country needs. There are a myriad of excellent books, articles, documentaries, etc. on this topic by both Black and white leaders. The best thing you can do is support the Black leaders/voices/community, but I know for many of you that may not be where you are actually able to start your journey. Instead, start with the white leaders if you need to, like Jane Elliott. Then, go to Rachel Cargle or Austin Channing Brown (the list is long with excellent leaders and I encourage you to do your homework).

Last, but never least, check yourself. Harvard's Project Implicit bias tests help you understand your unconscious biases. We all have them, friends. They are deeply rooted in us. The first step to changing them is becoming aware of them.

Ultimately, we cannot just sit around and read books, watch documentaries, or post things on social media. We must make tangible differences. We need to donate to Black organizations, support Black businesses and leaders, promote our Black colleagues in the workplace, and protest injustices at every turn.

In the words of Glennon Doyle from her latest book, Untamed, she asks this question of herself and all of us white folks:

"I imagined myself to be the kind of white person who would have stood with Dr. King because I respect him now. Close to 90 percent of white Americans approve of Dr. King today. Yet, while he was alive and demanding change, only about 30 percent approved of him - the same rate of white Americans who approve of Colin Kaepernick today.

So if I want to know how I'd have felt about Dr. King back then, I can't ask myself how I feel about him now; instead, I have to ask myself: How do I feel about Kaepernick now? If I want to know how I'd have felt about the Freedom Riders back then, I can't ask myself how I feel about them now; instead, I have to ask myself: How do I feel about Black Lives Matter now?

If I want to know how I'd have shown up in the last civil rights era, I have to ask myself: How am I showing up today, in this civil rights era?"

_

The resources I note above are as close to neutral and fact checked data as you can get. All of them have the goal of providing unbiased data. Does that mean sometimes they make mistakes? Of course, they're run by humans and humans, by default, are mistake ridden. However, they do a great job of correcting mistakes when and if they find any.

The truth can be hard to uncover. In some cases, it will be obvious. In others, not at all. There will always be varying perspectives and it would serve you well to keep them all in mind, but...

...at the end of the day, if you are in the dark about the truth, it's because you've kept yourself there.

The Land Where Every Man is Free

I've been working on things I want to say. About Black Lives Matter. About holding ourselves accountable to finding the truth. About understanding that kindness isn't political, it's human. 

I'm still working on how I want to start that conversation, so in the meantime I want to share this poem by Langston Hughes. A poem that was written nearly 85 years ago and is still relevant today. 

If we'd been doing the work this whole time - the right kind of work - it wouldn't be.

Let America be America Again

Let America be America again.

Let it be the dream it used to be.

Let it be the pioneer on the plain

Seeking a home where he himself is free.

 

(America never was America to me.)

 

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed—

Let it be that great strong land of love

Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme

That any man be crushed by one above.

 

(It never was America to me.)

 

O, let my land be a land where Liberty

Is crowned with no false patriotic wreath,

But opportunity is real, and life is free,

Equality is in the air we breathe.

 

(There's never been equality for me,

Nor freedom in this "homeland of the free.")

 

Say, who are you that mumbles in the dark?

And who are you that draws your veil across the stars?

 

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,

I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.

I am the red man driven from the land,

I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek—

And finding only the same old stupid plan

Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

 

I am the young man, full of strength and hope,

Tangled in that ancient endless chain

Of profit, power, gain, of grab the land!

Of grab the gold! Of grab the ways of satisfying need!

Of work the men! Of take the pay!

Of owning everything for one's own greed!

 

I am the farmer, bondsman to the soil.

I am the worker sold to the machine.

I am the Negro, servant to you all.

I am the people, humble, hungry, mean—

Hungry yet today despite the dream.

Beaten yet today—O, Pioneers!

I am the man who never got ahead,

The poorest worker bartered through the years.

 

Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream

In the Old World while still a serf of kings,

Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,

That even yet its mighty daring sings

In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned

That's made America the land it has become.

O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas

In search of what I meant to be my home—

For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,

And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,

And torn from Black Africa's strand I came

To build a "homeland of the free."

 

The free?

 

Who said the free?  Not me?

Surely not me?  The millions on relief today?

The millions shot down when we strike?

The millions who have nothing for our pay?

For all the dreams we've dreamed

And all the songs we've sung

And all the hopes we've held

And all the flags we've hung,

The millions who have nothing for our pay—

Except the dream that's almost dead today.

 

O, let America be America again—

The land that never has been yet—

And yet must be—the land where every man is free.

The land that's mine—the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's, ME—

Who made America,

Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,

Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,

Must bring back our mighty dream again.

 

Sure, call me any ugly name you choose—

The steel of freedom does not stain.

From those who live like leeches on the people's lives,

We must take back our land again,

America!

 

O, yes,

I say it plain,

America never was America to me,

And yet I swear this oath—

America will be!

 

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,

The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,

We, the people, must redeem

The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.

The mountains and the endless plain—

All, all the stretch of these great green states—

And make America again!

 - Langston Hughes

Originally published July1936

The Reflection of Shadows: Without You

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

Without You

In distance, we're light years apart,
But you - you're branded in my heart,
You're with me in my restless sleep
In cherished, haunted memories.

You're in the pieces left behind
Of this new puzzle of my life,
With missing pieces, missing peace -
Missing you here next to me.

When I break down, when I give up,
When tears come pouring flood by flood,
I'm drowning in this sea of blue;
When I lost you, I lost me, too.

I've prayed and pleaded Father Time
To pause, to stop, to hit rewind,
To let me have just one more day,
To let me try to change your fate.

Though life is short, these days are long,
And nothing numbs the endless raw,
Yet when I close my eyes to rest
Memories of you dance in my head.

Each memory a puzzle piece,
A precious moment I can keep,
A shard of hope / a dagger red -
Pieces of my heart in shreds.

And when the morn shall break anew,
I'll still be left here missing you -
I'll be here with a piece of you.
(A piece of me is in you, too.)

The Reflection of Shadows: Together Rising

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Elle Moss - Society6

Together Rising

The days are long,
The fears are great.
We've lost direction
But not the race.
This battle is long,
But victory can't wait -
Keep going, going -
Don't hesitate.

We've lost the prize,
The prize of time,
We've lost some hope,
But not the fight.
Our will is shaken
But not our might.
All together:
Together we rise.

8 Weeks Later: A Puppy Story

Hi Friends,

I know the world is a scary and uncertain place right now. Every day brings new information and new stories - both terrifying and uplifting. In an effort to help lift your spirits a little more, here's a happy little story about our newest family member, Bentley.
_

8 Weeks Later

Last March, we had to unexpectedly say goodbye to our sweet baby, Samson (also known as Bean to all of our friends and family). Losing my furry little man was one of the most painful experiences of my life; the grief was overwhelming. After all of the people I've lost, you'd think I'd be better at this, but no - this was a whole new type of pain.

After we lost Bean, something odd started happening. Anytime I needed to write the date numerically, I would accidentally turn my 3 into an 8. This happened over and over and over again. Pretty soon, all of my 3's were becoming 8's on everything, not just dates.

I, being the believer in "signs" that I am, tried to figure out what that meant. My assumption was something good was going to happen in August. A new puppy or three, perhaps?!? I had no idea what, but I was game for anything happy at that point.

To my surprise, almost 8 weeks later to the day, we found our new little man. Coincidence? Maybe. But for me, this was my sign.

Bentley, my little Tater Tot, is the complete opposite of Samson. It's exactly what our household needed, to be shaken up with a new personality.

Where Samson was all love, Bentley is all fight. He is fiery and destructive and yes, still a little lovable ball of cuddles. A little lovable destructor who, we're pretty sure, wants to rule (and possibly destroy) earth.

Samson hated being outside for long, he hated gravel, he hated nature for the most part. Bentley can't get enough of it. He loves everything about the outside and, if he could, would live in our backyard full time. He has made tunnels in our rose bushes, he scavenges for rocks, he leaps over things he's most definitely not supposed to leap over; he's the furry version of Bear Grylls.

Samson was loud and talkative his whole life. Bentley isn't much for barking or whining, but he loves to growl. He growls when he's happy, when he's hungry, when he's tired or scared or sleepy or playful or excited or... you get the idea. Growling is his language. He's also the handsy-est pup I've ever met. He loves putting his little paws on your face, all four if he can manage. He likes to tap you when he wants your attention and, mainly, he likes to gives kisses with one little paw on your cheek the whole time.

Samson's base setting was happy; he was all love, all day. He was easy to raise in almost all senses. Bentley has every emotion possible and is, therefore, more complex. One minute he is all joy and wiggles, the next he's resource guarding your lap because he doesn't want you to move. He is wicked smart, and that means he's also wicked stubborn. We've learned a lot this past year in puppy parenting.

Bentley has been a great addition to our family. While we now have three holes in random places in our carpet (thank goodness we held off on the new flooring!) we also have so much happiness in our home. He's my little Tater Tot. My Tiny Terror. My Baby Bojangles with his jingly jangly puppy legs, going all directions when he was first getting the grasp of running around.

We don't deserve animals. They're too good and pure and loving. But thank goodness we get to love them.

Maybe now that you're stuck at home for a while, you can get that pet you've always wanted. If you do, make sure you can give them a forever home. They deserve your love for their whole life, because you'll be their whole world for all of theirs.

4 weeks old - a tater tot!

Hanging with dad, my new BFF.

Mom teaching me about selfies.

This is how we eat. 

Sleepy.

The Nibbler! He started young.

My toys are too big for me.

My brother is a GIANT!

Hello!

Sleepy snuggles.

Where's Bentley?

More mom snuggles.

Being adorable.

Dreaming of toys.

And dreaming some more about toys.

This giant toy is my girlfriend, the caterpillar. I love her.

I (still) hate going for walks.

Wearing my Superman shirt.

Stealing socks.

Poser.

Mom is always taking pictures of me.

Visiting grandma, being adorable again. 

Tucked in for bed.

I love/hate bedtime.

Seeing if mom can come play.

Deciding I will make mom come play by hopping on her desk.

Watching my favorite TV show.

The Walking Dead is kinda scary!

And being adorable some more.

Learning to be OK with things not being OK

Last year, if you were to have asked me how I was, I would probably have lied and told you I was fine. I would do the thing people expect when they ask how you're doing; give the simple "Great!" answer to the question so the conversation can move along with ease.

What I would've wanted to say, really and truthfully and yes, as awkwardly as it might be in the moment, is that things suck and, oh yeah, 2019 could go straight to hell. I would've wanted to tell you that the universe had decided that was the year to throw all the hard things at me; to set my life ablaze in the most spectacular fashion of stress, loss, exhaustion, illness, and literal fire.

My list of "why everything sucked last year" isn't what I want to talk about today. I don't want to tally all the ugly and hard and painful as a ploy for sympathy. Everyone has ugly and hard and painful in their lives. My pain doesn't make me special; it makes me human. And that's the part I want to talk about; being a human who went through those things and came out on the other side better, stronger, wiser, and yes, happier.

Phase 1: I like to call this...

 - The Dark 
 - The Infinite Ugh, the Never ending Sigh
 - And That Time in Life When Ice Cream is the Answer to Everything

When you're tired and broken and burned out, everything is more difficult. Life requires more out of you than you're capable of giving because you're depleted. Little stresses suddenly feel gigantic and earth shattering. Everyday things like grocery shopping seem absolutely impossible. People you know and love can become too much to handle. Almost everything requires more energy than you have to provide. Existing, in and of itself, is exhausting.

And when you're going through all of this, it's easy to get in a state of anger, frustration, and sadness. Complaining, pfft - that's even better, because right now everything in your immediate world sucks and there's nothing not to complain about, right? I feel you 100%.

This is the dark, the trenches, the time for lessons.

This is something Life will occasionally require from you, for you, so that you can become the best version possible of yourself.

Phase 2: I like to call this...

 - The Light
 - The Ah-ha's and Okay's
 - The "Enlightenment is the Answer to Everything" stage

For me, healing last year was not speedy; I was not speedy. I was not convenient. I sulked and screamed and cried and vented. And finally (finally!) made it through to the other side. In fact, if I'm being honest, I tried writing this post months ago, when I still still in the midst of my emotions, but I couldn't. I just could not.

I can now because I made it to the light; I'm back living in the light, to be more specific.

Here is what I know:

Sometimes, in the midst of your own personal wildfire, all you can do is burn. Later, comes the healing. Later comes the growth.

The pushback, the anger, the sadness, the fury at the situations that you keep being thrust into do nothing. The universe doesn't shy away at your anger. It continues, day in and day out. It persists while you resist - and the only loser is you. A lesson that has to be learned is taught, one way or another. Some of us are slow learners. I certainly am.

Last year, I was all of those things, and you better believe I resisted all those lessons like my life depended on it, because that was how it felt. I fought back against the wildfires of my life with anger and tears, all the while not realizing that my only option was to burn. To become ash and soot and start over again. That the harder I fought, the slower the lessons would come, the more painful the blaze.

Friends, it's OK to not be OK.

If that's where you are right now, be there. Feel this place you're in. I mean it - feel it like a blanket wrapped around you. Not one of those soft, cozy ones either. You don't feel soft and cozy, do you? No, no you do not. Feel it like it is. Like one of those annoying scratchy mo-fo's that feels the way nails sound on a chalkboard. (You just cringed, I know you did. Now you're getting it.)

Lean into the pain. Lean in hard, like you're back at the playground waiting for the opposing line of kids to send your specified Red Rover over, who's trying to break through your grasp. In this scenario, however, you are the red rover and you are the lines of hands, all clasped together. You are both fighting to hold on to what you know and struggling to get past the discomfort of change. But which is right?

In this case, neither.

In this game of Red Rover, you win by stopping and by letting go of your grip. You win by standing still and embracing what is instead of what is not. You win by allowing the wind to direct your course, much the way it directs a fire in the wild. You win by feeling all the feelings and not running from them, not forcing them to change. You win because you embrace them, thus learning from them.

I used a lot of metaphors today, so I'm gonna go ahead and call it a day. I think you get the picture.

I hope your 2020 is incredible. I hope you have nothing but happiness and success. But if you're struggling or if you don't quite feel the way you would like, just know you're not alone. You are strong and you will make it through whatever life throws your way.

I believe in you. Believe in yourself, too.

Progress is a Path, Not a Destination

Pinterest

Character Development

Progress is dancing to the same song I used to cry to.

- Flux by Orion Carloto

This past year was not a kind one, not an easy one, not a pleasure. It was painful and abrupt, at times; exhausting and never-ending at others. It was too slow, yet too fast. It was rough and rocky around the edges, painful to the touch more often than not. And even though there was beauty and joy intermingled in the ugliness, it wasn't quite enough to outweigh all the heaviness.

If 2019 had been a person, it would've been some dark god, some ominous higher power that zipped and zapped whoever it wanted, whenever it wanted, cursing them with a flick of its wrist.

That's how it felt to me, and to many of my friends who also had some of the roughest times of their lives these past twelve months.

This year has been a struggle - and I am not sad to see it go. While I know the turning of a calendar page doesn't actually change anything, there is unbridled hope in the thought that 2020 might be, can be, has to be a better year.

My last blog post was in June. If you're a long time reader, you'll know I've never taken this long of a writing break. I've never even taken an unannounced break because this little tiny blog is a passion project for me. What I've discovered is that everything must come to a halt sometimes, even the things you're truly, deeply passionate about, when healing is your number one priority.

No matter my love for the written (or typed) word, I couldn't muster the creativity to write. For a while, this lack of being able to craft something was yet one more thing that bothered me, one more worry, one more concern, piled on top of all the other things I was trying to face.

But what I've learned, and am still learning, is this:

Progress is a path, not a destination.

Healing doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen in days or weeks or even months, sometimes.

Healing happens in its own time.

Do all the things you need to do: Go to therapy. Cry. Scream. Get angry. But don't rush the process. Dig your heels in and say, "No, Life, I want this over with and I want it over with now!" and I guarantee you Life will dig its heels in even harder and add on a couple lessons about patience, thus extending your healing process.

The same logic applies to goals or, shall we say at this special time of year, resolutions. Whatever you're setting your heart to accomplish in 2020, remember:

Progress is a path, not a destination.

Give yourself time. If you make a mistake or fall short of your target, get back up and keep on walking that path. Everything you need to learn and achieve can and will happen when you put one foot in front of the other and keep on going.

You've got this, friends. I believe in you.

Farewell, 2019.

You taught me a lot. About life, about myself. About the grace in falling apart, the serenity in letting the pieces land where they may, and the peace in letting go.

I'm letting go of you.

Here's to 2020, a new year of possibilities. Come what may.

The Question Series: Purpose and Meaning

What's the point to all of this?

The Question Series

Society6
Catarina Garcia Artist

My Friends,

Lately, I've had more questions than answers. More wonderings than certainty. More doubts. However, the one thing I know (when I know nothing else) is that there's at least one other person out there somewhere going through the same thing I am. Wondering and questioning and hoping they're not alone in their thoughts.

They're not. I'm not.

Let's ponder these questions together.
_

Life can feel really hopeless at times. It can feel confusing and overwhelming and down right pointless.

I was on a tour bus not that long ago, driving down the beautiful Great Ocean Road in Melbourne, Australia. The Great Ocean Road is a giant stretch of land that is purely, sinfully gorgeous. The ocean views, the wildlife, the landscape - all of it breathtaking. All of it seemingly meaningful. It was a long day, so I had plenty of time to look out the window and think all the thoughts one could possibly think. It's both a wonderful and terrible thing to do, thinking.

Consider for a moment one of the smallest of creatures, yet one of the most vital: the bee. They pollinate the plants which in turn give life to us, to our crops, to other animals that live off the vegetation, like the antelope. The antelope, who is the lion's dinner, and the lion who helps keep the population in check. Who, although king of the animals, will one day perish and turn to dust and thus, return to the earth providing nutrients where a new plant will grow for a new bee to pollinate.

A perfect circle of life.

Nature's purpose is clear and defined and connected.

The purpose of human beings, on the other hand, is far more complicated.

We build great things, achieve unbelievable feats, and collectively, as a race, we've done some awesome stuff. But individually, with so many of us now on the planet, it can be hard to look around and really know why you're here and what you're meant to do. Are you destined to be a farmer who grows crops to provide food for others? Or a scientist who solves the mystery of black holes? Or maybe you're purpose is to raise a child that will one day grow up to change the world in some significant way? The possibilities are endless.

The possibilities can feel overwhelming.

And lonely.

And devastating, especially if you've spent time chasing something that never comes to fruition.

Have you ever seen someone and thought, 'That person is doing exactly what they were placed on this earth to do'? It's rare, I think, and I've only see it a handful of times where in my gut I honestly felt that knowledge rise up and nod in acknowledgement of the force in front of me. Take Christina Aguilera, for example, whose voice is other worldly. She was meant to be a singer, through and through. She might also be a great friend and mother and joke teller, but her voice is a clear gift to the world.

The other challenge we face in finding our place on this big blue orb is the sheer volume of our species. Back in the day (and I mean way back) there were only so many humans. Therefore, it was far more likely that each person contributed to society in a way that really felt meaningful at the end of each and every single day. Everyone had something they were good at or that benefited others, so it was easier to stand out for whatever skill or craft you brought to the table.

But now? Now there are billions of us. Standing out among the masses is much, much harder. Knowing your skill or craft or purpose is seemingly impossible. Purpose; an intangible idea we chase. Some people are lucky. They know exactly who they are and what they're meant to do. For most of us, though, we are continually on the hunt, constantly in search of an answer to our reason for existence.

Maybe humans, collectively, are meant to love. Maybe our purpose is to perfect the art of loving one another. Maybe it's kindness; maybe we're supposed to keep trying trying trying until we perfect the act of kindness.

Or maybe each and every one of us does have a purpose that may simply not be clear in the moment. Maybe our purposes are all connected together like puzzle pieces. In the bigger picture view, everything we're doing could be vital. Absolutely essential. However, because life is long and things take a while to come to fruition, we may rarely, if ever, get to see the full and complete puzzle.

For instance, let's say you're the best animal care giver in the world. Maybe you raised a puppy that, in turn, a veteran adopted that then brought him or her so much joy. Joy they never thought they could feel again. And maybe, because of their new found joy, they ventured out and found love. They went on to get married and have a child, and that child went on to learn piano, which in turn led them to create one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever heard. This child went on to become a master pianist bringing happiness to all who listened to their music; animal care givers and veterans alike. All because you took care of a puppy that brought joy and hope to a person who needed it. Full circle. Puzzle complete. All because of you.

It's hard to say what we're here to do. I don't even know this for myself. But I do believe we owe it to ourselves, and maybe the universe, to try...something. Anything. To dream and reach and stretch so far we feel like we might break, but to do it anyway because the "something" we're chasing makes us feel alive, brings us joy, and helps us reside in the knowledge that we matter.

Because we do. You matter. I matter.

We matter.