Sunday, March 6, 2022

Re-post: The Uprising

We, the people, will not stand down, stand back, or stand by. 

In honor of Ukraine...


The Reflection of Shadows: The Uprising

The Reflection of Shadows
A collection of moments
Society6

The Uprising
(written to a tune)

Were you unaware
Of the feelings rising?
Were you unaware
Of the tired wait?

Were you unaware
Of all your missteps,
Being tracked and watched
And held for bait?

Were you unaware
That we were coming?
That we were done
Doing nothing.

Let me make this clear:
We're coming for you, dear.

Do you feel regret
For all your actions?
Do you feel regret
For your bad deeds?

Do you feel regret
Remorse awakening?
Or are you living
In denial's dream?

Do you feel regret
For lives unfurled,
For broken hopes
And dreams you murdered?

You will not forget:
We'll hold you to this debt.

Did you play the fool
For too long, darling?
Did you play the fool
To win the game?

Did you play the fool
To keep on bribing,
Keep them thinking
You were safe and tame?

Did you play the fool
To your advantage,
Or did you get lost
In your bad habits?

We outnumber you:
We're coming for the fools.

Thursday, February 17, 2022

The Reflection of Shadows: Next

 The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments
Next

Trembling with thoughts gone spiraling, 
Wondering if my head's lying, 
Believing that my heart is true - 
My next decision is for you.

Decades passed and hopes have flattened, 
Time has shown a steady pattern, 
Broken promises - and new - 
My next actions are for you.

Worth the cost; the loss is worse
In missing out on every first, 
A life adjusted, life renewed - 
My next life begins with you.

There'll be no dealing, no cascading
Waterfall of bargains, failing, 
Each temptation fades from view -
All my nexts belong to you.







Monday, December 13, 2021

It's been a while...




Hello Friends - I'm back. 

2021 both did and didn't turn out as expected. For instance, I did not get my new website anywhere near where I wanted it to be (as noted in my last post) but I did have a major life event as I'd hoped; my husband and I welcomed a baby girl into the world. 

This year has been both long and short, energizing and exhausting, bizarre and beautiful, surprising and completely expected - all at the same time. So for now, and when time permits, I'm back to this blog and new thoughts that are, of course, spurred on by my transition from Dog Mom to Human Mom and, as always, the endless amount of things happening in the world.

And since I've had almost a whole year full of all kinds of thoughts and no writing, well...get ready. 

I have a lot to say.

For tonight, I have anywhere from 1 hour to 5 mins until baby girl wakes up for her hobbit-like second dinner, so let me leave you with a few parting thoughts from all of my endless thinking this year.

 
Humans are Flawed Beings

Some of us make mistakes. Some of us are intentionally malicious. Some of us simply do not know better. It's what we do after - when we've made the mistake, done the bad thing,  unknowingly made an error - that defines our character. 

Mistake makers and folks who don't know better until they know better are not the problem. Humans are flawed beings; it's how we all learn and grow. We fail, we try again, we succeed.

It's the people who are intentionally malicious, intentionally slanderous, intentionally evil and conniving and cruel - their time is up. 

This world is changing and there is absolutely no room for that kind of behavior - make no mistake. 

If there's one thing I've seen over this past year it's that there are far, far more good people in this world than evil doers and the good people are coming together to actively initiate change. 

We are not sitting on the sidelines. We are not keeping our mouths shut. We are not putting up with anything less than kindness, goodness, respect. We will not allow our boundaries, our trust, our lives to be broken - we will fight back at each and every turn, no matter how long or exhausting the battle. And we aren't selfishly fighting for ourselves, we're fighting for one another. 

We are the largest army in existence and we cannot be stopped.


Monday, January 4, 2021

One Last Monday Mantra: Falling to Pieces, Falling into Place

Society6

 Hi Friends, 

Since it's already January 4, I assume you've made or at least considered various resolutions/goals/things for 2021. If you're a Resolution Making Champion who meets every plan you set in place and never fails, this post isn't for you. 

This is for those of us who fail.

Maybe you ended a bad relationship recently and you're struggling. Maybe you have an addiction that needs to be faced, but you keep lying to yourself that you're fine. Maybe you've already failed at one or more of your 2021 resolutions. 

Maybe it feels like you're falling to pieces. 

We've been trained to think that failing, falling short of our goals, or being unhappy is bad. Conversely, we've been taught that succeeding 100% of the time and always being happy is good.

Real life doesn't work that way. 

Before my first marriage ended, I felt an unyielding sense of dread and despair. I knew it needed to end yet I couldn't bring myself to take that action. A fear of the unknown lurked around every corner. An overwhelming ache at the pain I would cause other people bore down on me so hard I couldn't, for a long time, take the necessary steps to my true and better life. I stayed married and I continued to fall apart, more and more every day until the universe - with all of its magical life altering ways - forced me to see the truth and take a leap of faith.

At first, it felt like I was free falling through air, not sure where or how or if I would land on my feet. 

Eventually, the remaining shredded pieces of my life started to form into a new path, a new plan, a new future. A new foundation for me to rebuild my life on. While everything up to that point was painful and hard, I could never have learned all the very necessary life lessons I needed any other way, which were:

 - Falling to pieces will, eventually, help you fall into the place you're meant to be. 

 - Failing will, eventually, teach you how to succeed. 

 - Being sad will, eventually, help you appreciate the lessons learned so that happiness can be more than an end-goal.

This pattern will repeat throughout your life because that's how life works. We learn best from struggle, not from ease - this is how we level up in life. Things falling to pieces eventually lead to things falling in place - as long as you keep trying; this is the only step you must always take.

One last thought before I leave you to your 2021 plans:

Two years ago I was in Japan during cherry blossom season. I was walking down The Philosopher's Path, taking in each and every glorious bloom. It was a cold, windy, rainy day. The cherry blossoms had started to fall from the trees and, in doing so, had created an incredible pink rain shower, covering the ground and river in petals galore. I can't imagine a more beautiful scene than the one that day where the trees were transitioning into their next season of life. 

When cherry blossoms start to fall, we don't yell at them to fall a certain way. We don't tell them they're falling wrong. We don't try and super glue them back to the tree like psychopaths. We find the new beauty they've created, whether that be in the way they're strewn around us or in the achingly beautiful bare branches. 

This is a grace we need to grant ourselves. 

Fall when, how, and where you must. Fall into a new place, a new path, a new start. Fall out of what is no longer or never was meant for you. Fall into and out of whatever is necessary, over and over and over again. 

I'll be right here, failing and falling along with you. 

_

In other news...

My plan for 2021 is to shutter this site. I love writing, and I love you, but it's time for a fresh start. I've been (oh-so slowly) working on something new for all of us. Something fresh and still very familiar. This is why I've been (mostly) quiet on here. As soon as my plans come to fruition, I'll let you know where you can find me!


Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Root and Branch

Photo credit: Spotebi
 

I've spent the last four years digging. 

I've been trying to understand Trump supporters, both the hard core ones and the every day folks. Not because of party affiliations or because I believe one side is better than the other, but because I don't understand their thought processes. How does one look past all the insurmountable flaws, lies, scams, and deceit and still see a leader of value? To my mind, this kind of thinking is illogical and dangerous, which is why I've been doing my homework.

I've been trying to understand the flaws in our political system, our media, how the two combined to create this current disaster, and the opportunities for improvement. I've spent an enormous amount of time learning and the most shocking thing I've unearthed is how many people gave up or never even attempted to educate themselves, understand, or get the facts.

But, I also understand. Growing is painful. Learning truths that go against what you thought you knew is confusing. Realizing you were wrong is extremely uncomfortable. 

It's also what good humans do, regardless. 

Avoiding all of the above only leads to terrible outcomes, like with the rise of Nazis or with the Milgram Experiment on obedience and authority figures.

I recently saw an excerpt that summed up the difference between Trump and Biden supporters in terms of how their various leadership styles and ideologies make people feel. If I could find the original, I'd repost it here, but it went something like this:

Trump supporters see a leader who embodies the notion of freedom; a freedom to be whoever you want and do whatever you want without care or consequences. His model tells people, literally, that you can do bad things without being caught or held accountable. He is the epitome of easy freedom.

Biden, on the other hand, says bend the knee. He says we have problems in our country and we need to solve them, put in the hard work. He says we need to apologize for our past mistakes and work harder to be better. He says we've been wrong. His model tells people we are not perfect, we have a long way to go, and that we need to acknowledge our faults. This is a stance that makes people uncomfortable. Being challenged and told you're wrong isn't pleasant or welcomed.

Here's the thing: America isn't perfect; it never was.

One thing humans are terrible at is attaching ourselves to notions and ideas. Those notions and ideas have roots that go deep. Even after we learn that some of our ideas are wrong, we struggle to accept those facts. It challenges us in ways we don't want to be challenged. It requires apologies and hard work and a jab at our egos to do the root removal - so we don't. 

Instead, we try to bury them. We shovel mound after mound of dirt over the roots in an effort to conceal their existence. In an effort to move on and not have to think about them, not have to do the hard work. We take the easy way out every opportunity we can.

But things with roots grow. 

They don't stay hidden. They don't die out. They find their way to the surface; they persevere in the face of our denial of their existence.

The only way to change and truly move forward is to roll up our sleeves and pull those old/bad/wrong ideas and notions out, root and branch. 

We cannot bypass the hard work. 

Willful negligence and denial will get all of us nowhere dangerously fast.


Fear is the enemy of freedom. Don't contribute to it; remove it.

_


Here's what I bluntly want to leave you with as we close out this insane chapter in America in hopes that we all, collectively, work together for the better:


 - Party loyalty is dangerous; loyalty to humankind is better.

Each side wants you to be loyal so they can do whatever the hell they want without you truly paying attention. Don't be a willing pawn in their game; do your homework. 

I voted for Biden. That doesn't mean I think he's perfect, nor that I think all his previous decisions were perfect. It also, and most importantly, doesn't mean I will trust every single thing he says or be pleased with his actions at all times.

I am not loyal to him; I am loyal to humanity. I want what is best for all of us, not some of us. I will always vote in favor of humanity, not in favor of a particular party.

I will not run around with a flag on my car or a hat with his logo on it because, honestly, that's weird. He's not a rock star or a brand; he's the leader of our country. He will make mistakes. I will not overlook them and deny them. I will search out facts and I will trust the experts.

In four more years, I will vote accordingly and I will put a hell of a lot of effort into that vote. I hope you do, too.


 - Don't use your religion (or personal preferences) as a weapon against others.

I say this as someone who grew up in an extremely religious family, who loved going to church every week, and who was super close to her pastor's family. I understand, better than most, the bible. My grandfather was a minister. I have studied a variety of religions to better understand them and here's what I know: each group thinks they're right and everyone else is wrong, which is impossible if you know anything about the God everyone preaches about.

Everyone thinking they're right applies to personal preferences and perspectives, too. 

Just because you don't believe in abortion doesn't mean it's not the right answer for the woman who was raped. Just because you don't agree with homosexuality doesn't mean LGBTQ+ people should have to live in fear of their basic human rights being taken away. Just because you don't understand the Black Lives Matter movement doesn't mean there aren't Black people who deal with racism daily and deserve to feel safe in their neighborhoods, cars, and in general living their lives.

Listen to your friends, but also listen to people you don't know to widen your perspective. All of us live narrow lives. It's our responsibility to expand who and what we know so that we better understand this thing called life - and not just our own lives, but everyone's.


 - Hold yourself accountable.

Listen to a variety of media outlets. Don't fall prey to just one source of information because it's easy. Compare news stories, check for recurring themes, and always look for the facts.

Read news article from other places in the world so you can understand how the world views us. 

Understand that we are 1 country out of nearly 200. Our views are not the world's views. Understand that our first world country peers typically lean toward what we consider far left, but that's because many of their democracies are human centric: paid maternity leaves, some form of universal healthcare, better education systems, better prison reform, etc. We're like the youngster who can't keep up and has been embarrassing ourselves by throwing a fit when we get tired. We have work to do; it will not be easy.

Many people vote based on one major thing: taxes. However, most people don't confirm what really goes on after promises are made. Pay attention to how we get taxed, why, and who really benefits.

Republicans have long been considered the better party when it comes to taxes, but those tides have been changing for a while now. George W. Bush gave a tax cut that helped the wealthy, whereas Obama gave a tax cut that benefited the middle class. As for our current president, Trump's tax cut amounted to only .9% of GDP, where as Obama's was 1.5% in his first term alone. Trump's TCJA plan, which by all means sounded good, ended up favoring billionaires and corporations. 

Do. Your. Homework. Always ask yourself what the current president and party have actually done. 

This is a fantastic Business Insider article that sums up Trump's accomplishments and failures. For instance, it notes the TCJA plan as an accomplishment for being signed into legislature and cutting corp. taxes from 35% to 21%. However, it also notes the negative side to that action and how most of the promises made haven't been achieved and may never come to fruition. (For fun, you can also check your own tax bracket to see how much more or less you pay than major corporations. A lot of people now pay MORE than the companies that make fortunes off of us.) I appreciate that it also calls out how the booming economy he came into was from Obama, although he took credit. This is something most of us need to learn, which is that each president inherits the economy, either good or bad, from their predecessor and depending on how bad, has to work extremely hard to right side things again. Biden has a large task ahead of him; should he pull it off it will be remarkable.


Friday, September 25, 2020

The Reflection of Shadows: The Creator Who Doesn't Create

The Reflection of Shadows
A collection of moments

Society6

The Creator Who Doesn't Create

The creator who doesn't create-  
Like death by a thousand paper cuts,
Death by a thousand silences,
Death by all the missed chances.

The singer who doesn't sing-
A song lodged in her throat.
A whisper of defeat before
Success had a chance to grow.

The lover who lost the fight-
The lover who didn't try.
The lover who loved deeply
Without ever letting it show.

The chef that doesn't cook.
The teacher that doesn't teach.
The gardner, the artist, the leader
Giving up before they succeed-

Doubting what they're meant to be.






Monday, August 31, 2020

Re-post: The Things We Know, the Things We Don't

One more re-post because this, too, still seems so vital. Questions to ask yourself, today and every day:

 - Why do we think we know better than the experts who have spent years studying their fields? 

 - Why do we give more weight to someone's words than their actions, especially when those actions prove the opposite of what they're saying? 

 - Why does the way we "care" about some things cost other people their lives, happiness, security, etc?

 - Why do we stand behind decades - centuries, even - old information when the world is a completely different place? Why do we do that in our government, our religion, in any way that can hurt another person?

 - Why is it hard to accept the truth when presented with solid facts? And what does that say about us?

_


Monday Mantra: Pay attention
Society6
Mikio Murakami

Have you ever considered the weight of knowledge? Of what knowing or not knowing something really means in the big picture?

Once upon a time, Japan released upon us the deadliest hot air balloons known to man. In an attempt to terrify and kill us, they created Fu-Go weapons that would float, thousands of miles in the air, from their country to ours. Silent weapons of death sent by the gods in the sky.

You probably don't know this story because it was a secret for many, many years. At the time, and for decades after, the government kept it a secret on purpose. This was done intentionally and strategically. Almost no one knew what had happened, that is, except for a small group of very unfortunate people. There was no hysteria in the United States, no fear, and Japan thought they had failed. That same lack of knowledge, however, is what killed a pregnant woman and several innocent children. Had they known these weapons were out there they never would have gone to investigate the strange thing in the woods that they spotted.

The knowledge we possess, or the lack thereof, comes with a price. It is powerful. It is what tips the scale one way or another. Very often, it's the deciding vote in life or death, good or bad, dangerous or safe situations.

Consider a time before fossil fuels. An era before we had electricity and power as we know it today. For most of us, it's unimaginable. Now, consider what it was like for the people that realized they could literally power the world with fossil fuels. I am certain their intentions were primarily good. I am certain it never even occurred to them what that would mean to the world decades into the future, the price we're all paying right now- the rush to find a renewable means of energy. What we didn't know then, we know more about now.

The key to this Puzzle of Knowing lies in what comes after our frame of knowledge changes.

We decide who we are by the actions we take. Do we acknowledge the errors we made along the way and move forward toward better things? Or do we pretend we don't know any better, still, when the evidence is so clear?

This is where you need to pay attention; to how you see things, to how other people react, to what comes next. This is why you need to pay attention; right now, immediately, always.

We can't know everything, it's impossible. That isn't an excuse for us to throw our hands up in the air like we just don't care.

Instead, we must remain open minded and we must look at every angle possible. We must be willing to change our minds when new facts and data surface. We can't get stuck in the old, in the past, in what worked once upon a time. We must hold ourselves accountable to find the facts, not rely on social media as our history lesson in life. When we are shown that we are wrong, that there is a better way, regardless of the effort, we must work towards that new and better way. And when we see something that we know is wrong, we must stand together until it is made right.

I mention that last piece because it feels vitally important in this very moment.

I can't tell you how many times I've recently seen or heard "Give our new president a chance. Whether you like him or not, he's our president and we need to support him."

Normally, I would agree. Normally, it's not that big of a deal. Really, it's not.*

However, nothing about our new president is normal.

To all those people who are telling everyone to give him a chance, to see what happens over the next four years:

 - Think of Rosa Parks. Would you have told her to calm down, that everything would be just fine, to give it a few years and see what happens?

 - Would you have stood behind Hitler when he promised to return his country to its former greatness?

I hope your answer for both of those is no.

Knowledge is power.

What we know about our new president is: He's a blatant liar, he doesn't conduct himself as a leader, he's using Nazi terminology in a modern way (Read this and this), and that he has ill will towards a variety of people - to name just a few of the many terrible things he does.

We know the White House website changed its page in less than 24 hours of him becoming president, with a QVC ad for his wife and the removal of certain info related to LGBT and climate change. We know people around the world, in numerous countries, have expressed concerns about his presidency and, just over the weekend, showed a tremendous amount of support for women's rights, among other things. That single point alone should speak volumes.

What we don't know is what he's capable of or what the future holds.

Here's to knowledge. Let's see where it gets us next.

-

For everyone around the world who has been standing by our side, supporting the people of America, using your voices and fighting with us- thank you. Those two words don't adequately sum up how appreciative we are. Thank you for helping us fight, not just for a better America, but for a better collective world.

-

*By which I mean voting is a big deal and getting the right people in office is a big deal, but typically the opponents are on a more fair playing field, which is to say: There's normally a lot less crazy in our candidates. In most instances, we're going to be fine either way.

Monday, August 17, 2020

Re-post: Nothing Satisfies Hate

What's happening in America right now - again - reminded me of this post I wrote three short years ago. Of how hatred halts all progress, refuses growth, refuses to learn, refuses to change. 

How it is never, not ever, satisfied. 

Enough isn't in its vocabulary; it can't be. Hate is all consuming, all demanding, unyielding in its pursuit of whatever it deems necessary to be destroyed...

...or conquered.

Remaining silent and complacent only gives it more strength. 

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." - Desmond Tutu

This applies to everything.

_

Monday Mantra: Nothing in the world will satisfy hate. It is designed to want more, more, more...
Society6
Mehersgoel

The unbelievable acts that took place recently in Charlottesville, VA got me thinking: What is the purpose of hate?

We grow up learning that "hate" is a bad word. As children, we're taught not to use it because we don't fully understand the implications of what it means. However, as adults, it appears some of us have forgotten that lesson. Maybe some of us never learned it in the first place.

We direct hate freely, in any and all ways we see fit. We don't just say we hate this or we hate that, we feel it. We let it permeate our beings, make a home in our bones. We let it control, we let it devour. We let it be a weapon in the war against others because, for some of us, it feels good.

What happens is destruction of the soul caused by a single, powerful, all consuming emotion.

This is the purpose of hate.

It's only when we grow out of the feeling of hatred, when we grow with and into love, that we see how childish of a feeling hate really is. How foolish, how lacking. How it demands we worship it, follow it, do its bidding. How we become prisoners of what it wants, what it will always want: more.

Let's play the devil's advocate for a moment. Let's pretend that everyone involved in the acts in Charlottesville eventually get what they want- utopia. A perfect world of only white people who look like them, share the same views they do. Then what? Are we to assume this is their happily ever after? That by quenching their thirst for hate they will be satisfied once and for all?

Hitler orchestrated the murder of millions. Do you think he ever felt satisfied? Do you think he ever thought it was enough?

No.

The answer will always be no. There is no such thing as satisfaction when it comes to hate. If this utopia existed, if they got exactly what they wanted, they'd eventually find something new to hate. They'd bicker among themselves, they'd find imperfections, and a new kind of enemy would be formed. A new era of problems, of people that are unworthy, of things that are "wrong" and do not belong. No one that allows these kinds of feelings inside of them ever finds satisfaction. They spend their whole lives chasing the next thing that must be destroyed.

Hate is a drug.

It will always want more. More of your time, more of your life, more damage and destruction and you- more of you, until there's nothing left but a miserable shell of a person who wasted their life running after unreachable goals.

Love, on the other hand, will rebuild.

It will nourish, it will soothe, it will open spaces inside of you that you never knew existed. Love will not demand more from you, it will not take- it will give. It will give and give and give, and just when you think there is no room left inside of you, it will find a crack, a crevice, an opening- and then it will give you more.

Love is the only cure for the hate virus. Only with love do we find true satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Everything else will leave you empty, leave you wanting, leave you in need. Everything else is a decoy.

Let us build a world so full of love that hate has no place left to live.