Finding the Silver Lining

Author and origin unknown

If you were to put on some real clothes right now instead of your oh-so comfy pajamas, and step out into the world, it's safe to say you'd hear many a person conversing about the close of this year and the start of the next. The celebration plans for this evening, all the things they did over the holidays, and, sadly, a lot of regret for what they did not accomplish.

Oh, regret; the haunter of lost dreams, missed opportunities, and failed successes.

What if in the midst of making all the many, many resolutions, one of those could be that we look at regret in a new light? Instead of defining it as a negative, bad, very awful thing, we frame it as a positive?

Maybe, just maybe, instead of letting regret hang over our heads, weigh us down, and remind us that we could've/should've/would've, we can look at it as a tool that shows us the silver lining to things we would otherwise have missed.

I know, I know - it's hard to see the good in the bad, especially when it takes a lot of time to manifest. A failed relationship or poor decision at work might be haunting you. Or maybe it's all the holiday treats. But what about the good? Did you learn how to stand up for yourself? Did you learn to be a better communicator? Did you enjoy those treats so that you can now move on and enjoy something healthy without feeling like you missed out?

There is always light in dark places, good with the bad, and opportunities to take a negative and make it a positive, even if in a small way. The ability to make this shift in perspective lies in your hands.

The silver linings are out there...it's up to you to find them.

Monday Mantra: A Safe Place

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: If each person creates a safe place for the ones we love, eventually everyone will be safe

My husband was on a recent work trip when the CIO of the company he was visiting invited him out for dinner. During their evening, the conversation turned to their families and a very interesting thing happened.

My husband mentioned how he's learned things from me that he lacked awareness on prior; that he's started to see things through my eyes, a woman's eyes. For instance, as a man he doesn't worry about walking down a street at night, or how having kids could impact his career. He proceeds forward, regardless of the time of day or stage in his life.

The CIO listened intently, nodded, and agreed. He said it's true, men typically don't think about those things. Men just walk, they just exist, they take up space on the sidewalks and don't think twice about the person next to them. They don't have to consider things women have to consider.

The CIO then told my husband the following, along with the best piece of wisdom he'd acquired over the years:

As white men, they've been privileged. Regardless of political beliefs or anything else, they've had it simple, period. The world was made for them to succeed. They never had to fight for the right to vote, they never had to fight for an education, they never had to fight for equal pay. All wheels put in motion have been to their benefit.

He went on to explain that the lesson he's learned from his marriage is that the home you share with your wife needs to be a safe place. A place where she can be herself at all times; unguarded, safe to speak freely, where she is 100% supported regardless of topic. He went on to explain that because women always have to fight in a way men don't, because they have to be careful in ways men don't, and because they have to be guarded in ways men don't, they need a place to just be. And home should be that place.

He also explained that this doesn't necessarily mean that he and his wife don't disagree about things from time to time but that, at the end of every single day, he's got her back. For instance, if she's frustrated about something, he's frustrated with her. If she doesn't like someone, heck no he doesn't like them either! He's her #1 supporter. And, if she later changes her mind about the person she doesn't like, cool, he'll swap right back, too. Their home is the one place in the world where she doesn't have to fight for her opinions to be heard, for her concerns to be heeded, for her needs to be met.

Home is her safe place and it's his job to make sure it stays that way. It's his job to help the rest of the world become a safe place, too.

This seems obvious when you think about it, but at the same time I, personally, have never heard it put quite this way. I've never heard it explained so clearly and so lovingly. It hit home, both literally and figuratively, for me and my husband.

For instance, I'm always joking with my husband about being Ride or Die with any number of things. Mostly I'm kidding, but every once in a while I'm serious and I want us to be on the same page, the same team.

During the conversation with the CIO my husband told him about my Ride or Die thoughts and how sometimes he struggles being "ride or die" because we think differently. He used an example about hiring someone to do work on our house. I didn't particularly like the person and want to use them again, while he thought they were fine and didn't see an issue hiring them back. The CIO told him to always back me up. If I didn't like the person we hired, they're out, because our home is sacred and anyone who enters should be someone that adds value to my life, not detracts, no matter how little. If I came around later and changed my mind, no big deal. Ride or Die all the way, he said. That's how you create an unconditional safe place.

Since then, my husband has been ride or dying everything. You know what? It has made my life, our home, our relationship even more of a safe place than it was before.

Imagine if each of us created a safe place for the people we love. One day the whole world would be safe.
_

A special shout-out to the CIO who's making the world better in his home and at his company. You, sir, are exceptional. We need more folks like you, especially those in leadership roles. 

And a shout-out to my husband, who's always willing to listen and learn and be the best husband, the best person, he can be.

Shopping 'Til You Drop: Global Gift Guide

2018 Global Holiday Gift Guide

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you be of good cheeeeer,

It's the most wonderful tiiiiime of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!

(It's like I'm there singing it to you, right?!)

Last year's gift guide focused on the individual while this year I'm focusing on the world; all the goodies from all the places that you really can't find just anywhere. If you've been struggling for ideas, look no further. Scroll down for some of my favorites that I'm sure your loved ones will cherish.

GlobeIn
Ethically sourced artisan goods from all over the world? Heck yeah! Options include subscription boxes (I love the Cozy Box) or you could browse their awesome online store to hand select whatever you want.

My favorites? The Malika mugs from Tunisia. Nothing like you've seen elsewhere and, honestly, they're just fun to hold. My other top pick is any (or all) of the hand woven baskets from Mexico.

I can neither confirm nor deny that I may own multiples of all the aforementioned items.

This site has it all, friends. So. Many. Options!


Hemslojd Swedish Gifts
Remember that time I went to Norway and fell in love with the cutest little gnomes, or Tomtes as they call them? You too (or your friends and family) can also experience the awesomeness that is little bearded Santa gnomes or any of the other awesome goods this site sells. To be fair, this is a Swedish site, but cutie gnomes are cutie gnomes no matter where you find them.

There's a ton of great things and you can even request a mail-in catalog if you want to browse, you know, the old fashioned way.


TWG Tea
It wouldn't be the holiday season without a tea recommendation (or two), so allow me the pleasure of sharing with you my newest discovery. TWG, or The Wellness Group, is a Singapore based company that's been around since 1837.

Not only is the tea excellent, but the containers it comes in are chic as heck. Silver Moon Tea is the one I'm digging now, but check out their site to discover all the many options.

David's Tea
My second tea recommendation comes from this Canada based company that I've been a fan of for the last several years. The green passionfruit is my favorite, however, I'm SUPER into their 24 Days of Tea shop. It's seriously a tea lovers dream. Each day leading up to Christmas you open one of the little boxes and try a new tea. We're such tea fanatics at my house that we may have ordered more than one of the tea countdown sets for each day...and night...and inbetween...

It really is like opening a present everyday until Christmas!

Deciding What To Do With Our Time

Dear Friends,

As you may have noticed, I haven't been writing as often or as much as I used to. These last few months have been full of many things: great travel adventures, house projects galore, steps toward new interests, and a lot of time simply taking care of myself in order to be able to accomplish all these other things. Busy doesn't begin to describe my situation lately, but it's intentional and, in the end, all the time spent away from my first love of writing will be worth the experiences, lessons, and achievements gained in other areas of my life.

As I'm getting back into the swing of thoughts to fingertips to keyboard, I thought I'd share some of my favorites; favorite stories, food, moments, and experiences from these last several months.

In no particular order, let us begin...

1. I've recently become a foster mentor. In fact, I'm in the pairing process right now and will be assigned a child or young adult soon. I'm elated and terrified and thankful and hopeful. In my bones I know, I can feel, this is where I've been heading for years, but just finally found the path. And truly, the way I got here couldn't be anything less than by divine intervention, in which similar souls from the same state met at an ice cream parlor in New Zealand and started talking about kids.

If you're interested and if you have time to commit to better the life of a child in need, please look into how you can become a foster parent or mentor. It is literally life changing for both parties.

2. This Ted Talk by Elizabeth Gilbert is everything to me right now. It's old, but applicable. How I used to feel about being a good writer and needing to, in ways, be sad or struggle to really create something magnificent. How I later decided that didn't have to be the case. How hard it is to put yourself out there in a way that so many criticize when no other career is tackled with the same questions and doubts. How my poetry also comes to me in waves that often feel ethereal and otherworldly, and how, I too, have to catch them before they vanish.

It's inspiring. Please give it a listen and take note of the theme around genius and how we should maybe start viewing it instead.

3. I was recently in San Francisco and found these amazing gluten free cookies, by Salty Sweet, which you can buy online and have shipped to your house...to your house!!

Do it.

4. I was also recently in Portugal, both Lisbon and Porto, and I cannot stop thinking about how badly I want to go back. The beauty of the cities, the incredibly fresh seafood, the interesting story of tea (the real name is Cha and tea time originated in Portugal, not England - FYI), the boatloads of street art...I would travel here again tomorrow if I had the time. Not to mentions how safe- how incredibly, undeniably safe I felt in Lisbon day or night, alone or not, anywhere I went. Portugal is the travel destination right now and once you're there, it's obvious why. The history is so rich it makes your mouth water. Every corner holds a story of the past. Every nearby town or city has something so astonishing, so beautiful you want to hop on a train and go exploring.

Portugal is about to boom big time, even bigger than it is now. Be prepared.

5. Ages ago my grampa built by gramma an oversized window off their dining room that had glass shelves and special lighting for all of her plants; violets, succulents, roses. This was normal to me, back then, a house full of plants, but I never adopted it myself until just now. I'm not sure why, other than my reluctance at growing things and successfully keeping them alive. However, over the last few years, I've been becoming a gardener of sorts.

I plant every spring and every fall. I water-water-water my little heart out in the summer. I see what survived and what didn't, and take my lessons back with me for next time. And now, just now, I've moved my gardening indoors. Friends, I have to tell you, it feels like coming home to something I've been missing this whole time, this piece from my past.

I think my plants know. I think they know I love them.

6. I've been slowly but steadily sorting through each inch of my house to determine what I love, what I need, what is necessary and what isn't. My goal is to clear away the excess and leave the essential. I typically do a practice of this sort once a year, but this year is a little more...intense, shall we say.

It's amazing how much humans accumulate over time and what all of those accumulations mean to the world in the form of resources used, trash, waste.

7. For years now I've done this thing where I "adopt" people into my family. They don't know it, obviously, because it's a game I play in my head, but my husband is aware and he knows when I've just met someone that will be inducted into my Make Believe Family. There are no real rules or requirements, rather a feeling I get when someone radiates goodness and kindness. When this happens, I always repeat the same wish: that their lives be filled with that same kind of goodness and kindness, that all their dreams come true, and that they win the Power Ball. Because why not, you know?

Over the course of a year, I don't typically meet that many people that get The Make Believe Family Invite. Maybe 5, and that's on the high end. However, it seems like I've been running into more and more folks this last year. Given the state of the world (or my world, in the United States) I take this as a good sign.

In times like this, real kindness is what we need.

The Reflection of Shadows: When It's Hard

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

When It's Hard

When life gets too hard,
When there's more to do,
And there just can't be
Quite enough of you,
When the lists are long
And days are full,
Take a breath, my friend;
I'll be there for you.

When the asks are great
And demands are high,
When your limit's been reached-
Then it multiplies,
When your luck's run out
And you're running on low,
Take my hand, dear friend;
I won't let you go.

When the clouds hang on
And the sun won't shine,
When you've lost your way
On the path of life,
When each single day
Is a little too much,
Remember this, my friend:
There is so much love.

You'll be faced with challenges,
Often more than you'd like,
But I'm here to remind you
Of the good in life:
All the love, all the joy
All the moments of bliss;
When you're down and out
I'll remind you of this.

The Reflection of Shadows: We'll Know When We've Arrived

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

We'll Know When We've Arrived

We're going on an adventure,
We'll catch you when we're back.
We'll tell you all the stories
Of the people that we've met.

We're going on an adventure,
Don't wait for our return.
We've things to see and things to do;
New ways of life to learn.

We're going on an adventure,
The journey's half the fun.
We'll build the memories as we go;
Our story's just begun.

We're going on an adventure,
We've left our maps behind,
And though our plans are in fate's hands,
We'll know when we've arrived.

How to be a Good Person

At the close of each day, conduct a personal moral inventory:

• Did your actions reflect the the person you strive to be?
• Were you honest with others? 
• Were you honest with yourself?
• Did you add value to the world in some way, whether it be by good thoughts or good deeds?
• Were you kind in your interactions with all those you met today? 
• Were you kind to yourself?
• Were you respectful to those who had differing opinions from your own, while still remaining true to what you believe?
• Did you have an opportunity to stand up for someone who couldn't stand up for themselves and, if so, did you take it?

Monday Mantra: Civilization Is Just The Slow Process of Learning To Be Kind

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.  - Horace Traubel

My grandmother-in-law (or just Gram, as we call her) gave me a book of poems for Christmas: Poems That Touch The Heart compiled by A. L. Alexander. It's a copy of a book her late husband, George, liked to read. George would often come across a poem that reminded him of how he felt about her. He'd then jot down the poem from the book and give it to her. Adorable, right guys?

As you may have already figured out, I'm a fan of all things poetry, but Gram sharing something with me like this that had a special meaning to her was really quite touching. I was excited to read it and even more excited when I realized this was no normal book of poems- no, no. This is a masterpiece of humanity at its finest.

At the beginning of the book there's a rather lengthy introduction. I don't always read the intro, but this one caught my attention immediately.

Mr. Alexander starts off by telling a story about a local university president that needed a quote for a new building that would, essentially, sum up humanity's quest to define morality. The president struggled, but eventually landed on this simple statement followed by a poem:

"Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind."

So many gods, so many creeds, 

So many paths that wind and wind, 

When just the art of being kind, 

Is all this sad world needs.

He then continues into a story about a piece of history I'd never heard of: The Good Will Court.

Back in the early 1900's, Mr. Alexander worked in broadcasting. This is when radios were the entertainment of all entertainment. Families would gather round their radios, anxiously anticipating their favorite radio show to start up. (Picture: The Christmas Story. Remember little Ralphie and his unyielding dedication to the Little Orphan Annie radio show? Better yet, consider the Orson Welles fiasco, where he terrified the nation by thinking aliens were invading. Radio was that important back then.)

In the 1930's, Mr. Alexander was noticing a theme in letters he'd receive from people all over the world. Letters about economic stress, family problems, a feeling of hopelessness overall. As someone who always had the listener in mind, he wanted to do something to help. He enlisted the help of over 60 judges from a variety of local courts and created a radio show where listeners could get real help for free. On March 31, 1935, he debuted the Good Will Court. It was, to say the least, revolutionary at the time.

Unfortunately, a group of lawyers got together and shut down the show based on, basically, not liking that legal advise was being given away, but for the two years it was on, it had unprecedented rankings in the radio world. Mr. Alexander went on to create more shows of similar nature, as his goal to help people was as strong as ever.

In all of the radio shows he hosted, he would always close each one out the same way- with a poem. Over the years, tens of thousands of listeners sent him poetry to be read. Each night, he'd pick a different one and read it over the airwaves. He found that poetry, "...teaches us there can be no inward peace or happiness without some elemental faith in life's essential goodness."

That, my friends, is how this book was created. Each poem within the book was sent in by some long ago listener, which was then selected to be read on the air, and finally, based on the warm reception it received from the audience, was then chosen for this book.

I don't know about you, but that entire story - from where these poems originated from, and why, to how they landed in this book - warms my heart. Candidly, I can see why the poems (and stories, some of them seem to be) that are in his book were chosen. So far, all of the ones I've read have truly resonated with me. That doesn't always happen with poetry. Sometimes you have to be in the same headspace as the author, but the poems are all so vast and diverse that they tug at your heartstrings every which way.

Below are some of my favorites that I've come across so far. I highly suggest picking up this unique book of poems so you, too, can read and experience a little piece of history that remains true today: People need people, people need hope, and we should all build fires to keep one another warm in cold times.

Around The Corner

Around the corner I have a friend, 

In this great city that has no end;

Yet days go by, and weeks rush on, 

And before I know it a year is gone, 

And I never see my old friend's face, 

For Life is a swift and terrible race.

He knows I like him just as well

As in the days when I rang his bell

And he rang mine. We were younger then, 

And now we are busy, tired men:

Tired with playing a foolish game, 

Tired with trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow, " I say, "I will call on Jim, 

Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes - and tomorrow goes, 

And the distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner! - yet miles away...

"Here's a telegram, sir..."

                                      "Jim died today."

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end:

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

- Charles Hanson Towne

Unsubdued

I have hoped, I have planned, I have striven, 

To the will I have added the deed;

The best that was in me I've given, 

I have prayed, but the gods would not heed.

I have dared and reached only disaster, 

I have battled and broken my lance;

I am bruised by a pitiless master

That the weak and the timid call chance.

I am old, I am bent, I am cheated

Of all that Youth urged me to win;

But name me not with the defeated, 

Tomorrow again, I begin.

 - S. E. Kiser

The Dark Candle

A man had a little daughter- an only and much-beloved child. He lived for her- she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self.

But one night he had a dream. he was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked:

"How is it, darling, that your candle alone is unlighted?"

"Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just them he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candles be extinguished by his useless tears!

 - Strickland Gillilan 

Monday Mantra: Holding On & Letting Go

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Hold on to each other, let go of your woes

Part 1 - Hold On To Each Other

This past weekend I attended a funeral for my late Pastor. He wasn't just my Pastor, though, he was a friend, a mentor, someone who I'd known so long, and who's family I'd been so close with, that he'd felt like an extended part of my family in many ways. He was someone who, by deciding to move to Arizona all those long years ago, brought terrific friends into my life.

His kids and I grew up together - I even got to spend quality time forming friendships with their cousins - and, when we were little, we were inseparable. There were sleep overs at each other's houses, adventures in the old church parking lot with the big trees that lined the property, and many church events over the years, like Vacation Bible School and Christmas Eve skits. We played and laughed and lived our little kid lives to the fullest.

We got older and went our separate ways, as is fairly normal in this thing called life. I'm the oldest of the crew and, just by the sheer nature of being older, I grew up and moved away long before they did. In my growing up, and in theirs, too, it's fair to say we all sort of grew apart. We're friends still, sure, but it's not the same as when we were younger. We all had different paths to take, and we moved to different cities, so that super close bond you get from just being around each other all the time...well, that's gone.

My Pastor's church was the hub. It's where all of our activities primarily happened. We saw each other every single weekend and on all major holidays. As we got older and moved away and moved on, those times lessened. Still, I always knew that my hometown, and my old church, was the place where I'd probably be able to catch up with them from time to time. For years, that was one of my favorite reasons for going home to visit.

On the long drive home from the funeral the other day, a realization hit me: This may be the last time I ever see all of them in the same place, at the same time, ever again. In fact, this may be the last time I see them at all if we fail to stay in touch like we always say we'll do.

That thought breaks my heart.

Our old church is just that- our old church. It's no longer my Pastor's church, he's not there. It's not even his wife's church now, as she moved to a different city just a few short months ago. It's no longer the hub. Now, it's just another place. The guarantee I had all those years to see my friends, well, it went away, just like we did.

It's a hard realization to come to. When you are so used to something, so reassured in its factuality, it's heartbreaking to accept when it stops, when it changes. These were my people. And I still love them and I still care about them...but everything is different.

For instance, at the funeral I learned my friend Noah apparently likes Westerns. I had no clue. It's weird to have once known someone well and now realize there are many, many, many things you don't know at all. Like when we were kids, his favorite color was green. Whether it still is or not, I don't know.

Another realization I had, and have had for many years, is that one of my greatest flaws is not being good at long distance friendships or even friendships where I don't see the person on a regular basis in some way, shape, or form.

It's too easy for me to get busy and laser in on what's directly in front of me. On top of that, I'm much more of an introvert as an adult. As a young person, I was very outgoing. But now, that doesn't come as naturally or as easily, and I'm far more awkward. I'm like Barry Allen; I don't know how to "people" all the time. I don't understand their rhythms like I used to. It's easy for me to wonder how and when to reach out. What's too much? What's not enough? What borders on being a stalker if you miss someone and want to rekindle your friendship? (Kidding on the last one, but you get my point.)

Each year that I get older, I see things differently. Like how I should have tried harder and made more of an effort for us all to stick together. When you're a teenager, when you're young, the possibilities feel endless. You assume you have time- to grow up, to do all the things, to reconnect. You don't realize how busy you are or how many years have passed until they're gone.

You realize that losing someone doesn't just come in the form of death; it comes in the form of change.
_

These are people I've known almost my entire life. That's not something most people can say and I feel the weight of its importance, the value in having known another person that's really known you - through childhood and change and even loss.

It's these friends that were there for me when my dad died. Even though we were all tiny tots, they felt my pain with me. They cried their tears while I cried mine. I still have the giant yellow cardboard card they made me with "We love you" written in little kid scribble.

All these years later, yet still far too soon, their hearts are breaking in a similar way mine once did and all I wanted to do last week, all I could think about, was finding a way to help ease that awful hurt.

I wish it was as simple as making a giant yellow cardboard card and telling them I love them.


Part 2 - Let Go Of Your Woes

After I had started working on this piece a couple nights ago, I was feeling anxious. Like there was something I needed to do or fix or understand. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't put my finger on what, exactly, that "thing" was.

I just kind of felt...incomplete.

As I was sitting in bed, I decided to try something. To put this uneasy feeling, this intangible sensation, out to the universe in the hopes it would direct me to the answer.

Next to my bed sits a book of poetry and, lately, I've found every time I read it, the poem I'm reading fits perfectly with what I'm experiencing in life. So, I grabbed the book, held all the pages between my hands, closed my eyes, and repeated, "What am I searching for, what am I searching for, what am I searching for?" over and over again.

Then, I let the pages slip between my fingers until my thumb felt a warm sensation coming from the page beneath it. There, I looked over the pages in front of me.

At first, I felt defeated; my question to the universe had been ignored, I thought. The titles of the two poems seemed completely unhelpful, especially the one on the right, the one where my thumb had landed. However, I decided to read them anyway. The one on the left was called "The House of Pride" and it was about the value we place on pride, knowledge, and love. It was a good poem, but it wasn't what I needed.

Finally, I read the poem on the right, the one I had purposely been avoiding, so frustrated that this was where I'd landed, so sure this poem would do nothing for me, answer no questions, resolve no issues. I carelessly read it at first, until I got to the second portion. Then, I realized my error. This oh-so normal and average looking poem was exactly the profound message I was looking for. The answer to my anxiety, the missing piece to the puzzle of feeling complete in my thoughts that evening.

Ol' Clothes

The Junk Man passed the house today

And gave his call in his plaintive way, 

"Ol' clothes!

        Ol' clothes!

                 Ol' clothes!

Any ol' clothes to throw away?
Any ol' dishes...any 'ol plates?

Any ol' pants or hats or skates, 

Any ol' kettles or pots or pans, 

Any ol' bottles or ol' tin cans, 

Any ol' dresses or any ol' shoes, 

Any ol' things that you can't use?

Ol' clothes!

        Ol' clothes!

                 Ol' clothes!"

I searched the house and made a heap

Of things that I didn't need to keep, 

Outworn garments and out-read books, 

Clothes that had hung on rusty hooks

For the dust to grime and the moths to chew.

And thus the old made way for the new.

I thought, as the old man went his way, 

How grand it would be if every day

The Junk Man passed the house to say, 

"Ol' woes

        Ol' woes

                 Ol' woes

Any ol' woes to throw away?

Any ol' grudges...any ol' hates, 

Any ol' miseries or sad ol' dates, 

Any ol' sorrows or any ol' spites, 

Any ol' fusses or feuds or fights, 

Any ol' sighs or any ol' tears, 

Any ol' wishing for yesteryears, 

Any ol' quarrles or any ol' frets, 

Any ol' tears or ol' regrets?

Ol' woes!

        Ol' woes!

                 Ol' woes!"

 - Author Unknown

The Reflection of Shadows: Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

Is It Worth It? Let Me Work It

Calendars and planning meetings,
Fail to a verbal beating.
Numbers, paper, data sequence-
Everything's about the distance.
About the goal, the destination,
Leaping without hesitation.
Mail, phone calls, conversations;
Deadlines coming, pulses racing.
Bosses, supervisors, chiefs
Telling you to take the leap.
Code of ethics violations,
Shaky, phony explanations.
All the work and all the sweat-
Nothing real to show for it.
Early mornings, drawn out days.
Late nights when your eyes are glazed.
Last decisions, one last minute-
Always pushing to the limit.
Order supplies, clean the office,
Print reports on all the losses.
More to do and less to say,
I think I'll call in sick today.

_


Happy Friday, friends! Don't work- enjoy your weekend!

Monday Mantra: When You Just Can't, But You Have To Anyway

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: We've all been there

On a recent trip to Starbucks, my brain decided to stop working. Temporarily and at exactly the most inconvenient moment.

There was a long line of cars ahead of us and we were moving slowly...at first. That's the key phrase here because the moving slowly part is what made my mind start wandering off, thinking about things like Buffy and Spike's relationship, which character on Friends I'm most like (the answer is Monica + Phoebe, in case you're curious), and how truly disappointing it is that I have made it this far in life and haven't had the chance to meet (and hug) a mini horse in person. I faux internet hug them all the time because, c'mon, they're adorable.

Anyway...when the line started picking up speed, I drove right along with all the other cars and right past the speaker when you're supposed to, you know, place your order. Now, I would've backed up, but the car behind me was pulling right along with me, so he ended up blocking most of where I needed to be. The car in front of me was just finishing their order, so I was stuck right in the middle of squat.

I heard the speaker buzz from behind and ask for my order. In my mind, the most logical thing to do was order at the window once the car in front of me left, so I real quick yell-explain my special situation back at the speaker and ask if I can drive up and order at the window, pretty please.

The Starbucks guy says he can hear me so to just go ahead and order. A normal person would be like, "F this, I'm not going to twist my head backwards and make this even more awkward for myself and the car behind me as I yell my order to everyone within a one mile radius." I am, however, not normal and embarrass myself on the regular, so I'm cool with it.

Me in my normal voice: "I would like a grande peach citrus white tea and a..." 

Starbucks Dude: "What? What was that?" 

Me in a slightly louder, more irritated, more enunciated voice because, duh, obviously this was going to happen: "I said a grrrrannnde peeeeach..." 

Starbucks Dude:"What size did you say?"

Me in my demon voice that I didn't even know I had: "I said a GRANDE! A WHITE PEACH CITRUS GRANDE and a STRAWBERRY GREEN TEA - GRANDE!" 

Starbucks Dude: "Cool. Sweetened or unsweetened?" 

Me: "...unsweetened..."

Then I calmly drive up to the window, pay the man, get my drinks, and leave. Oh, and my husband was in the car the whole time laughing at me, so there's that.

This is what you have to do when you're a grown up; when you just can't, and you clearly didn't, but you have no other choice so you just keep going until you can flee from the scene of shame and stupidity with your ice cold beverages.

There's no huge, overarching moral to this story, friends. Hopefully you had a good laugh.

Enjoy your Monday!

In the World of Wellness: Face and Body Product Awesomeness

There's nothing I love more than a good, high quality, works-like-a-dream skin care product. Thus, I would like to present to you these OMG-worthy products.


Dr. Alkaitis

Dr. Alkaitis

If you're a longtime reader, you know I'm a huge and dedicated fan of anything and everything Hylunia. I'll branch out now and then, as you can see, but my heart lies firmly with them. However, Dr. Alkaitis products are quickly winning me over, earning a regular spot in my skincare routines. So far, I've only tried the Organic Nourishing Treatment Oil and the Organic Herbal Toner, but if these are any indication of the rest of the line, Hylunia has some serious competition.

A few times a week, as part of my nightly routine, I'll use the toner followed by the oil. It's perfect for bedtime because your skin absorbs it while you sleep. I kid you not, after every use I wake up looking dewy fresh. Proof: after using the product just one time, my friend literally commented on how dewy and radiant my skin looked the next day. It's that impressive, folks.

Kate Somerville

ExfoliKate

Kate Somerville's award winning ExfoliKate is a true gem. Developed for all skin types, it gives you a clean scrubbed, brand new kinda feeling after each refreshingly tingly use.

Made with magical ingredients like pumpkin enzymes (brightens skins and boosts collagen production), lavender (the all powerful essential oil for literally everything you can think of), and the always important Vitamin E (to name just a few of the ingredients), you have a true skin care recipe for success.







Seraphine Botanicals Carrot + Rose Hydrating Cream

Seraphine Botanicals

If someone had told me that combining carrots and roses would result in one of the best smelling lotions I've ever experienced, I would've straight up laughed in their face...and I would've been wrong.

The Carrot + Rose Hydrating Cream is legit one of the best things I've ever smelled. Now, smelling good is one thing, but it has to work, right? Well, it's also one of the best lotions I've tried in recent years. It's a perfect balance of moisture for your skin. (Trust me on this, I live in a desert. Lotion is a vital ingredient to surviving desert living.) I seriously hope they make this product for the rest of eternity.




Pacha Soap Co. Salt Blocks

On a recent go-ahead-and-take-all-my-money shopping trip at Whole Foods, I stumbled on Pacha Soap Salt Blocks. Of their available options, the detox block is my favorite. First of all, it smells great. I know you're probably thinking, "What is up with her and smells?" PSA: Life is short, people. Don't waste your time on things that don't smell good.

Anyway...the salt block really packs a perfect punch for a nice long soak in the bath. It's the perfect amount of salt plus charcoal powder and you don't end up feeling dried out in the slightest. It does leave a black residue behind in the tub as charcoal, in general, is quite messy. However, I was extra pleased when I realized how easy it was to wipe off the residue. Sometimes charcoal can be a real pain when you're working with it, but it's clear they've formulated their blocks to ensure it cleans up nicely.

The Reflection of Shadows: Lost

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

Lost

Lost and found- again, again.
You lose your way when thoughts rush in,
You let them take you, smother action,
Overpower sense with passion.

I've lost you in a million ways:
In thoughts, in logic, on darker days,
You're not quite there, then there you are,
It's hide and seek; it breaks my heart.

You can't see past what's in your head,
You'll repeat motions 'till you're dead,
You won't get help, you're lost in noise-
You've trapped yourself without a choice.

The Reflection of Shadows: I Will Not Settle, Will Not Fall

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all. - Oscar Wilde
Society6

I Will Not Settle, Will Not Fall

I will not settle,
Will not fall.
I'll build the walls
Then break them all.
I'll fight the fight
And keep on living-
I will not settle,
I will not give in.

I will not forfeit,
Will not break.
I won't deny
My destined fate.
I will not let
The demons rage,
I will not rush
Where I must wait.

I will not settle-
Settle never.
Not for you
Or your endeavors.
I'm worth the battle,
Worth the distance,
Worth the challenge-
Curse resistance.

I know my value,
Know my reasons,
Know that I can
Fight these demons.
Know that I am
Worth it all-
I will not settle.
I will not fall.

The Reflection of Shadows: I Remember

The Reflection of Shadows

A collection of moments

Society6

I Remember

I remember: jogging down the street.
And I remember: the way you looked at me.
I remember the dreams we used to share,
But what I can't remember
Is why you went and where.

I remember: the way you lived your life.
And I remember: the crazy, funny nights.
I remember the way you wanted me,
But what I can't remember
Is why I didn't see.

I remember: you loving my red hair.
And I remember: the way you stopped to stare.
I remember your kisses on my hand,
But what I can't remember
Is why I let it end.

I remember: the music that we shared.
And I remember: the chains you used to wear.
I remember the way you touched my heart,
But what I can't remember
Is why we had to part.

I remember: buying you that shirt.
And I remember: how surprised you looked.
I remember it framed upon the wall,
But what I can't remember
Is why they didn't call.

I remember: the flowers that you brought.
And I remember: you in the parking lot.
I remember you spinning me around,
But what I can't remember
Is why you put me down.

I remember: the first time I saw you.
And I remember: you looking at me too.
I remember the nicknames that we had,
But what I can't remember
Is why I made you mad.

I remember: the outline of your hands.
And I remember: your house and all your land.
I remember your mom's tears hitting ground,
But what I can't remember
Is why I let you down.

I remember: too fresh and new and cold.
And I remember: the day that I was told.
I remember your headstone late at night,
But what I can't remember
Is why you had to die.
_

Happy birthday, my friend. Eternally 19.

Monday Mantra: 35 Before 35

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Pursue your passions above all else

As long as there is open road the familiar has the most formidable competitor.  - Austin Kleon

Things I love, in order:

1) Family, friends, furry babies
2) Travel
3) Lord of the Rings

Number two is significant.

A little while back I set a goal for myself: to have traveled to 35 countries before my 35th birthday. On one hand, I completely believed I could make it happen. On the other, it seemed a little impossible given the time constraints. I knew I would get close, definitely, but actually hitting my target seemed out of reach. Nonetheless, I persisted.

The universe does magical things when you want something bad enough, friends. When you love something with all your being. When you've committed your heart and soul to it.

I didn't just hit my goal, I surpassed it (and with a solid buffer of time, might I add). *high fives self*

Am I pleased? As punch.

Am I satisfied? No.

I've been to six of the seven continents, I've traveled to 38 different countries, some on multiple occasions, and I've seen half of my own country. Is this enough?

Never, never, never.

Number wise, 38 sounds like a lot, but I've done the math, friends. It's not even a fourth of the world. If we generously round up, we can pretend. But mathematically speaking, I've seen a blip of what's out there. This miraculous, gorgeous, incredible world of ours is filled with more places than I can likely see in my lifetime, but that's not going to stop me from trying.

For instance, when I nonchalantly tell someone I have a travel bucket list, I literally mean I have a seven page document outlining all the international and domestic places I need to see, places I've already been and want to revisit, and when I think I'm going to make these adventures happen (determined primarily by my impatience to see them). The love I feel for traveling is real and deep and profound and, therefore, must be embraced.

Now, I ask you: What do you love?

What do you think about day and night, night and day, endlessly?

Do you want to own your own bakery? Become a photographer? Run for office? Sail around the world?

Go after your dreams, my friends. Do the things you love. Create a plan, post that sucker on a wall, and work towards it daily in whatever way you can. Everyone starts somewhere. I started with one country. That's how it works; you start, then you keep going.

Are your dreams so big you fear they're unreachable and, therefore, you've never started the process of achieving them at all?

Change your mindset.

I'll never be able to see every inch of this world, every city. I most likely won't be able to see every country, either. While I'd like to, while that's the ultimate goal, it's all the things along the way that make this journey amazing. It's all the other things I end up accomplishing that I never even would have considered or realized or thought possible.

Pursue the things you're passionate about. Every step you take, regardless of how far you get, is a step in the right direction.

Get going.

Update + Practice of Free Thinking

I've decided to tone down how often I post items on here for the time being. While I love writing for a multitude of reasons, I've become too focused on how often I write instead of why I write. Being creative isn't something that should be forced or scheduled; it's something that should spring forth naturally. Therefore, I'm giving my well of creativity a chance to replenish itself to see what may come.

Today's post is an exercise in free thinking; unstructured, sporadic, clumsy, natural.

Author: Unknown

1. My best thinking is done right before I fall asleep. In the pitch blackness of the bedroom, when silence is the softest sound and thoughts bubble to the surface.

2. With any book or movie that's portrayed an apocalyptic after world, I immediately have the same thought: I would want to be one of the the people left behind/left alive. Not because I think I'm actually capable of surviving say, zombies, but because I would want to see and experience what comes next. I don't so much care for a new world, much like I have no desire to live on Mars. But I do want to see my world - the world I've known - after the fact. I want my thirst of curiosity to be quenched.

3. I still strongly dislike #hashtags. As I'm learning, the world - in certain ways - revolves around them. When it comes to business and marketing, they're somewhat crucial. It's an odd thing, really, a hashtag. 

2018: emoji's and hashtags and so many acronyms you can't keep up. 

(Sometimes I wonder if we're devolving.) 

4. When I was a teenager, I absolutely loved the movie Gleaming the Cube. I haven't thought about it in years. 

It's strange, how things you once loved evaporate from your mind.

5. Parenting is weird. It only takes you nine months to become a parent. That's not a lot of time to prepare. You can't get a college degree for anything in nine months, but you're fine after that amount of time to raise a human? And you're not even required to get any kind of education or training, either. It's truly bizarre when you stop to consider it.

6. Change means: You have to be willing to be uncomfortable. You have to want that more than you want comfort.

7. Over the last several years I've become more and more and more impassioned about certain causes. I've become more of an activist, I suppose. I've always cared, but I care in different, deeper ways. 

It is, at times, uncomfortable. The world will love or hate you for your opinion simply because their opinion matches or does not match your own. This isn't how opinions are supposed to work. Social media has given rise to a lack of patience, respect, and candid yet safe conversations with one another in real life, not on keyboards.

8. I like this person that I've become, that I'm still becoming.

Now, things matter in completely different ways. 

I like that.