Sunday, June 24, 2012

Monday Mantra: Replacing Memories

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: I will replace the old with the new, the bad with the good, the unfortunate with the important

I've had many moments in life that didn't turn out quite like I hoped they would. Trips that went awry due to arguments that never ended. Special occasions spoiled by thoughtless actions. Family get-togethers ruined by family member feuds. And unfulfilled expectations of things that could have been wonderful, but were bogged down in bitterness instead.

Memories of moments that should have been important and beautiful, only to be ruined and frozen in my mind that way forever.

All these almost great things, left behind in time, bothered me. I wanted them back. I wanted a repeat. I wanted what I couldn't have.

Until one day, when I realized I could replace them.

Each and every bad memory of each and every bad moment could be replaced with a good one. A new memory. A happy one.

It all started when an event I hadn't been to in quite some time rolled back around one year. I purposely hadn't gone to it because the last time I had, it had been more than slightly awful. I finally decided enough was enough and I took one of my girl's with me, to face this memory in my mind. Not only did we have a blast and a half, but when the day was over I realized I would no longer have the old, bad memories of the prior event. I would now have this new one. This wonderful, happy, laughter filled memory of something I had put off for too long.

It's not always that easy, though, replacing what was with what you want it to have been. You can't always make it an exact replica of the time or thing you want, but you can come close.

Maybe high school was a horrible time for you. True- you can't go back, but you can make it a good time for someone else. Someone who might be having a time just as rough as yours. Someone who might need a friend, a shoulder to lean on. You can volunteer at the school or become a Big Brother or Big Sister. You can help someone through their struggles with the lessons you learned from yours. You can show them the light at the end of the tunnel and, by doing so, replace what you thought you missed out on with a new memory of something that will enrich your life, and theirs.

There is always a way to make things better, to make things new. There is always a way to find the good in the bad, the light in the dark, the beginning from the end.

You can do it. We all can, together.

I saw this picture, below, on Pinterest tonight and thought it was also appropriate. Let's all quit tripping on the past, pick up our feet, and march on to new memories.

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Monday Mantra: Believe

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Believe in what makes you happy

Sometimes in life, when I'm uncomfortable/awkward/having a bad hair day, I'm pretty sure my life is being broadcast like The Truman Show. It doesn't matter whether I'm out in public or alone in my living room. Somewhere out there I just know there's a teeny tiny camera displaying my clumsiness to the entire world. 

In those particular moments, I try and play off whatever awkward and clumsy thing I'm doing as if I had actually planned it out like that. Which just makes me look like even more of an idiot to the non-existent people who aren't actually paying attention. Mostly because then it makes me twice as paranoid that the audience is on to me trying to act cooler than I am, because I'm on to them. I'm sure this is what all healthy and sane adults think on their uncomfortable/awkward/bad hair days.

Outside of that - and with the hope that none of you will have me committed - I'll additionally admit this: Most of the time I like to think that I'm surrounded by a posse of guardian angels, all well equipped to handle whatever situation is at hand. Not just one guardian angel, but a whole crew for each and every weird situation I get myself into. I want each one to be specifically assigned as an expert on the dumb thing that's about to go down. I mean really, isn't your guardian angel supposed to be guarding you from everything? That's a lot of work for just one person, heavenly being or not. Therefore, with that amazing logic of mine, I need multiple ones that are Subject Matter Experts on the handout they all should have been given, aptly named "The Stupid and Awkward Things Melia Does on a Regular Basis." Like my incident yesterday.

I was walking out of Walgreens in the blistering 5000 degree Arizona heat and got into my car. As I'm about to buckle up, I look around and notice that something's off. There's a bag of fools gold in the cup holder and my rear view mirror now has a terrifying joker faced set of fuzzy dice staring at me. Most people would probably catch on immediately, but I like to think outside the box. I like to think outside of the bag, the envelope, and most other things, including common sense. 

As I sit there, I decide that my car must've been at the hands of a carjacker just moments before I exited the store. I continue to assess the situation and can't grasp why someone would break into my car and then somewhat neatly arrange their junk in it before they were to flee the scene. I see one shoe on the passenger side and immediately assume they must have lost it when they spotted me and took off. Clearly me and all of my five feet and three inches in flip flops was a terrifying notion to have to brawl with. Several minutes later, in a rare moment of sanity, it dawns on me that I got into the wrong car.

I bolt from it and rush over to mine which, outside of the color, looks nothing like the one I was just in. Once it occurs to me that running makes me look even more like a criminal, I slow down. This is tragic, because the reason I slowed down was neither due to the heat nor the fact that I looked like a thief. More specifically, it was because I didn't want to look like a wimpy thief who just backed out of her first carjacking.

The good news is- I didn't get arrested. The bad news is- I need a new guardian angel to protect me from getting into the wrong car. I know for a fact that I have one designated to this specific task because this is not the first time I've done this. The first time it actually took me a lot longer to figure it out. 

I'm going to pretend like this didn't happen, especially since that would be really embarrassing if all my viewers caught that episode yesterday. Hopefully the camera men take Sundays off. 

Have you ever done anything embarrassing? Twice? 

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Monday Mantra: Quit It!

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Quit making excuses

You know what's irritating?  People that correct your speech when you purposely meant to say that particular word or phrase that way. If bootylicious can be a word, pretty much anything I make up can be a word, too. You feel me? You know what else is irritating? Having appointments that run late, thus messing up your blogging schedule. Another thing that's irritating, and far more on topic, is people who make excuses. Like me. 

I know people who aren't necessarily good people. They're not necessarily bad people, either. They just don't always do good things or say nice things or act in nice ways. To some people. And me. And maybe random strangers who didn't even do anything wrong.

Because I have no idea what to call these people, and because I sincerely think somewhere deep down inside they're nice, I always lean towards good. I'm always trying to find something good about them. I mean, they haven't beat up any old ladies or stolen candy from babies, but does that make them more good-er than not good? More good-ish? Less than bad, but not equal to good? I don't know. And if they're not good, then what the heck are they? Kinda-sorta-maybe alright, but only on holidays and during leap year and when they know authoritative figures are watching them?

This is too complicated and my brain hurts. 

I give these sort-of-good-but-not-really-good people the benefit of the doubt too much. I'm realizing this more and more. I make excuses for them. I give them far too much leniency. I give them more chances than I should, and at the end of it all I end my argument with, "...but he/she is still a good person..."  and I have no leg to stand on based on all the non-great things they've done. I am exhausted by, well, me.

I'm tired of people that blame life on everyone and everything else. I'm sorry your boss yelled at you today. Do you think that maybe you should have actually worked? I'm sorry you feel sick after eating 20 cupcakes for dinner. Do you think maybe you shouldn't have? I'm sorry you...I'm not. I'm not sorry. You get out of life what you put into it. Work hard. Try harder. Don't quit, even if you fail 500 times. Don't blame everyone else. Don't act like you have no control over your life. Don't "just because" everything and think you can make it through.

Ugh. The fact is, there are people in my life, and probably soon-to-be out of it, that need to man or woman up. They need to get some self-awareness, act responsibly, and, quite frankly, just be nice to other people. You do not celebrate when you've made other people have a bad day. You do not. No. Bad person, bad!

No more bad people, friends. No more excuses. 

Except for this last one, which is me trying to apologize for this being so late because of my schedule. Now, no more excuses. 

Have you ever made excuses for other people? Tell me I'm not alone, people. If so, want to break the habit with me? We can go cold turkey together.

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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Abyss of the Disheartened: IV
Heather Landis Society6
"Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will worry about events going badly. Let the lover be."
- Rumi

Remember how I went and had my fortune told by Madame Carolyn a few months ago? Well, so far she has been dead on. A part of me slightly wishes I had asked about the winning Powerball numbers, but based on everything she did say, I'm winning a whole different kind of lottery. One that's more important than monetary wealth.

My life has been slightly crazy and extremely wonderful these last several weeks. Which is why I am behind on all things blogging and laundry related, yet am ahead in all things wonderful and happy in life. Such as having a super, awesome, wonderful new boyfriend. 

I don't know how it happened, except that it did. And by that I mean, at a moment when I least expected anything, that's when everything was given to me.

I don't want to brag or anything, but he's one of those good ones that seem rare and almost non-existent. One of the ones all of your single friends (and some married ones) would like a clone of. In the words of one of my friends, "I'm so happy for you, but I also hate you so much right now. " It's true. I would hate me, too. I'm actually debating whether or not he's from this planet at all. All signs of awesomeness thus far point to no. 

In all seriousness, I honestly don't know how I lucked out, but I did. I've never met someone I could so easily be myself with from day one. Where I don't try to be anyone except exactly who I am, even in the more embarrassing moments of my life. For example, our second date, when I had a zit so horrible it looked like I might have had leprosy, but he didn't bat an eye or report me to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

Or when I told this very straight laced, ink free guy that I had multiple tattoo's with more coming, and he didn't look at me like I was in a gang.

Or when he didn't disown me after a friend of mine spilled a drink on him accidentally and I laughed so hard I couldn't move or even get the poor guy some napkins. In my defense, I couldn't function at all because of how hard I was laughing. Which actually isn't a good defense, now that I put that down in black and white, so never mind that last line.

The fact is there are so, so many amazing and equally hilarious things that I don't even know where to start because there would be no end. I would be here all year.

So what does all of this have to do with lemons exactly? I can't...quite...remember. I'm absent-minded. Leave me alone! 

I'm kidding, I love you guys. Plus, it just came back to me. Whew!

When life gives you lemons...Wait. 

Wait for someone to come along who is so kind and so genuinely interested in you that they notice everything. Every little detail about you. Like how you order lemons in your water at restaurants, which then leads them to purchase lemons for their house, so that every time you have a glass of water, you can have a slice of lemon in it.

Wait for someone who leaves your favorite radio station on in their car so that you always have your preferred music to listen to for every single car ride.

Wait for someone who offers to drive out of their way, in a hurricane-like monsoon storm, to pick up a gift for your mom for Mother's Day.

Last but certainly not least, wait for someone who cares about your well being so much, that when you tell them how gluten is your enemy, they do a massive amount of research as to what that means, what you can and can't eat, and what places they can take you out to so that you can enjoy yourself fully, without worrying about the Big Bad Gluten. (What can I say? I told you he was one of the good ones)

So wait.

Wait some more.

And don't stop waiting just because you're scared or impatient or find someone who has only 4 out of the 40 qualities you need in a person. It's OK to know what works for you and what doesn't. There is no settling. There is no need to. Just be patient and wait. The good ones are out there. They're just waiting, too. 

But if you do get exhausted from all of my suggested waiting, maybe pay a visit to Madame Carolyn. She seems to know her stuff.

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Sunday, June 3, 2012

Monday Mantra: Learn the Lesson

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: I will learn my lessons

A Butterfly Effect
Norman Duenas
People often wonder why their history repeats. Why they meet the same kinds of people or why bad things keep happening to them. They wonder why they attract the wrong types of guys or end up in the wrong situations, especially when something good happens to someone they know, but not to them.

Why them? Why not me? Why, why, why?

I don't believe that some people are destined for bad scenarios, bad relationships, bad this and that, while others are meant to live the good life. I believe, rather, that everything they've encountered in life has all been given to them as a lesson and that this lesson is specific to them and what they need (or don't need) out of life. It may not be a lesson they like, but a lesson they have to experience. A lesson that will repeat itself in various ways until it is fully learned.

This is the key: A lesson repeated until fully learned.

Life is certainly not an easy thing to navigate. There is no handbook that tells you how to find the perfect job, perfect partner, or even how to lead the perfect life.

This does not exist.

Instead of wishing for this handbook to magically appear before your eyes, I suggest you look at your own life as one very lengthy, yet incredibly important novel.

Over the course of your time here on earth, you will spend countless hours living out the life of the main character in this novel. You will grow, learn, and live fully as this character.  You will also be given various tests to pass before you can move on to the next chapter of your life. These are your lessons.

 If you study enough the first time and, more importantly, grasp the meaning of that particular chapter, you most likely won't fail your test and you'll be able to move on to the next portion of the book. If not, I can almost guarantee that you'll end up with a new homework assignment with which you will be given another test and another chance to try and pass.

Some of us will conquer the tests easily. Some of us will need to spend a lot of time studying and re-reading old chapters. For a few of us, we might even have to get to the very end of the novels of our lives before we fully understand all the chapters that came before. This is neither good nor bad, it just is. The difference, however, is a choice.

We've all had our fair share (maybe more than) of lessons we've needed to learn. How we handle those situations -  what we do during them, with them, after them -  is what makes all the difference.

Do we hold on to regrets, decisions, the past and what it did to us, or do we let go? Do we keep repeating patterns that don't serve our higher selves, or do we move on? Do we let fear, insecurity, and doubt hold us back? Or do we leap and go forth into unknown adventures?

No matter what it might be, the thing to remember is that we ultimately decide.

We decide whether we move forward, back, or stand still.

We get to decide.

Learn from your lessons, look for what they're trying to teach you, then move on to live the next chapter of your life.

Or not. It's up to you.

What will you decide?

Take a moment to think about your life. What lesson are you working on right now? 

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