Monday, April 22, 2013

Monday Mantra: Killing them with Kindness (the brave way)

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Kindness is the answer, braveness is the key
Marvin Porcher

In this world, hate never yet dispelled hate- only love dispels hate. This is the law, ancient and inexhaustible. 
The wind cannot overturn a mountain. 
Temptation cannot touch the man who is awake, strong and humble, who masters himself and minds the law. 
See the false as false. 
The true as true. 
Look into your heart, follow your nature
- Buddha

When I was a little girl my mom would give me the "kill them with kindness" speech all the time. "Be nice, Melia. It doesn't matter what they do, it matters what you do" she would say.

Along the way of trying to be a nice girl I've also been a pushover and a wall flower. In those moments where I was was brave and fought the good fight, I later felt bad about being less than nice because I didn't know how to be both courageous and forthright while being kind. For days on end afterwards I wondered how I could've approached the situation differently, in a kinder way.

Over time I found that my way, the best approach for me, is what some folks call The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Yes, it's a book and movie, but what I'm saying is that this way, this idea of doing all things with kindness in your heart, is what feels good in my soul.

I struggled for a long time (and still even sometimes now) to balance being nice, yet honest with my answers if I disagreed, if I thought they were wrong, if I was in any way the opposite of where someone else was coming from. I've struggled with the need to be good and keep the peace while standing up for what I believe in.

Last week, as you may have seen on my Facebook page, I posted the new Sara Bareillas song, Brave. I am absolutely and positively in love with it because I believe that courage is key when you're being kind- in some cases, anyway. When you need to stand up for what you believe in, when you need someone to know how you feel or how what they've done has affected you, courage is the hammer to the nail of kindness. In those instances you need both bravery and a polite approach to get your point across effectively.

Here's the link to the Brave music video. Next time you need to kill someone with kindness, think about how you can be brave and still kind in your words and actions.

How do you mix braveness with kindness when dealing with tricky situations?

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