Monday, March 24, 2014

Monday Mantra: Polishing Dark Spots in My Soul

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: I love my life

It's in my nature to be pessimistic and introverted more than outgoing and positive. This, I do not consider a bad thing. A thing, however, to pay attention to.

While I don't necessarily think one way - introvert or extrovert, pessimist or optimist, dark or light - is better than the other, I do often have to remind myself that these darker parts of me help balance the lighter parts, and that all of them equally need time, understanding, and patience.

That all parts of me, you, everyone - dark or light - need love.

I'm reminded of this every time I doubt myself, question myself, beat myself up for anything and everything.

I was reminded of this when I recently watched the Life in a Day documentary that had been sitting in my Netflix queue. At about 10 minutes in, I see a father caring for a son in a very messy house, to say the least. As I watched this man care for his son, I kept noticing large blown up pictures of a woman displayed in random places, all over the house. On the floor in the hallway, outside the bathroom door, propped up on tables and books and anywhere a picture could be placed. At the end of this small piece of the film, I realized just what has happened. Why the house was so messy, why the pictures were there. The  wife of the man, the mother of the boy, is gone. She has passed away and this is now their life.

It struck me so hard I re-watched just that piece three times, while bawling my face off. It was almost painfully obvious, how much he missed her, how he was barely coping, yet how important to him it was to make sure his son remembered her.

It's moments like that, when I see that other people, too, have darkness, sadness, and that they try and fail, when I have to remember to love my own life.

My new mantra in those moments of doubt, darkness, or judgement is this: I love my life.

I love my life.

It is perfect. It is exactly the way it is supposed to be for me. It is mine and I will cherish all parts of it, good and bad.

Follow Up: Something Inside

Recently, I posted about changing myself, doing something to make some kind of a difference with people who need it. My first step was to put together a Homeless Kit that could be carried around in my car at all times, ready whenever it was needed. It had blankets, food, anything that would be beneficial.

One week after I put the kit together, I had an opportunity to use it. Never having done anything like this before, I was a little nervous and awkward as I walked my box of items over to the homeless gentleman, who thanked me as I placed the box in his hands.

When I turned to walk back to my car, a new vehicle had pulled off the side of the road. In it I saw a man who was trying to get my attention. He rolled his window down and made it a point to thank me for what I had just done. He told me what a nice thing that was and how now, he too, was going to do the same thing. 

My nervousness and awkwardness left me after that moment and I knew this was something I had to keep doing. 

I guess this is what Paying It Forward looks and feels like, when you do one small thing and others join in too. It's how one act of kindness can be rewarded with a thank you, and how that thank you can suddenly be the most priceless item you possess.

Image via Pinterest

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