Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Aliens and Me

Two weeks ago I was forced into watching The Fourth Kind. OK, maybe not forced since I love horror movies for the most part, but I was slightly persuaded to watch it since I had no desire or intention to ever do so. I should have gone with my gut on that one.

The movie starts out with Milla Jovovich and some psychologist explaining that it is based on true events and real portions of the actual events that were filmed will be shown, as well as the re-creation. I'm already sitting on the sofa thinking I should strike the little "see no evil, hear no evil" monkey pose immediately. Things that are real or could be real freak me out more than your good old fashioned, run of the mill horror movies. Except werewolf movies, which nearly kill me entirely, but that's another story.

Let me start by saying that I have seen The Blair Witch Project and the other fake movies claiming to be real, so I know better than to believe these kinds of things. I do. I really, really do. It's just that I have an overly active imagination and this...belief system. I believe in God. I haven't seen him, met him, talked to him, but I believe in him. It works for me. Therefore, the way I see it anyway,  how can I deny that anything opposite could possibly exist either? Or that there isn't life on other planets? I can't, and I won't because I don't know and I would feel like a hypocrite. I haven't seen or talked to aliens either, but who's to say they aren't out there somewhere? Basically, I'm just an equal opportunity believer, which is good and bad, in cases like this.

The basis of the movie is this (so I don't ruin it for anyone else who never wants to sleep again either)...

There's a small town, Nome, Alaska, where a lot of people have disappeared and have been seeing the same strange, white owl at night. Turns out it's not a white owl at all. It's aliens abducting them and making them believe they've seen an owl so they can continue on with their life. There's a lady who's doing the research on it and things start to get really, super freaky when she trys to get to the bottom of it.

So here I am, watching this with Justin late at night. I am seriously getting scared, like five-year-old-monster-under-the-bed scared. So the movie ends and there is no way in H E Double Hockey Sticks that I'm going to bed. Ever. Justin then puts on a "lighter" alien movie that Dan Aykroyd has created because he is apparently a huge believer in aliens. It's not necessarily scary, but isn't helping my situation. At one point in the movie he says that research (or something) shows that aliens like to visit at 3:33 a.m. I don't know why, it's just their preferred time to mess with us I guess.

I finally try to go to bed. At some point in the night I get up to go to the bathroom. Justin also gets up with the dog. I'm walking out of the bathroom and all I see is this white thing moving towards me. My mind immediately goes to the whole white owl aliens and the following takes place:

I leap, I kid you not, leap straight up into the air and take off running down the hall. I'm moving like a gazelle, half loping, half bounding. I actually yell for my Justin, like the house is on fire or something. One of those crazy banshee type yells. Behind me I hear him, partially awake and confused, say "Babe? Um...babe???" I get to the end of the hall and realize I just freaked out for no real reason at all since he was wearing a white t-shirt. I then pretend to change the setting on the thermostat and walk calmly back to the bedroom. He's standing there staring at me and, as normally as I can without busting into laughter, I explain that it was really, really hot and I had to go change the temperature immediately and, uh, for some reason felt the need for a little midnight jog down the hall. Just when I think I've pulled it off he gives a little laugh and I know I'm busted.

The next night I can't sleep at all. Not one moment of rest comes to me and I have to work the next day. I swear I hear things and I keep waking up everyone, even the dog, so that I'm not alone in my scaredness. I go to work, exhausted, where I then tell my friend, Tiffany, about the adventures I had previously. She busts up. On our weekly call she keeps asking me how I'm doing with my special situation while stifling her laughter. The worst part is that every night for those next two weeks I would wake up somewhere in the magical time frame of 3:30-3:40 a.m. I'm not even exaggerating a little bit. It was like I had set my alarm for that time, that's how exact and frequent it happened. Of course, the time frame alone scared the life right out of me. To top it all off, I would have to pee, but I would be paralyzed in fear so I would then have to wake up the husband or dog so they could acknowledge my fear with me and make sure I returned to the bed without being abducted.

On top of all of that, I was now afraid of Alaska. I wanted to go there one day, never have been, and had this whole cruise idea that I got from some friends, but not now! No way was I going to Alien Land to hang out with pretend owls in the middle of the night and have my mind tampered with!

Then last week my mom and I are on the phone and she tells me she wakes up every night at, you guessed it, 3:33 in the morning. She lives in a remote enough area where I could see these kind of crazy things happening, being more possible, than here in my city life. So then I calmly, and as sanely sounding as possible, try and tell her why she should never, ever wake up then and why.

It's insane, how incredibly sleep deprived and crazy I was. I could have Googled it and calmed myself down sooner, but I didn't dare find out more about it than I should, since in the movie that's exactly what the aliens were ticked off about, this lady and her digging into their abductions. Eventually I did look it up and of course it all came up to be totally bogus, or at least enough for me to be able to sleep.

There's your funny for the day. I've decided I may be past the horror movie stage in my life and I'm pretty much alright with that. Anyone who would like to be terrified of owls and Alaska, this is the movie for you.

What scary movies terrifies you?

Update---> Oops, I did it again. I watched more things on aliens. One day I'll learn my lesson.
The Aliens and Me - Take Two

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Mediocre Renaissance Man said...

Yeah, my parents said this movie really messed with them too. I kind of wanted to see it, but I'm not sure. In fact, I'm still not sure. I don't scare too easily (especially when it comes to monsters, aliens or mythical creatures types of movies), but when my parents say something is messed up, it usually means it really is messed up.

Also, for personal reasons I choose not to watch anything that is R rated. Anyhow, I just heard about this fascinating scary movie about little creatures that eat teeth. It looks like an interesting movie. It's called, "Don't be Afraid of the Dark." I'd totally watch it if it weren't R rated. Sometimes I like a good scare.

As a side note, the only types of scary movies that have really gotten to me were ghost and satanic evil type scary things. I do believe in God and in the devil. I believe that both of them have very real power, and that if you mess with satanic things you're going to get what you're looking for (not in a good way). So yeah, those types of movies scare me sometimes.

Chantelle Says said...

Right there with you on that, my friend! Good for you and your standards of no R rated movies!