Sunday, June 22, 2014

Monday Mantra: Shhhh

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Listen to your soul wisdom certainty
Abyss of the Disheartened

I used to cry in the shower. It seemed like a safe place to cry. A place to shed emotions where no one could hear me and no one would know. Where I wouldn't have to explain myself or my feelings. Where each tear would be drowned out in the heavy repeating shhhh of the water.

This very contradictory act made me very happy.

In doing my self study work with Secret #1, I've noticed that lately I live between two emotions: Happiness and uncertainty. While I realize I could have many worse emotions to deal with, uncertainty isn't something to leave unchecked. Because it is believed that there are ultimately two key emotions in life, love and fear, everything you do/think/feel stems from one of them. Happiness comes from love, whereas uncertainty is the stone path in the garden of your life that leads to the house of fear. 

To address my uncertainty, I started making a list of things that make me happy. Not every day happy, but to the depths of my soul and the weight of my bones kind of happiness. This works as a kind of counter-action. In bringing awareness to those things that overwhelm me with joy and bliss, I more clearly see what I am certain of. I can focus in on the things I know for a fact about myself and my life, while simultaneously drowning out the things I'm not sure of. Essentially, I am shhhh-ing my doubts before they become full blown fears.

While I admit this sounds odd, I realized that crying in the shower should be on the happy list. Not because crying equates to happiness, but because it equates to old, familiar, comfortable pieces of my inner wisdom that knew what I needed without having to analyze why I needed it. Pieces that said "This feels right, so this is what I'll do." Soul wisdom certainty.

This soul wisdom certainty sometimes roars load and strong, when you least expect it. Last week I was visiting a friend out of state. The day had been beautiful and the night had been glorious with rain. So heavy and hard it reminded me of the water pouring down in the shower. The comforting, silencing shhhh that drowned out my thoughts. I was in bed reading a book when I heard a continual howl outside the window, a sound unlike I'd ever heard the wind make before. I came to learn that night that the wind does not make that sound, not ever. It was a siren in a town over, warning everyone to take shelter in their basements from the tornadoes dropping down.

It's interesting to see how happiness and uncertainty intertwine when hiding out in a basement. Will the tornado get us? Should I have grabbed my sneakers, my book, some snacks? Then - I'm so glad we have a basement to hide in! I'm so glad I didn't become a tornado chaser, like in Twister! I'm so thankful for the warning wind-like siren howl!

Back and forth like that in my mind. Should I...? - So thankful...! - Will we...? - So glad...!

When it was over, we went back upstairs, back to bed, back to safety. So happy to have avoided it, so awful to admit that when, just one town over, houses were torn to smithereens. In those early dawn hours, from the doubt and fear of the storm, the most powerful resounding certainty came forth:

I love my life.

I would never choose differently.


Soul wisdom certainty.

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