Monday, January 7, 2013

Monday Mantra: Take Time to Reflect

mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Take time to reflect on the lessons learned last year and apply them this year

As you all know, last year started out rough for me. My then husband and I split, I was still dealing with my grandmother's death, and the company I work at had so many organizational changes I didn't know where I would land or if I would land on anything at all.

My life was one gigantic question mark. I didn't know what to do next, what to think, what would happen, who I would be at the end of a minute, an hour, a day. Half the time I wasn't even sure what to say on here because I wanted to be myself and there were many occasions when I didn't know who that person was anymore.

But things got better, I got better, life got better one day at a time. I had lessons to learn and they were good for me. I'm certain I needed each and every one of them. Here are some of the bigger ones I learned that you may find helpful in the rough spots of your life.

Six Life Lessons 
Lesson Number 1: 

Don't become numb. 

If you need to be broken for a bit, be broken. Then rebuild. Make yourself new. 

There was one particular day back in March, after a series of events, where I just lost it. I came home crying and didn't stop. I cried, and cried, and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up the next day, I was still weeping. Every breath hurt and every thought weighed me down. That whole day I sat very still and silent on my sofa and stared out the window. I just stayed there and let the sorrow, frustration, anger, and sadness take me until everything became still and quiet. Eventually, everything that had been holding me down lifted. I've never had a day like it before and hope to never again, but as much as it hurt, it healed me twice over. 

Sometimes the one thing you need more than anything else is to accept how you feel and let those emotions run their course.

So get angry, sad, happy. Let your lungs feel with ridiculous amounts of laughter and let your eyes cry rivers of sorrow. Let yourself feel.

Lesson Number 2:
Expect nothing (because at the moment you least expect something to happen, that's when it will)

When I first met my now boyfriend, I wasn't looking, nor did I have any intentions of getting into a relationship anytime soon. I had just gotten used to being single and I was thoroughly enjoying it. 
When I met him I didn't have any expectations of him, of a potential "us", of anything at all...and that served me well. We went out, I got to know him, and as I would explain to all my friends and family later on, when God gives you a present that's just right for you, you don't question it or turn it down. You accept it, move on, and see where it leads. I wasn't expecting a present, but I got one- him.

Lesson Number 3:
Do not let the world make you hard

Be kind. 

You can't control what others will think, feel, or do but you can control what you say and how you act. As long as you have been as honest and true as you can be, and have done all things with kindness in your heart, you've done enough.

Lesson Number 4:

Everyone makes mistakes. It's one of the ways we learn the best lessons. That's how we grow. 

Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Forgive others for theirs.

Lesson Number 5: 
You can't please everyone

I'm one of those people who would prefer being friends with the whole world and getting along perfectly with everyone. This isn't realistic, but it's who I am. This is also a bad idea, because sometimes I end up hurting myself to avoid hurting others. Even then, after all my efforts, and as I'm sure some rapper somewhere has said, Haters Gonna Hate. 

People get really invested in other peoples lives and opinions. They take a personal stake in someone else, that person's actions or beliefs or words. It's something we all do even when it's not our place to do it. 

It's impossible to be what everyone needs, do what everyone thinks you should do, feel what they feel or believe what they believe. You can't please everyone, but you can make sure one person is happy- you.

Lesson Number 6:
Be patient

I am one of the very most impatient people on planet earth. Every once in a while I have a brief moment of patience which I then cling to, shove in my purse, and pull out every now and then to show people and say, "Hey, hey there! Did you know that Patience is my middle name? Well, it is. I have proof. See this seven minute window of time in the year 2003 when I ordered a drink from Starbucks and they made it wrong, so they had to make it again? I was patient that whole time." 

But those are lies, all lies. I am not a patient person. Or at least I wasn't until this year, because this year I learned to calm the heck down and it has paid off well, so far anyway.

Every unresolved question, thought, and moment in time will eventually become answered and clear. Not on your time, or my time, or on the barista's time, but at the right time. 

At the right time.

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

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