One Last Monday Mantra: Falling to Pieces, Falling into Place

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 Hi Friends, 

Since it's already January 4, I assume you've made or at least considered various resolutions/goals/things for 2021. If you're a Resolution Making Champion who meets every plan you set in place and never fails, this post isn't for you. 

This is for those of us who fail.

Maybe you ended a bad relationship recently and you're struggling. Maybe you have an addiction that needs to be faced, but you keep lying to yourself that you're fine. Maybe you've already failed at one or more of your 2021 resolutions. 

Maybe it feels like you're falling to pieces. 

We've been trained to think that failing, falling short of our goals, or being unhappy is bad. Conversely, we've been taught that succeeding 100% of the time and always being happy is good.

Real life doesn't work that way. 

Before my first marriage ended, I felt an unyielding sense of dread and despair. I knew it needed to end yet I couldn't bring myself to take that action. A fear of the unknown lurked around every corner. An overwhelming ache at the pain I would cause other people bore down on me so hard I couldn't, for a long time, take the necessary steps to my true and better life. I stayed married and I continued to fall apart, more and more every day until the universe - with all of its magical life altering ways - forced me to see the truth and take a leap of faith.

At first, it felt like I was free falling through air, not sure where or how or if I would land on my feet. 

Eventually, the remaining shredded pieces of my life started to form into a new path, a new plan, a new future. A new foundation for me to rebuild my life on. While everything up to that point was painful and hard, I could never have learned all the very necessary life lessons I needed any other way, which were:

 - Falling to pieces will, eventually, help you fall into the place you're meant to be. 

 - Failing will, eventually, teach you how to succeed. 

 - Being sad will, eventually, help you appreciate the lessons learned so that happiness can be more than an end-goal.

This pattern will repeat throughout your life because that's how life works. We learn best from struggle, not from ease - this is how we level up in life. Things falling to pieces eventually lead to things falling in place - as long as you keep trying; this is the only step you must always take.

One last thought before I leave you to your 2021 plans:

Two years ago I was in Japan during cherry blossom season. I was walking down The Philosopher's Path, taking in each and every glorious bloom. It was a cold, windy, rainy day. The cherry blossoms had started to fall from the trees and, in doing so, had created an incredible pink rain shower, covering the ground and river in petals galore. I can't imagine a more beautiful scene than the one that day where the trees were transitioning into their next season of life. 

When cherry blossoms start to fall, we don't yell at them to fall a certain way. We don't tell them they're falling wrong. We don't try and super glue them back to the tree like psychopaths. We find the new beauty they've created, whether that be in the way they're strewn around us or in the achingly beautiful bare branches. 

This is a grace we need to grant ourselves. 

Fall when, how, and where you must. Fall into a new place, a new path, a new start. Fall out of what is no longer or never was meant for you. Fall into and out of whatever is necessary, over and over and over again. 

I'll be right here, failing and falling along with you. 

_

In other news...

My plan for 2021 is to shutter this site. I love writing, and I love you, but it's time for a fresh start. I've been (oh-so slowly) working on something new for all of us. Something fresh and still very familiar. This is why I've been (mostly) quiet on here. As soon as my plans come to fruition, I'll let you know where you can find me!

Re-post: The Things We Know, the Things We Don't

One more re-post because this, too, still seems so vital. Questions to ask yourself, today and every day:

 - Why do we think we know better than the experts who have spent years studying their fields? 

 - Why do we give more weight to someone's words than their actions, especially when those actions prove the opposite of what they're saying? 

 - Why does the way we "care" about some things cost other people their lives, happiness, security, etc?

 - Why do we stand behind decades - centuries, even - old information when the world is a completely different place? Why do we do that in our government, our religion, in any way that can hurt another person?

 - Why is it hard to accept the truth when presented with solid facts? And what does that say about us?

_

Monday Mantra: Pay attention

Society6
Mikio Murakami

Have you ever considered the weight of knowledge? Of what knowing or not knowing something really means in the big picture?

Once upon a time, Japan released upon us the deadliest hot air balloons known to man. In an attempt to terrify and kill us, they created Fu-Go weapons that would float, thousands of miles in the air, from their country to ours. Silent weapons of death sent by the gods in the sky.

You probably don't know this story because it was a secret for many, many years. At the time, and for decades after, the government kept it a secret on purpose. This was done intentionally and strategically. Almost no one knew what had happened, that is, except for a small group of very unfortunate people. There was no hysteria in the United States, no fear, and Japan thought they had failed. That same lack of knowledge, however, is what killed a pregnant woman and several innocent children. Had they known these weapons were out there they never would have gone to investigate the strange thing in the woods that they spotted.

The knowledge we possess, or the lack thereof, comes with a price. It is powerful. It is what tips the scale one way or another. Very often, it's the deciding vote in life or death, good or bad, dangerous or safe situations.

Consider a time before fossil fuels. An era before we had electricity and power as we know it today. For most of us, it's unimaginable. Now, consider what it was like for the people that realized they could literally power the world with fossil fuels. I am certain their intentions were primarily good. I am certain it never even occurred to them what that would mean to the world decades into the future, the price we're all paying right now- the rush to find a renewable means of energy. What we didn't know then, we know more about now.

The key to this Puzzle of Knowing lies in what comes after our frame of knowledge changes.

We decide who we are by the actions we take. Do we acknowledge the errors we made along the way and move forward toward better things? Or do we pretend we don't know any better, still, when the evidence is so clear?

This is where you need to pay attention; to how you see things, to how other people react, to what comes next. This is why you need to pay attention; right now, immediately, always.

We can't know everything, it's impossible. That isn't an excuse for us to throw our hands up in the air like we just don't care.

Instead, we must remain open minded and we must look at every angle possible. We must be willing to change our minds when new facts and data surface. We can't get stuck in the old, in the past, in what worked once upon a time. We must hold ourselves accountable to find the facts, not rely on social media as our history lesson in life. When we are shown that we are wrong, that there is a better way, regardless of the effort, we must work towards that new and better way. And when we see something that we know is wrong, we must stand together until it is made right.

I mention that last piece because it feels vitally important in this very moment.

I can't tell you how many times I've recently seen or heard "Give our new president a chance. Whether you like him or not, he's our president and we need to support him."

Normally, I would agree. Normally, it's not that big of a deal. Really, it's not.*

However, nothing about our new president is normal.

To all those people who are telling everyone to give him a chance, to see what happens over the next four years:

 - Think of Rosa Parks. Would you have told her to calm down, that everything would be just fine, to give it a few years and see what happens?

 - Would you have stood behind Hitler when he promised to return his country to its former greatness?

I hope your answer for both of those is no.

Knowledge is power.

What we know about our new president is: He's a blatant liar, he doesn't conduct himself as a leader, he's using Nazi terminology in a modern way (Read this and this), and that he has ill will towards a variety of people - to name just a few of the many terrible things he does.

We know the White House website changed its page in less than 24 hours of him becoming president, with a QVC ad for his wife and the removal of certain info related to LGBT and climate change. We know people around the world, in numerous countries, have expressed concerns about his presidency and, just over the weekend, showed a tremendous amount of support for women's rights, among other things. That single point alone should speak volumes.

What we don't know is what he's capable of or what the future holds.

Here's to knowledge. Let's see where it gets us next.

-

For everyone around the world who has been standing by our side, supporting the people of America, using your voices and fighting with us- thank you. Those two words don't adequately sum up how appreciative we are. Thank you for helping us fight, not just for a better America, but for a better collective world.

-

*By which I mean voting is a big deal and getting the right people in office is a big deal, but typically the opponents are on a more fair playing field, which is to say: There's normally a lot less crazy in our candidates. In most instances, we're going to be fine either way.

Re-post: Nothing Satisfies Hate

What's happening in America right now - again - reminded me of this post I wrote three short years ago. Of how hatred halts all progress, refuses growth, refuses to learn, refuses to change. 

How it is never, not ever, satisfied. 

Enough isn't in its vocabulary; it can't be. Hate is all consuming, all demanding, unyielding in its pursuit of whatever it deems necessary to be destroyed...

...or conquered.

Remaining silent and complacent only gives it more strength. 

"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor." - Desmond Tutu

This applies to everything.

_

Monday Mantra: Nothing in the world will satisfy hate. It is designed to want more, more, more...

Society6
Mehersgoel

The unbelievable acts that took place recently in Charlottesville, VA got me thinking: What is the purpose of hate?

We grow up learning that "hate" is a bad word. As children, we're taught not to use it because we don't fully understand the implications of what it means. However, as adults, it appears some of us have forgotten that lesson. Maybe some of us never learned it in the first place.

We direct hate freely, in any and all ways we see fit. We don't just say we hate this or we hate that, we feel it. We let it permeate our beings, make a home in our bones. We let it control, we let it devour. We let it be a weapon in the war against others because, for some of us, it feels good.

What happens is destruction of the soul caused by a single, powerful, all consuming emotion.

This is the purpose of hate.

It's only when we grow out of the feeling of hatred, when we grow with and into love, that we see how childish of a feeling hate really is. How foolish, how lacking. How it demands we worship it, follow it, do its bidding. How we become prisoners of what it wants, what it will always want: more.

Let's play the devil's advocate for a moment. Let's pretend that everyone involved in the acts in Charlottesville eventually get what they want- utopia. A perfect world of only white people who look like them, share the same views they do. Then what? Are we to assume this is their happily ever after? That by quenching their thirst for hate they will be satisfied once and for all?

Hitler orchestrated the murder of millions. Do you think he ever felt satisfied? Do you think he ever thought it was enough?

No.

The answer will always be no. There is no such thing as satisfaction when it comes to hate. If this utopia existed, if they got exactly what they wanted, they'd eventually find something new to hate. They'd bicker among themselves, they'd find imperfections, and a new kind of enemy would be formed. A new era of problems, of people that are unworthy, of things that are "wrong" and do not belong. No one that allows these kinds of feelings inside of them ever finds satisfaction. They spend their whole lives chasing the next thing that must be destroyed.

Hate is a drug.

It will always want more. More of your time, more of your life, more damage and destruction and you- more of you, until there's nothing left but a miserable shell of a person who wasted their life running after unreachable goals.

Love, on the other hand, will rebuild.

It will nourish, it will soothe, it will open spaces inside of you that you never knew existed. Love will not demand more from you, it will not take- it will give. It will give and give and give, and just when you think there is no room left inside of you, it will find a crack, a crevice, an opening- and then it will give you more.

Love is the only cure for the hate virus. Only with love do we find true satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Everything else will leave you empty, leave you wanting, leave you in need. Everything else is a decoy.

Let us build a world so full of love that hate has no place left to live.

Re-post: Civilization is Just the Slow Process of Learning to be Kind

I've been scrolling through old posts and have come upon a few that still resonate - maybe even more so - today. This is one of them that repeats in my brain lately...

Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind.

We're clearly still learning. 

_

Monday Mantra: If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.  - Horace Traubel

My grandmother-in-law (or just Gram, as we call her) gave me a book of poems for Christmas: Poems That Touch The Heart compiled by A. L. Alexander. It's a copy of a book her late husband, George, liked to read. George would often come across a poem that reminded him of how he felt about her. He'd then jot down the poem from the book and give it to her. Adorable, right guys?

As you may have already figured out, I'm a fan of all things poetry, but Gram sharing something with me like this that had a special meaning to her was really quite touching. I was excited to read it and even more excited when I realized this was no normal book of poems- no, no. This is a masterpiece of humanity at its finest.

At the beginning of the book there's a rather lengthy introduction. I don't always read the intro, but this one caught my attention immediately.

Mr. Alexander starts off by telling a story about a local university president that needed a quote for a new building that would, essentially, sum up humanity's quest to define morality. The president struggled, but eventually landed on this simple statement followed by a poem:

"Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind."

So many gods, so many creeds, 

So many paths that wind and wind, 

When just the art of being kind, 

Is all this sad world needs.

He then continues into a story about a piece of history I'd never heard of: The Good Will Court.

Back in the early 1900's, Mr. Alexander worked in broadcasting. This is when radios were the entertainment of all entertainment. Families would gather round their radios, anxiously anticipating their favorite radio show to start up. (Picture: The Christmas Story. Remember little Ralphie and his unyielding dedication to the Little Orphan Annie radio show? Better yet, consider the Orson Welles fiasco, where he terrified the nation by thinking aliens were invading. Radio was that important back then.)

In the 1930's, Mr. Alexander was noticing a theme in letters he'd receive from people all over the world. Letters about economic stress, family problems, a feeling of hopelessness overall. As someone who always had the listener in mind, he wanted to do something to help. He enlisted the help of over 60 judges from a variety of local courts and created a radio show where listeners could get real help for free. On March 31, 1935, he debuted the Good Will Court. It was, to say the least, revolutionary at the time.

Unfortunately, a group of lawyers got together and shut down the show based on, basically, not liking that legal advise was being given away, but for the two years it was on, it had unprecedented rankings in the radio world. Mr. Alexander went on to create more shows of similar nature, as his goal to help people was as strong as ever.

In all of the radio shows he hosted, he would always close each one out the same way- with a poem. Over the years, tens of thousands of listeners sent him poetry to be read. Each night, he'd pick a different one and read it over the airwaves. He found that poetry, "...teaches us there can be no inward peace or happiness without some elemental faith in life's essential goodness."

That, my friends, is how this book was created. Each poem within the book was sent in by some long ago listener, which was then selected to be read on the air, and finally, based on the warm reception it received from the audience, was then chosen for this book.

I don't know about you, but that entire story - from where these poems originated from, and why, to how they landed in this book - warms my heart. Candidly, I can see why the poems (and stories, some of them seem to be) that are in his book were chosen. So far, all of the ones I've read have truly resonated with me. That doesn't always happen with poetry. Sometimes you have to be in the same headspace as the author, but the poems are all so vast and diverse that they tug at your heartstrings every which way.

Below are some of my favorites that I've come across so far. I highly suggest picking up this unique book of poems so you, too, can read and experience a little piece of history that remains true today: People need people, people need hope, and we should all build fires to keep one another warm in cold times.

Around The Corner

Around the corner I have a friend, 

In this great city that has no end;

Yet days go by, and weeks rush on, 

And before I know it a year is gone, 

And I never see my old friend's face, 

For Life is a swift and terrible race.

He knows I like him just as well

As in the days when I rang his bell

And he rang mine. We were younger then, 

And now we are busy, tired men:

Tired with playing a foolish game, 

Tired with trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow, " I say, "I will call on Jim, 

Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes - and tomorrow goes, 

And the distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner! - yet miles away...

"Here's a telegram, sir..."

                                      "Jim died today."

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end:

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

- Charles Hanson Towne

Unsubdued

I have hoped, I have planned, I have striven, 

To the will I have added the deed;

The best that was in me I've given, 

I have prayed, but the gods would not heed.

I have dared and reached only disaster, 

I have battled and broken my lance;

I am bruised by a pitiless master

That the weak and the timid call chance.

I am old, I am bent, I am cheated

Of all that Youth urged me to win;

But name me not with the defeated, 

Tomorrow again, I begin.

 - S. E. Kiser

Monday Mantra: Start Here

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: revolution; noun. A dramatic and wide-reaching change in the way something works or is organized or in people's ideas about it.

Becoming me. It's been no small task. I had to be 195 people first.

Hi friends,

I'm having a little...lifealution? Revolifetion? A life revolution. I'm actively trying to re-organize my life into new, better, wiser pieces.

Last year was busy in so many good ways, but the end kicked my butt in a most majestic fashion. Truly, awards should've been given to the universe. I mean the flair, you guys! The timing! Unbelievable.

In a matter of three months, the following happened:

I broke a toe right when I had two trips happening, both of which required extensive walking and climbing of very, very, very steep hills.

A few weeks later, I had a very minor medical procedure that was supposed to have a very minor healing time. Of course, that wasn't the case. To aid in the healing, I was supposed to wear compression stockings for a day or two. If you're unfamiliar with compression stockings, just imagine trying to fit your legs into skinny jeans 14 sizes too small that only come up to your thighs. Things bulge all over the place in weird and interesting ways. Then you have to figure out how to wear regular clothes over them, which is impossible because nothing looks normal about a body in compression stockings!

I planned everything out so it would happen over the weekend and I could be back to normal come Monday.

I ended up having to wear those bitches for a full 7 days. A work week, you guys. A WORK WEEK.

The day after I took the stockings off I fell so magnificently in my back yard that I busted my knee cap open. Badly. The impact was so bad I literally limped for weeks. I kid you not, it just fully healed this month.

December, all by itself, was a doozy. First, my husband and I got stuck in New Zealand (not a terrible place to be stuck, I know) because of flight problems you can't even imagine (don't worry, you won't have to imagine them; I'm saving that story for another day!).

The whole month was rough because my furry baby tore his ACL and was still dealing with an illness, which resulted in a gazillion vet appointments, medical bills, and many long sleepless nights.

And then, right when the year was ending and everything was slowing down so I could finally catch up, I got the flu. The flu then caused my vestibular system to get out of whack, so I started 2019 all jacked up and a little discombobulated.

Pretty sure I'm forgetting a few things, but you get the gist.

I normally like to use the end of the year to prep myself for the new one coming up. Because I had no choice in the matter this round, my new year is just starting. I just organized my calendars. I just took down holiday decorations. I just got October, November, and December to-do items accomplished.

I just realized I needed a change.

That's how it happened. That's how it's happening still.

I realized that trying to start everything on January 1, right along with the calendars, is ridiculous. I need more time. I bet you do, too.

The immediate jump from holiday festivities, and holiday eating, into nothing but smoothies and spinach? Nope. Not happening.

Why do we set such a hard and fast deadline to start all the new things, and to start them perfectly, after such a full, crazy-busy time of year? It's bonkers, you guys. Bonkers.

What if we eased into the new year? What if January was the warm up month and February was the real start? What if we allowed ourselves some space to breathe between all the fa-la-la-la-la-ing and the nothing-but-kale diets?

Say it with me, my friends: We deserve better. For ourselves. For our sanity. For the love of leftovers from the holidays.

Today, I decide how my time will be spent. Today, I begin a step towards living outside of what the calendar has deemed "a new beginning." Today, I decide when my beginning really begins.

Let's work together to build our own clocks, our own calendars, our own personal time frames.

Start here with me, friends. Design your own beginning.

Monday Mantra: A Safe Place

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: If each person creates a safe place for the ones we love, eventually everyone will be safe

My husband was on a recent work trip when the CIO of the company he was visiting invited him out for dinner. During their evening, the conversation turned to their families and a very interesting thing happened.

My husband mentioned how he's learned things from me that he lacked awareness on prior; that he's started to see things through my eyes, a woman's eyes. For instance, as a man he doesn't worry about walking down a street at night, or how having kids could impact his career. He proceeds forward, regardless of the time of day or stage in his life.

The CIO listened intently, nodded, and agreed. He said it's true, men typically don't think about those things. Men just walk, they just exist, they take up space on the sidewalks and don't think twice about the person next to them. They don't have to consider things women have to consider.

The CIO then told my husband the following, along with the best piece of wisdom he'd acquired over the years:

As white men, they've been privileged. Regardless of political beliefs or anything else, they've had it simple, period. The world was made for them to succeed. They never had to fight for the right to vote, they never had to fight for an education, they never had to fight for equal pay. All wheels put in motion have been to their benefit.

He went on to explain that the lesson he's learned from his marriage is that the home you share with your wife needs to be a safe place. A place where she can be herself at all times; unguarded, safe to speak freely, where she is 100% supported regardless of topic. He went on to explain that because women always have to fight in a way men don't, because they have to be careful in ways men don't, and because they have to be guarded in ways men don't, they need a place to just be. And home should be that place.

He also explained that this doesn't necessarily mean that he and his wife don't disagree about things from time to time but that, at the end of every single day, he's got her back. For instance, if she's frustrated about something, he's frustrated with her. If she doesn't like someone, heck no he doesn't like them either! He's her #1 supporter. And, if she later changes her mind about the person she doesn't like, cool, he'll swap right back, too. Their home is the one place in the world where she doesn't have to fight for her opinions to be heard, for her concerns to be heeded, for her needs to be met.

Home is her safe place and it's his job to make sure it stays that way. It's his job to help the rest of the world become a safe place, too.

This seems obvious when you think about it, but at the same time I, personally, have never heard it put quite this way. I've never heard it explained so clearly and so lovingly. It hit home, both literally and figuratively, for me and my husband.

For instance, I'm always joking with my husband about being Ride or Die with any number of things. Mostly I'm kidding, but every once in a while I'm serious and I want us to be on the same page, the same team.

During the conversation with the CIO my husband told him about my Ride or Die thoughts and how sometimes he struggles being "ride or die" because we think differently. He used an example about hiring someone to do work on our house. I didn't particularly like the person and want to use them again, while he thought they were fine and didn't see an issue hiring them back. The CIO told him to always back me up. If I didn't like the person we hired, they're out, because our home is sacred and anyone who enters should be someone that adds value to my life, not detracts, no matter how little. If I came around later and changed my mind, no big deal. Ride or Die all the way, he said. That's how you create an unconditional safe place.

Since then, my husband has been ride or dying everything. You know what? It has made my life, our home, our relationship even more of a safe place than it was before.

Imagine if each of us created a safe place for the people we love. One day the whole world would be safe.
_

A special shout-out to the CIO who's making the world better in his home and at his company. You, sir, are exceptional. We need more folks like you, especially those in leadership roles. 

And a shout-out to my husband, who's always willing to listen and learn and be the best husband, the best person, he can be.

Monday Mantra: Civilization Is Just The Slow Process of Learning To Be Kind

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: If the world is cold, make it your business to build fires.  - Horace Traubel

My grandmother-in-law (or just Gram, as we call her) gave me a book of poems for Christmas: Poems That Touch The Heart compiled by A. L. Alexander. It's a copy of a book her late husband, George, liked to read. George would often come across a poem that reminded him of how he felt about her. He'd then jot down the poem from the book and give it to her. Adorable, right guys?

As you may have already figured out, I'm a fan of all things poetry, but Gram sharing something with me like this that had a special meaning to her was really quite touching. I was excited to read it and even more excited when I realized this was no normal book of poems- no, no. This is a masterpiece of humanity at its finest.

At the beginning of the book there's a rather lengthy introduction. I don't always read the intro, but this one caught my attention immediately.

Mr. Alexander starts off by telling a story about a local university president that needed a quote for a new building that would, essentially, sum up humanity's quest to define morality. The president struggled, but eventually landed on this simple statement followed by a poem:

"Civilization is just the slow process of learning to be kind."

So many gods, so many creeds, 

So many paths that wind and wind, 

When just the art of being kind, 

Is all this sad world needs.

He then continues into a story about a piece of history I'd never heard of: The Good Will Court.

Back in the early 1900's, Mr. Alexander worked in broadcasting. This is when radios were the entertainment of all entertainment. Families would gather round their radios, anxiously anticipating their favorite radio show to start up. (Picture: The Christmas Story. Remember little Ralphie and his unyielding dedication to the Little Orphan Annie radio show? Better yet, consider the Orson Welles fiasco, where he terrified the nation by thinking aliens were invading. Radio was that important back then.)

In the 1930's, Mr. Alexander was noticing a theme in letters he'd receive from people all over the world. Letters about economic stress, family problems, a feeling of hopelessness overall. As someone who always had the listener in mind, he wanted to do something to help. He enlisted the help of over 60 judges from a variety of local courts and created a radio show where listeners could get real help for free. On March 31, 1935, he debuted the Good Will Court. It was, to say the least, revolutionary at the time.

Unfortunately, a group of lawyers got together and shut down the show based on, basically, not liking that legal advise was being given away, but for the two years it was on, it had unprecedented rankings in the radio world. Mr. Alexander went on to create more shows of similar nature, as his goal to help people was as strong as ever.

In all of the radio shows he hosted, he would always close each one out the same way- with a poem. Over the years, tens of thousands of listeners sent him poetry to be read. Each night, he'd pick a different one and read it over the airwaves. He found that poetry, "...teaches us there can be no inward peace or happiness without some elemental faith in life's essential goodness."

That, my friends, is how this book was created. Each poem within the book was sent in by some long ago listener, which was then selected to be read on the air, and finally, based on the warm reception it received from the audience, was then chosen for this book.

I don't know about you, but that entire story - from where these poems originated from, and why, to how they landed in this book - warms my heart. Candidly, I can see why the poems (and stories, some of them seem to be) that are in his book were chosen. So far, all of the ones I've read have truly resonated with me. That doesn't always happen with poetry. Sometimes you have to be in the same headspace as the author, but the poems are all so vast and diverse that they tug at your heartstrings every which way.

Below are some of my favorites that I've come across so far. I highly suggest picking up this unique book of poems so you, too, can read and experience a little piece of history that remains true today: People need people, people need hope, and we should all build fires to keep one another warm in cold times.

Around The Corner

Around the corner I have a friend, 

In this great city that has no end;

Yet days go by, and weeks rush on, 

And before I know it a year is gone, 

And I never see my old friend's face, 

For Life is a swift and terrible race.

He knows I like him just as well

As in the days when I rang his bell

And he rang mine. We were younger then, 

And now we are busy, tired men:

Tired with playing a foolish game, 

Tired with trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow, " I say, "I will call on Jim, 

Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes - and tomorrow goes, 

And the distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner! - yet miles away...

"Here's a telegram, sir..."

                                      "Jim died today."

And that's what we get, and deserve in the end:

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

- Charles Hanson Towne

Unsubdued

I have hoped, I have planned, I have striven, 

To the will I have added the deed;

The best that was in me I've given, 

I have prayed, but the gods would not heed.

I have dared and reached only disaster, 

I have battled and broken my lance;

I am bruised by a pitiless master

That the weak and the timid call chance.

I am old, I am bent, I am cheated

Of all that Youth urged me to win;

But name me not with the defeated, 

Tomorrow again, I begin.

 - S. E. Kiser

The Dark Candle

A man had a little daughter- an only and much-beloved child. He lived for her- she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self.

But one night he had a dream. he was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked:

"How is it, darling, that your candle alone is unlighted?"

"Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just them he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candles be extinguished by his useless tears!

 - Strickland Gillilan 

Monday Mantra: Holding On & Letting Go

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Hold on to each other, let go of your woes

Part 1 - Hold On To Each Other

This past weekend I attended a funeral for my late Pastor. He wasn't just my Pastor, though, he was a friend, a mentor, someone who I'd known so long, and who's family I'd been so close with, that he'd felt like an extended part of my family in many ways. He was someone who, by deciding to move to Arizona all those long years ago, brought terrific friends into my life.

His kids and I grew up together - I even got to spend quality time forming friendships with their cousins - and, when we were little, we were inseparable. There were sleep overs at each other's houses, adventures in the old church parking lot with the big trees that lined the property, and many church events over the years, like Vacation Bible School and Christmas Eve skits. We played and laughed and lived our little kid lives to the fullest.

We got older and went our separate ways, as is fairly normal in this thing called life. I'm the oldest of the crew and, just by the sheer nature of being older, I grew up and moved away long before they did. In my growing up, and in theirs, too, it's fair to say we all sort of grew apart. We're friends still, sure, but it's not the same as when we were younger. We all had different paths to take, and we moved to different cities, so that super close bond you get from just being around each other all the time...well, that's gone.

My Pastor's church was the hub. It's where all of our activities primarily happened. We saw each other every single weekend and on all major holidays. As we got older and moved away and moved on, those times lessened. Still, I always knew that my hometown, and my old church, was the place where I'd probably be able to catch up with them from time to time. For years, that was one of my favorite reasons for going home to visit.

On the long drive home from the funeral the other day, a realization hit me: This may be the last time I ever see all of them in the same place, at the same time, ever again. In fact, this may be the last time I see them at all if we fail to stay in touch like we always say we'll do.

That thought breaks my heart.

Our old church is just that- our old church. It's no longer my Pastor's church, he's not there. It's not even his wife's church now, as she moved to a different city just a few short months ago. It's no longer the hub. Now, it's just another place. The guarantee I had all those years to see my friends, well, it went away, just like we did.

It's a hard realization to come to. When you are so used to something, so reassured in its factuality, it's heartbreaking to accept when it stops, when it changes. These were my people. And I still love them and I still care about them...but everything is different.

For instance, at the funeral I learned my friend Noah apparently likes Westerns. I had no clue. It's weird to have once known someone well and now realize there are many, many, many things you don't know at all. Like when we were kids, his favorite color was green. Whether it still is or not, I don't know.

Another realization I had, and have had for many years, is that one of my greatest flaws is not being good at long distance friendships or even friendships where I don't see the person on a regular basis in some way, shape, or form.

It's too easy for me to get busy and laser in on what's directly in front of me. On top of that, I'm much more of an introvert as an adult. As a young person, I was very outgoing. But now, that doesn't come as naturally or as easily, and I'm far more awkward. I'm like Barry Allen; I don't know how to "people" all the time. I don't understand their rhythms like I used to. It's easy for me to wonder how and when to reach out. What's too much? What's not enough? What borders on being a stalker if you miss someone and want to rekindle your friendship? (Kidding on the last one, but you get my point.)

Each year that I get older, I see things differently. Like how I should have tried harder and made more of an effort for us all to stick together. When you're a teenager, when you're young, the possibilities feel endless. You assume you have time- to grow up, to do all the things, to reconnect. You don't realize how busy you are or how many years have passed until they're gone.

You realize that losing someone doesn't just come in the form of death; it comes in the form of change.
_

These are people I've known almost my entire life. That's not something most people can say and I feel the weight of its importance, the value in having known another person that's really known you - through childhood and change and even loss.

It's these friends that were there for me when my dad died. Even though we were all tiny tots, they felt my pain with me. They cried their tears while I cried mine. I still have the giant yellow cardboard card they made me with "We love you" written in little kid scribble.

All these years later, yet still far too soon, their hearts are breaking in a similar way mine once did and all I wanted to do last week, all I could think about, was finding a way to help ease that awful hurt.

I wish it was as simple as making a giant yellow cardboard card and telling them I love them.


Part 2 - Let Go Of Your Woes

After I had started working on this piece a couple nights ago, I was feeling anxious. Like there was something I needed to do or fix or understand. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't put my finger on what, exactly, that "thing" was.

I just kind of felt...incomplete.

As I was sitting in bed, I decided to try something. To put this uneasy feeling, this intangible sensation, out to the universe in the hopes it would direct me to the answer.

Next to my bed sits a book of poetry and, lately, I've found every time I read it, the poem I'm reading fits perfectly with what I'm experiencing in life. So, I grabbed the book, held all the pages between my hands, closed my eyes, and repeated, "What am I searching for, what am I searching for, what am I searching for?" over and over again.

Then, I let the pages slip between my fingers until my thumb felt a warm sensation coming from the page beneath it. There, I looked over the pages in front of me.

At first, I felt defeated; my question to the universe had been ignored, I thought. The titles of the two poems seemed completely unhelpful, especially the one on the right, the one where my thumb had landed. However, I decided to read them anyway. The one on the left was called "The House of Pride" and it was about the value we place on pride, knowledge, and love. It was a good poem, but it wasn't what I needed.

Finally, I read the poem on the right, the one I had purposely been avoiding, so frustrated that this was where I'd landed, so sure this poem would do nothing for me, answer no questions, resolve no issues. I carelessly read it at first, until I got to the second portion. Then, I realized my error. This oh-so normal and average looking poem was exactly the profound message I was looking for. The answer to my anxiety, the missing piece to the puzzle of feeling complete in my thoughts that evening.

Ol' Clothes

The Junk Man passed the house today

And gave his call in his plaintive way, 

"Ol' clothes!

        Ol' clothes!

                 Ol' clothes!

Any ol' clothes to throw away?
Any ol' dishes...any 'ol plates?

Any ol' pants or hats or skates, 

Any ol' kettles or pots or pans, 

Any ol' bottles or ol' tin cans, 

Any ol' dresses or any ol' shoes, 

Any ol' things that you can't use?

Ol' clothes!

        Ol' clothes!

                 Ol' clothes!"

I searched the house and made a heap

Of things that I didn't need to keep, 

Outworn garments and out-read books, 

Clothes that had hung on rusty hooks

For the dust to grime and the moths to chew.

And thus the old made way for the new.

I thought, as the old man went his way, 

How grand it would be if every day

The Junk Man passed the house to say, 

"Ol' woes

        Ol' woes

                 Ol' woes

Any ol' woes to throw away?

Any ol' grudges...any ol' hates, 

Any ol' miseries or sad ol' dates, 

Any ol' sorrows or any ol' spites, 

Any ol' fusses or feuds or fights, 

Any ol' sighs or any ol' tears, 

Any ol' wishing for yesteryears, 

Any ol' quarrles or any ol' frets, 

Any ol' tears or ol' regrets?

Ol' woes!

        Ol' woes!

                 Ol' woes!"

 - Author Unknown

Monday Mantra: When You Just Can't, But You Have To Anyway

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: We've all been there

On a recent trip to Starbucks, my brain decided to stop working. Temporarily and at exactly the most inconvenient moment.

There was a long line of cars ahead of us and we were moving slowly...at first. That's the key phrase here because the moving slowly part is what made my mind start wandering off, thinking about things like Buffy and Spike's relationship, which character on Friends I'm most like (the answer is Monica + Phoebe, in case you're curious), and how truly disappointing it is that I have made it this far in life and haven't had the chance to meet (and hug) a mini horse in person. I faux internet hug them all the time because, c'mon, they're adorable.

Anyway...when the line started picking up speed, I drove right along with all the other cars and right past the speaker when you're supposed to, you know, place your order. Now, I would've backed up, but the car behind me was pulling right along with me, so he ended up blocking most of where I needed to be. The car in front of me was just finishing their order, so I was stuck right in the middle of squat.

I heard the speaker buzz from behind and ask for my order. In my mind, the most logical thing to do was order at the window once the car in front of me left, so I real quick yell-explain my special situation back at the speaker and ask if I can drive up and order at the window, pretty please.

The Starbucks guy says he can hear me so to just go ahead and order. A normal person would be like, "F this, I'm not going to twist my head backwards and make this even more awkward for myself and the car behind me as I yell my order to everyone within a one mile radius." I am, however, not normal and embarrass myself on the regular, so I'm cool with it.

Me in my normal voice: "I would like a grande peach citrus white tea and a..." 

Starbucks Dude: "What? What was that?" 

Me in a slightly louder, more irritated, more enunciated voice because, duh, obviously this was going to happen: "I said a grrrrannnde peeeeach..." 

Starbucks Dude:"What size did you say?"

Me in my demon voice that I didn't even know I had: "I said a GRANDE! A WHITE PEACH CITRUS GRANDE and a STRAWBERRY GREEN TEA - GRANDE!" 

Starbucks Dude: "Cool. Sweetened or unsweetened?" 

Me: "...unsweetened..."

Then I calmly drive up to the window, pay the man, get my drinks, and leave. Oh, and my husband was in the car the whole time laughing at me, so there's that.

This is what you have to do when you're a grown up; when you just can't, and you clearly didn't, but you have no other choice so you just keep going until you can flee from the scene of shame and stupidity with your ice cold beverages.

There's no huge, overarching moral to this story, friends. Hopefully you had a good laugh.

Enjoy your Monday!

Monday Mantra: 35 Before 35

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Pursue your passions above all else

As long as there is open road the familiar has the most formidable competitor.  - Austin Kleon

Things I love, in order:

1) Family, friends, furry babies
2) Travel
3) Lord of the Rings

Number two is significant.

A little while back I set a goal for myself: to have traveled to 35 countries before my 35th birthday. On one hand, I completely believed I could make it happen. On the other, it seemed a little impossible given the time constraints. I knew I would get close, definitely, but actually hitting my target seemed out of reach. Nonetheless, I persisted.

The universe does magical things when you want something bad enough, friends. When you love something with all your being. When you've committed your heart and soul to it.

I didn't just hit my goal, I surpassed it (and with a solid buffer of time, might I add). *high fives self*

Am I pleased? As punch.

Am I satisfied? No.

I've been to six of the seven continents, I've traveled to 38 different countries, some on multiple occasions, and I've seen half of my own country. Is this enough?

Never, never, never.

Number wise, 38 sounds like a lot, but I've done the math, friends. It's not even a fourth of the world. If we generously round up, we can pretend. But mathematically speaking, I've seen a blip of what's out there. This miraculous, gorgeous, incredible world of ours is filled with more places than I can likely see in my lifetime, but that's not going to stop me from trying.

For instance, when I nonchalantly tell someone I have a travel bucket list, I literally mean I have a seven page document outlining all the international and domestic places I need to see, places I've already been and want to revisit, and when I think I'm going to make these adventures happen (determined primarily by my impatience to see them). The love I feel for traveling is real and deep and profound and, therefore, must be embraced.

Now, I ask you: What do you love?

What do you think about day and night, night and day, endlessly?

Do you want to own your own bakery? Become a photographer? Run for office? Sail around the world?

Go after your dreams, my friends. Do the things you love. Create a plan, post that sucker on a wall, and work towards it daily in whatever way you can. Everyone starts somewhere. I started with one country. That's how it works; you start, then you keep going.

Are your dreams so big you fear they're unreachable and, therefore, you've never started the process of achieving them at all?

Change your mindset.

I'll never be able to see every inch of this world, every city. I most likely won't be able to see every country, either. While I'd like to, while that's the ultimate goal, it's all the things along the way that make this journey amazing. It's all the other things I end up accomplishing that I never even would have considered or realized or thought possible.

Pursue the things you're passionate about. Every step you take, regardless of how far you get, is a step in the right direction.

Get going.

Monday Mantra: Winding Down/Ramping Up

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Trust your intuition, even when the reason for trusting it isn't clear

For quite some time now - three years to be exact - I've had this feeling. A feeling that change is coming in some seemingly significant way. So strong, this intuition of mine, that it's been directing my life and I've let it, trusting fully and completely that this deep, inner gut instinct is leading me on the right path to whatever it is that's coming.

Candidly, I can't quite put my finger on whether I'm winding down from something or I'm ramping up to something else. I suppose it could all be one in the same, but again, it feels too specific to water it down in that kind of a thought process.

What might be coming, though? Logically, the answer is kids. A new future entirely that would, indeed, be significant. But my instincts tell me that's not it. Or at least, that's not all of it. That it's not that straightforward and simple.

So...alien invasion maybe? We'll see.

I'm sharing this feeling with you today because I do believe that all of us possess a greater inner knowledge than we give ourselves credit for having. An inner knowledge that is unexplainable and, because of that, is often overlooked or ignored.

For instance, it might sound crazy when I tell you that I've turned down three jobs all because of The Feeling. One of them, in particular, could have opened up great doors for me, but my inner wisdom, my inner unexplainable gut knowledge said, "You could take it, but..."

But.

But what? I don't know, friends. I just know that every fiber of my being wanted me to stay put, stay patient, and stay faithful.

Here's what I do know:

This is the last year. Of whatever I'm waiting for, whatever is coming. This is the end. I can't explain how I know, but I know. I could tell the moment The Feeling came on that it was just the beginning. I could tell when I was in the middle. And now I am undoubtedly sure this is it. Sometime, within this year, something will change.

My friend, who also has The Feeling from time to time and understands what I'm saying, asked me if I thought I would recognize when "the thing that's supposed to happen" happens. It was a good question. I've assumed all along that yes, I will immediately recognize it, whatever it is, once it takes place. Honestly, I kind of feel like the universe owes it to me, after all of my patience and waiting and trusting.

However, if I look back over my life collectively, I can tell you that on more than one occasion when I wasn't sure what I was waiting for, time passed and I didn't immediately notice what had come or gone or changed. It would be years later when I looked back that I then saw the trail of bread crumbs leading up to each and every moment I had been feeling, been waiting on, been instinctively believing in. A trail so clear that I can now draw lines pinpointing every teeny tiny thing that happened and how it connected to the bigger picture of my life.

And, so, I wait.

And wait.

And I encourage you to do the same.

If you are unsure of something, check in with your gut. If your instincts are telling you something, listen. If you have The Feeling, let it guide you, even if you have no idea what or where it might be leading. If there's one thing I know about not knowing what's going to happen, it's that I've never been led down the wrong path when I listened, when I waited, when I trusted. I am certain it will be the same for you. (It's a universal pinky promise; it can't be broken!)

Just wait. You'll see.

And so will I. Maybe this time The Feeling is simply my life adjusting itself to the future of having children. Or maybe I'll have my very own Clark Kent dropped out of the sky into my backyard. That would definitely not be a straightforward kid kind of situation.

Either way, I wait.

Monday Mantra: Pfft

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug - Mary Chapin Carpenter

When I'm having a rough day at work, or in general, I like to tell myself life-affirming things. Little pick-me-ups and reminders so I don't punch anyone in the face and end up in jail. For instance:

When it's been a week from hell and everything you did was wrong:

 - "At least I can put 'flosses like a boss' on my resume."

When you've had to recreate the same PowerPoint deck 473 times because 20 different people have to weigh in and not a single one of them can make up their minds:

 - "I live in a state rampant with tiny scorpion demons. If I can handle that, I can handle anything!"

When you're stuck on a conference call during your lunch break with someone who continually interrupts you:

 - "Tacos never act this way. Tacos listen."

When your East coast business partner schedules a call that starts at 5am your time:

 - "Yawn-talking is a marketable skill, right?" *immediately edits LinkedIn profile*

In case you, too, find yourself needing a time out to avoid potential future incarceration, please feel free to edit the above options as needed to suit your particular situation.

Have a great week, friends!

Monday Mantra: Pursuing Passions

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Make time for the things you care about

Society6
Robert Farkas

Think back to a time when you found something you loved doing. That thing that made you feel pure and utter bliss, even in the most frustrating of times. That thing that brought you joy, that felt right in your bones.

Maybe you loved knitting. Or cooking. Or writing.

Painting. Singing. Sailing.

Acting.

Volunteering.

Traveling.

Close your eyes and tell me: What do you love? Now, tell me: Do you still make time for it?

The things that matter to you should be a part of your life. Have you lost them? Have you retained the spirit of pursuit of this thing that you love, whatever it may be?

My mom used to paint as a young adult. Landscapes, vases with flowers, animals. This was her passion. But as she got older, and as life got more complicated, she let it go. Since retiring, she's rekindled her love of art. She enrolled in a local community college course and has been taking it for almost a decade now. The same class, over and over, simply because of her love for it (and because her teacher is amazing). She only paints animals because she decided that was the only thing she liked to paint. And she's amazing, you guys. She's not just OK or passable. Her animal portraits are utterly fantastic.

In the last few years, she's created portraits of our pets, friends pets, clients pets. People are constantly asking her to create something for them. In fact, she was so backed up last year that she's still trying to catch up on requests.

She is almost 70 years old and she finally got back to the thing she loves doing.

It's painfully obvious to me that, had she had this outlet of creativity in her life all those other years, she might have been happier. But she didn't make time for it because she didn't believe she had time. There was too much house work and work-work and raising me as a single parent. There was simply too much of everything else and not enough time.

Time is an illusion, though. We make of it what we want.

Every single week, I write. Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. I schedule it into my life. Even when I'm swamped and even when it feels like work, I write. I do this with my other passions as well. I dedicate time to travel. I fit my photography into my adventures. I create, I carve, I mold my time to encompass the things that I love.

I do not wait for extra time to magically appear because I know it never will.

Remember that thing you loved, so long ago? Go back to it. Recapture the bliss. Create a schedule in your life that allows for the thing you loved so dearly. Make. It. Happen.

You deserve a life filled with the things you want to do, not just need to do; filled with all the things you love. Not just the people you love or the paycheck that puts food on the table, but the things that make you feel more like you.

Find the time. It is there. It is tangible.

Pursue the things you're passionate about.

It's a gift only you can give yourself.

Monday Mantra: Loud and Clear

A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation".

Every Monday I will post a new thought, idea, or focus for the week. When you need a breather from life, when you need a little inspiration, or when you're about to jump over the conference table and strangle your co-worker, remember the mantra.

Monday Mantra: Hold yourself accountable

Society6
CreativeAngel

I have this theory...

When I say something out loud in regard to a goal or dream I want to achieve, I feel like I'm making a promise. I feel like I've committed my thought to the air and now have to follow through with whatever it is that I said I was going to do. I imagine my words being captured by the wind and whisked off to to some higher power that holds me accountable to what I've promised.

It's a crazy concept, but it works for me.

When it's in my head, it's not real. It hasn't become solid, tangible, accessible. There is no plan and I don't have to take action. But when I say it out loud, I'm making it known that I will do this thing, whatever this thing is, and I will give it my all.

This concept of speaking my ideas out loud keeps me in check. I feel an instant accountability to give it my best. I've chatted with friends about this and they too feel there's something about getting the idea/goal/dream out of your head and spoken out loud that activates a switch inside of you. A switch that your hand may have previously been hovering over, scared to flip from OFF to ON.

Flip the switch, my friends. Now is the time. Use your voice and speak your dreams and make it happen. Make a commitment to yourself that you will try, try, try whatever it is you need to try, try, try. Give your words to the wind and give your idea/goal/dream everything you've got.

You can do it. You can and you will.

_

This will be my last post for a little bit, folks. Taking some time to get things done and enjoy the nice weather before it turns into a lava pit here in AZ.