Friday, December 2, 2011

Anyone Got a Snuggie?

Winter has officially hit my city. I know this because I'm about to freeze to death, my fingers are turning purple, and most importantly, I had to put a long sleeved shirt on.

I blame my lack of tolerance for the cold on being a native. Sunshine runs in my blood. I drive in the summer with the windows up and the AC off. That's just how I roll, yo. This is a problem because I am almost always somewhere where I'm cold. Like my home town, where they actually have four seasons and this crazy white stuff called snow. Or the office where the AC is set to turn me into a popsicle.

I know there are easy fixes, like say long johns and jackets. I know, I know. But here's my problem: I hate sleeves.

I don't know why I have an aversion to them, but I do. I own shirts with sleeves, I just don't use them properly. I will be knee deep in snow with three sweatshirts, two pairs of pants, a hat, a scarf, and gloves - and my sleeves will be pushed up. Right now, in fact, I'm sitting here still trying to resuscitate my frozen limbs and my sleeves are up at my elbows.

My solution? A snuggie.

There's no way I can roll anything up because each sleeve is like a giant tent. I would go mad attempting that every 3 seconds. I would still try, but eventually it would backfire on me like a Pavlov experiment gone wrong.

On top of my near death experience today, my shirt broke. I left a trail of tiny sequins wherever I went. My fix? Tape.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I walked around the office today with a piece of tape stuck to my side and no one was the wiser.

Admittedly, I am a failure at certain Mrs. Cleaver type qualities such as sowing. My poor future children will all have store bought clothes. That or pieces of fabric taped, stapled, and paper clipped together...because this is how I have learned to deal with every single pair of pants that I own being 4 inches too long.

When I got my first Corporate America type job, where I had to wear business pants and walk around on my feet all day, the high heels were out. So I did what any self respecting 17 year old would do and I stapled those mo fo's up. That's right. Worked like a charm, too. I have since learned that their is such a thing as a seamstress, but in snafus that pop up, like today, tape and other office supplies always work.

Feel free to steal that brilliant idea.

Got any crazy outfit situations? Do you have a snuggie I can borrow??? 

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