Friday, October 24, 2014

The Reflection of Shadows: Why He Loves Me, I Don't Know

The Reflection of Shadows
A collection of moments

When I wrote this poem, I didn't know where I was going with it or what I was trying to say. The words simply poured out of me onto the paper and I was left pondering exactly what I meant. Looking at it now, I see how it clearly ties to Secret #4, to the path I'm always on, seeking, seeking, seeking... and to what I always used to think was failing, failing, failing. I see how it ties to the divine presence I believe in and how, many times, I've felt that I have let Him down in my journey here on earth trying to live this humble human life. How He's always been there to pick up my pieces and carry me on.

Why He Loves Me, I Don't Know

Why he loves me, I don’t know,
What has made his fondness grow?
Through the turmoil and the pain,
Through my darkness he remains.
How did he survive the moments,
Filled with silent, distant torments,
When my mind left spinning, turning,
Made me wanting, needing, yearning.
I’ve abandoned and denied him,
In my darkest moments tried him,
Pushed him further than his limits,
And never once has he resisted.

When my taste in love is changing,
When I question what I’m craving,
He’s the farmer planting, seeding,
Quickly growing what I’m needing.
Never yielding, always loving,
Even when I take off running,
Never leaving bread crumbs showing,
Where I’ve gone, he’s followed, knowing.
He’s my balance when I’m falling,
In my deafness he’s still calling,
When I’m breaking, crumbling, dying,
In my blindness he is guiding.
When my numbest moments hit me
In my solitude he’s with me.

Through my self destructing phases,
When my thoughts are blurred and hazy,
When self-hate has caused me damage,
He’s the threading to my bandage.
In those hollow, silent moments,
When my heart was fearful, frozen,
When I showed my demons rising
All he saw were angels crying.
What I’m thinking, he’s erasing,
Banning my self tortured hating,
Imprinting the best and brightest,
Showering my soul with kindness.
Why he loves me, I don’t know
Till this day his love still grows.

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