Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Fortress

I live in a fortress, strong and powerful. Nothing and no one can get through its walls.
I have been here a long time.
I sit high up in a room with one window.
From my window I can see for miles.
Outside of my fortress is a moat filled with venomous water snakes. They circle the castle in the dark waters.
Surrounding the moat is a wall, thicker and taller than any wall created. A wall not meant to be overcome.
Behind the wall is a field, long and wide.
In this field there are mines, invisible but deadly and alarmed.
Beyond the field is a fence. Electrifying for those who dare touch it.
Outside of my fence is the world.
Blurred images of people and love, hopes and dreams, fear and failure, all waiting for me to let them in.
From my window I can see all of this, yet I do not want to leave or to allow them entry.
From my window I am safe from everyone and everything.
No one can reach me.

I live in a fortress, dark and cold.  Nothing and no one can get it.
I have been here a long time.
I sit up high in a room with a window that has a view.
From my window I can see for miles.
I see a moat, murky and black. The water snakes have drowned in its pity.
I see a wall, old and crumbling. Vines are breaching its many cracks and the greenness of the vines stands out against its dark palette.
I see a field overgrown with ferns and daises. The mines are old and rusted, weary from waiting to be set off.
I see a fence bending over, tired of being on guard. Empty of energy for shocking all who were brave enough to try and enter.
Beyond my barriers I see the sun rise and fall. I see colors. I see life.
I see chance, opportunity, dreams. I see people.
They are waiting for me.
Even after the shock, the pain, and my determination to keep them out, they wait still.
From my window I see all of this and my heart aches.
No one can reach me.

I lived in a fortress. There I grew lonely and bored.
Nothing and no one could ever get in.
So I had to walk out.
I lowered by drawbridge to cross over my empty moat.
I climbed over the broken stones of my wall that had crumbled.
I walked through my field, picking daisies and burying mines, covering them with mounds and mounds of flowers.
I walked to my fence that was no longer whole, no longer in tact.
I saw the people waiting.
I felt the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair.
I took a breath and climbed over.
I walked to them and to everything I had kept out.
They had waited and finally I let them reach me.

I once lived in a fortress, big and tall.
I sat in a room with a window where I looked out at the beauty of the world, the adventures of life.
I had walls to protect me from this beautiful world because I was afraid.
I let my passion be overcome by fear and I let fear take me.
I longed for golden rays of sunshine on my skin, the essence of flowers in the air, the feeling of being alive.
I began to fade away for lack of living and I became a shadow in my fortress.
Until one day, one day, when I finally realized...
I had built myself a prison.

If you feel like you've created a prison for yourself, it's time to break out.

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