The Kindness Chronicles: Seven Secrets

People always think there are secrets. I always hear, "What's that person's secret to staying fit? What do they do that I don't?" The fact is, there are no actual secrets. There are a lot of truths out there that are bogged down in the multitude of marketing campaigns and photoshop ads, magazine articles and media tricks. We sometimes get stuck in a mindset just based on something we saw or heard so we don't think to question anything.

It's time to question everything.

It's time to question ourselves.

As previously mentioned, I'm crazy and I'm taking a bootcamp class. I like it because I like challenges and new things, but I don't like it because the emails they send out focus only on eating and working out.

They do not focus on what I believe is the most important aspect of losing weight: The mind.

I fully believe that for anything to happen for you, whether it be weight loss or leading a happier life, it has to start in your head. You have to be willing to dive into your own brain, to ask questions you've never asked, and to understand your thoughts from an entirely new perspective.

You have to ask, "Why?"

For example, wanting to work out and lose weight is great. Yes, you'll see results, but if you don't figure out why you eat when you're depressed then you're never really getting to the bottom of things. Or, more appropriately, the top. Because everything you do starts with a thought.

I've created some things for you to think over. I call these The Seven Secrets which are, in all actuality, truths hidden beneath the surface. It's time to shine some light on them.

The Seven Secrets

1. The body you want is the body you have.

You might be shaking your head "no" right now, but please pause. Learning to appreciate yourself right now, exactly as you are is a key step. Don't discount your body. You have one - this one. Be thankful for it. Love it. It's the only one you're going to get.

Once you see that, you can move on and shape it the way you want. You can mold it, your one and only body, into what you want. Self-hatred will get you nowhere. Self-love will get you everywhere.


2. Every. Single. Diet. Works.

It's all about the mental shift, really. Every diet out there focuses on the same underlying theme: Eat better. Work out more.

That's it.

All they do is package it up differently and change a couple of guidelines. In that regard, every diet works because various people have all seen results and attest to all the different diets out there.

So, what am I saying?

If one didn't work for you before, it's most likely because you weren't mentally ready for it or the lifestyle change it required.

Diets aren't easy and they rarely last...that's why I don't recommend them. What I recommend is a lifestyle change. An entire lifestyle shift. That's what lasts. That's what re-molding yourself requires. For that you have to be in the right place, mentally. You have to want it the right way for the right reasons. You have to be prepared.

That's why diets work for some people and not for others. They were in a mental state that allowed whichever diet they tried to work for them. And they didn't just diet. I guarantee you their whole perspective on life changed.

So, if you're not ready, you're not ready. That's all. You'll know when you are because the effort behind it will excite you, not terrify you. It will come more and more easily until it's just what you do. Then you've shifted. Then you've made it work for you, not the other way around. Then you will be successful.


3. Silence your mind.

What you think about yourself is incredibly important. You hold yourself accountable in a way no one else can because you, and only you, live in your mind and hear your thoughts. No boss, co-worker, friend, or relative can tap into your innermost mental musings.

To really understand yourself, you have to silence your mind. You have to understand that a thought is a temporary, fleeting moment in time. It can change on you in seconds. You hold within you the power to act, or not act, on what you're thinking about.

That being said, before you decide to do anything, ask yourself: What or who am I doing this for?

If the answer isn't fully and 100% for you, it will fail you in the long run.

Losing weight to fit into a new dress is awesome, but it's just a dress. Doing it for summer is fine, but winter will be back. Doing it because you saw a magazine cover and feel inadequate is a form of motivation, but it's not a good one.

Do it for you. Do what makes you happy. Tap into the silence of your mind. It will tell you what those things are. You'll have all the answers you need in that quite space.


4. Move. Lift. Sweat.

Overweight people can be healthier than thin people. And it's all dependent on how you take care of yourself.

Let me explain.

For starters, you can't go off of BMI calculations. They're outdated and don't take into consideration overall muscle mass vs. fat tissue. Contrary to the very popular, yet very misstated quote of, "Muscle weights more than fat" it's actually that muscle takes up less space than fat. One pound of muscle and one pound of fat both separately weight...one pound. It's the space inside your body that they inhabit that's different.

A "skinny" person might be at the right BMI calculations, but if they've never worked out a day in their lives they will have more body fat than muscle. That is where they run health risks. Fat stores toxins. Fat keeps you tired, run down. When you have no muscle, you have nothing to set your metabolism aflame. You're a slow burning ember rather than a raging fire.

A "fat" person might step on a scale and see a number that terrifies them and, if they base everything only on the number, they may then proceed to freak out. However, if they've been building lean muscle they are replacing fat with muscle. Remember Taylor Lautner from Twilight? Of course you do. He went from being Normal Taylor to Buff Taylor. He did that by packing on 20 pounds of muscle. Thats' right. He gained weight. Anyone think he looks fat? I didn't think so.

Point being: It's important to move your body. You need to move around, sweat, lift some weights. It's good for you mentally and physically. And if you do yoga, very often spiritually too. It's a win-win-win situation.


5. It's you against the world.

Advertisements, magazines, billboards, and even (sometimes) people you know, are out to get you.

Nothing is real, ladies and gentlemen. Every magazine ad is altered. Movies are even altered so that the lighting make everyone look just so. I read a statistic the other day on how many people photo shop their Facebook pictures just so they look better. I don't remember the numbers, but it was a large percentage and I was shocked. 

But that's the thing. Everything is so fake that when we see a real person we don't take them as they are. We want the fake. The re-touching, best lighting, "perfect" version of them. And we want that in ourselves more than anything else.

Enough is enough. We need to fight for normalcy and the way we do that is with ourselves.

Be the real version of you.

If you want to lose weight, don't aim for a photoshopped, fake version of yourself. Aim for a better, real version of who you are right now.

Remember, your body type is not like everyone else's. We are all completely different and we need to remember that. I will never look like Cameron Diaz. I am not tall or lean like that. Looking up to her as role model for size would be bogus for me. You have to be realistic about what you can change. You have to be realistic about what you can look like.

I vote for you looking like you. Fully and completely, whatever version you want. As long as it's really you.

6. Learn more, live better.

You have a right to know what's in your food, but you have to be willing to do some research. There's a lot of junk out there pretending to be food. It's not safe. It's not.

Question everything. Heck, question what I'm saying. Ask a multitude of questions. Demand answers. Never stop wanting to learn about anything that can and does affect you-  like High Fructose Corn Syrup. Or GMO's. Or overly processed foods, chemicals in your body products, and cancer causing ingredients in your drinks.

Question everything you put on and in you. The more you know, the better.


7. There is always an answer.

The first one, to all of your problems, is you.

Everything you want to change, become, and transform begins with you and no one else.

You have to make the first move.

You have to decide to be better.

You have to want to do the work.

You can and you will.

It's you. It's always been you.

You can do it.


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The Kindness Chronicles: Diet is a Four Letter Word
The Kindness Chronicles: Well, What do I eat now?
The Kindness Chronicles: A Kind State of Mind